It’s absolutely asinine to think you’ve been robbed of your little boy life now for 6 months. Thank you cancer once again for ruining our lives and everyone else that you touch.

6 months without your silly monkey ways, 6 months without your little squeaky voice, 6 months without your ever so impressionable smile that could melt a person’s heart with one glance, 6 months without being able to hold your little hand, 6 months without your sweet lips on mine, 6 months since I’ve snuggled and held you close, 6 months since my heart went to heaven.

Oh how I wish I could have gone with you.  Sometimes life just seems so meaningless, like we’re just going through the motions to just get through the day and on to the next.

Where is everybody when you need them?

I don’t sleep well, I haven’t now for 3 years, but now it’s worse.  I lay in bed after usually falling asleep on the couch holding Sissy, but totally awake and now running my mind through the never ending slideshow of your life and death.  Would you be able to sleep? Would you be able to sleep knowing the place your baby boy, your hero once slept, is now an empty spot.  I look over at your daddy and want to just smack him sometimes for being able to sleep as soundly as he does, (he doesn’t on the nights I work though, haha, cuz of Sissy).  Could you sleep knowing that everything that your beloved little boy ever loved, had ever done, colored, played with and cherished is now in a big storage container in his “new” room.  Knowing everything is in there, but not having the strength or courage to even look through it or pull things out to make your room feel more of a little boy’s room than just daddy’s office.  Knowing that if you did dig through it you’d probably have a major melt down and cry session.  Sometimes its better not even go there.  But sometimes a good cry session is all you need to pick yourself up again and go through the never ending motions of life once again, life without you Cashy…life that will never be the same.

I lay awake wishing and hoping you’d come running through the door with your big cheeky grin on your face, just because you missed me and wanted to squeeze in the middle of daddy and I. Oh how I wish I could be tired from being up all night with you, getting you water, even cleaning up your throw up if need be.  I wouldn’t even care about laying in your pee, like we often had to do because you’d soak through the sheets and your super absorbent nighttime diapers twice a night sometimes, I’d gladly do all the dirty work over and over if it meant getting to see you again.  But I don’t, I lay awake in a sleepless cycle of regrets and what if’s, could of’s and should of’s, because your dead and I can’t change that reality.

The things that keep me going and make me have semi better days are because of the people that have grown to love you so much buddy.  They followed your story and a lot of them are perfect strangers, people we’ve never met before, people who poured their hearts into prayers, meditations, positive thoughts for you.  A lot of them are friends from the past, friends that I’ve made because of you, and friends that have always been around. But it’s the strangers and the friends from long ago that have picked up on your story and have fallen in love with you, you’ve changed so many lives in your short little life here on earth, it’s seriously amazing.  I get so many heartfelt letters and messages weekly from people that you’ve changed their life through their learning of your story.  Isn’t that phenomenal Cashy? That something so amazing came out of something so negative, and destructive as cancer.

I got permission from one of my friends from elementary and grade school to repost a message she had sent to me awhile back, the things she said really stuck with me, it warmed my heart and made me feel really good.  Thanks Karen!

————————————————

First I want to say that you are an amazing woman.  The strength that you and your family show is unbelievable and truly inspirational! I look at your FB page almost daily and I love your blog. Your little Cashy has changed so many lives and has inspired the world.  

Because of his story and your posts, so many families are making a healthy change. I for one love reading your posts about nutrition (second of course to stories about Cash).  Thank you for bringing to light the world of GMOs.  It scared the crap out of me to know what I had been feeding my boys.  We have made the organic switch and I am now a crazy label reader.  I would love to know more about all the changes that you have made to your diets and such.  I still feel a little…okay a lot…overwhelmed by it all.  It is harder with the older two boys because they are so darn picky when it comes to food.  They would have lived off of chicken nuggets and turkey sandwiches if I would have let them. It’s hard to find substitutes for all that ‘bad’ stuff.  Taybor (the youngest) was easy.  I never fed him store bought baby food; he wouldn’t eat the nasty stuff. I made all his baby food myself and he is a completely different child.

Months ago, you wrote about juicing and it had me instantly researching juicers and I fell in love.  It is my one guarantee that they boys get the veggie nutrition that they need.  I never in a million years thought that they would even touch spinach or kale let alone eat it!  

Thank you for sharing Cashy’s story with everyone. I don’t know how you manage to do what you do; wife, mom, nurse and world changer.  Sounds like Super Mom to me.

———–

So how amazingly sweet is that Cashy?  You’re helping change the world little by little.  I get a lot of these message, letters, emails like this and it truly touches my soul each and every time I get one.  So thank you all for being there for my family and me during this difficult last year we’ve had.  Nothing in life can be worse than losing your own child, especially to cancer…nothing.  So every little word of encouragement, every little message from your heart really helps me keep goings.  So thank you all, and thank you Karen.  ;)

Cashy, everything in my mind is jumbled. I can’t get the night you died out of my head.  The images are imprinted in the back of my mind and I don’t think I’ll ever forget the pain and heart ache that went on that night.  We were so unprepared, so in denial that you were “dying.”  Never once did we think that you were going to actually die.  We were so hopeful. There were never talks of funeral plans, what you would wear, how you would be dealt with, i.e.; cremation, embalming, burial.  I honestly never once thought about what we would “do.”  I just thought that you would beat this, that we would cure you that my momma skills could just make you all better. Isn’t that what moms are supposed to do for their little boys? Kiss and make it better with a Toy Story Band-Aid?  Well you can’t put a Band-Aid on a friggin brain tumor, as much as I’d like to think I could, but I just couldn’t make this one better this time.  You got tired.  You put up such a hard fight. I get flashes of that night you passed, almost like a war veteran would get “flashbacks”, I get cancer flashback; I have “momcology” PTSD.  I picture you gasping for air like you did for that hour that night.  I was so scared for you.  All I could do was panic, cry and fear that you were suffering.  I wanted you comfortable, which you had always been.  I think the whole stigma of “dying” made me panic and made me feel like you needed something to help ease the transition.  But the oil did it, ten minutes after your second extra dose of oil you breathing slowed, you were calm and you were able to just cuddle with us.  I wasn’t calm.  I was a wreck; I was in a zone of an adrenaline rush.  A certain kind of adrenaline rush no parent should ever have to feel.  I remember telling you how strong you were and how proud of you I was, and I remember telling you it was ok to let go.  I actually told you it was ok, that daddy and I would be alright. I lied, we’re not alright, and we’re not ok.  We miss our little boy more than anything.

I was admiring the coffee table yesterday.  I examined every little sticker that is forever stuck to it, stuck by your little fingers.  I’m so glad I never removed all those stickers.  They will forever reside there, just like your everlasting angelic presence is in my heart.  A real smile inside me exists, every so often.  Once in a while there’s a smile, a smile that I can let go without the guilty feeling and that little devil that resides on my shoulder saying, “why are you smiling?  Your son is dead; there is nothing to be smiling about.”  But once in awhile, I can muster up a smile, but how can that smile be real and true when your heart is so broken?

Daddy and I will be flying out on Thursday morning to San Fran.  We’re excited to get away together and spread some Cashy cancer awareness.  Hopefully John and Corinne will give us a tour of all the must sees in San Fran because all the other times we’ve been there; there wasn’t much time for that!  Can’t wait guys!!!

Well Cashy, I will say goodnight and tell you once again that we are all hurting for you.  We will be hurting for you for the rest of our lives, but our lives that you are going to shape for us to live, so we can live to the fullest potential possible.  Because living any other way would be a disgrace to you and everything you fought so hard to live for.  We want to live life to the fullest for you Cashy.  Kinda like the “what would Jesus do” motto.  What would Cashy do?  That’s how I wanna live.  (That’s a lot of lives, and life’s, haha, kinda a tongue twister).

Oh and the little baby that was born last week named Cash Michael, well they decided to change his middle name to Hayden and let YOU be the one and only Cash Michael.  I thought that was so sweet and I cried to myself when a fellow nurse that had her as a patient as well told me this yesterday.  Wow so incredibly amazing of them, to honor you like that buddy.  Man I miss you.

I love you to the moon and back buddy, to the moon and back.

Love,

Your momma

To learn more about or to help out the Cash Hyde Foundation, please visit www.CashHydeFoundation.com or to follow Cashy’s Battle Blog.

UnitedPatientsGroup.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight pediatric cancer! Thank you for your support!

UnitedPatientsGroup and The Cash Hyde Foundation:

• Our Journey has brought us some amazing stories…

• Doobons.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight Pediatric Cancer

• Medical Cannabis Resource Site Doobons.com Helps the Cash Hyde Foundation Spread Smiles

• Doobons.com Sends Out Plea for Cannabis Oil Donations for Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Victim Cash Hyde

• Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Patient Latest Casualty of Medical Marijuana Crackdown

• United Patients Group Spearheads Cash Hyde Foundation Medical Marijuana Reform Movement
• Pediatric Cancer Mom Turns Her Pain into Purpose with Aid of United Patients Group

The stored electrical energy in the battery is carried to a heating element in the bowl of the Box which gently warms your herbals. The Box provides just enough heat to release the active ingredients as a vapor without causing combustion to occur.

Vaporization (avoiding combustion) is good for a number of reasons:

• More medicinal qualities are available because they are not being consumed by fire — vaporization is more efficient.
• There are little to no harmful combustion byproducts (NO tar, carbon/nitrogen monoxides, free radicals, particulates/soot, etc).
• Vaporization is overall much healthier for you and a LOT easier on the lungs — no more unnecessary coughing.
• The fine qualities and taste of your herbals are fully available without being obscured by the noxious byproducts of burning.

For more on Magic Flight

Assemblyman Tom Ammiano (D-San Francisco) introduced AB 473, a bill that would require all marijuana-related entities, excluding patients and caregivers, to abide by statewide regulations of the Department of Alcohol Beverage Control. Regulations include “standards for the cultivation, manufacturing, testing, transportation, distribution, and sales of medical marijuana and medical marijuana products.” It also establishes a mandatory registration program for commercial businesses, as well as a penalty system for violating regulations.

Pros of Bill

(Hopefully) help avoid federal attention and raids

By controlling the substance in a system that works and does not disturb the general public, US attorneys will have less of a reason to bother with and justify their intense crackdowns.

Distinguishes the good actors from the bad

Establishing registration, standardization, and penalty systems will weed out the illegal grow operations and farmers who have been polluting or abusing local environments.

Establishes better community rapport and provides stronger foundation for future legalization

A positive and more understanding experience with a well-regulated medical marijuana industry will open up the doors to legalization, as was the case with Colorado and its recent full-scale approval of recreational marijuana.

Cons of Bill

Blurs lines of medical needs and recreational wants

By giving the Department of Alcohol Beverage Control the power to regulate this large industry, it sends a confusing message to California voters for future legalization ballots. ABC would make sense if marijuana were legal recreationally, but “The California Department of Public Health is the more appropriate body for medical cannabis,” according to P.A.N.

Continued confusion of city power and rulings

With no real statement made about who can and cannot enforce bans against dispensaries, the confusion about controlling the existence of them in communities’ remains unclear. The recent Supreme Court ruling (decided on Monday, May 6), however, permits California cities and counties to ban pot shops on their own accord. Though a decisive limitation, the court also noted that further action can still be taken to develop this decision.

Though AB 473 can be viewed as a stepping-stone towards recreational legalization, it is better to establish and prove the medicinal process and access first and then strive strongly for the former.

For some reason these past few weeks have been extremely hard without you here Cashy. You would think as time passes, my heart would be use to the sadness, the pain and being without you here. It’s not easier, it’s worse.  It’s almost like I have risen out of the fog that I’ve been living in these last 6 months and now things are clearer, and things are clearly wrong.

Wrong as in our family…we are a family of 5, not 4.  Wrong as in your big brother has lost a buddy and no longer has you to play with or teach bad things too.  He doesn’t get to run around the back yard with you, he doesn’t get to help you learn how to ride your big boy Spider-Man bike without training wheels.  He doesn’t get to have a partner in crime like he should.  He should be taking you down to the gully below our house so you guys can run through the creek and get your shoes soaking wet like he does by himself now.  He should be showing you how to kick a soccer ball and score a goal (or I could show you that, mom’s an old pro–haha).  He should be helping you learn how to read by reading you books before bedtime. He doesn’t get to do any of this; he has lost his best buddy, his side kick.

We always talk about how you would be doing certain things if you were still here with us. Such as, if you were still here you’d still be sleeping in-between daddy and I in bed. You and Sissy both.  Instead I now occupy the pillow you once laid your head to rest every night.  I don’t get to fight over who gets “mommy’s Blankie” now, It’s always just waiting there for me instead of you snuggled up with it.

I think a lot about how I should have been able to sign you up for kindergarten this year. Next month you would be turning 5 years old.  It’s amazing and so unfair to think, life can change so fast, in the blink of an eye.  I don’t think reality will ever fully set in that you’re gone forever. That no matter how hard I wish, hope, pray, and beg to hold you or kiss you again, reality is I won’t be able to. I only have your pictures and memories left.  You would never imagine how even the blurriest of pictures is a blessing to me.  I’m glad I never erased all those blurry photos that I took twenty times just to get one good one of you smiling.  I cherish each and everyone now.  Since the first of May I’ve been trying to post a different picture of you every day in honor of Brain Cancer Awareness month, ones that most people haven’t seen.  But I start looking through the pictures and all I can do is just bawl my eyes out as the sting of you being gone resonates throughout my whole body leaving my heart numb.  I stare at these pictures looking at every detail of your sweet face, your angelic body.  How was I so lucky to have even gotten the time I did with you? But why couldn’t I have had more?

Your documentary is coming out into theaters really soon, the debut is June 6th.  We will be heading to SLC to help promote and be there at the premiere.  Then daddy will fly to Texas the same weekend for the premiere in Dallas on June 8th.  It will be playing in Missoula on July 25th as well, at the Wilma! We will be there with bells on selling bracelets and shirts.  Everyone should come and be there for this and help support Cashy’s legacy! If you’re not there I’ll be pissed!! Haha! It’s a phenomenal documentary and you are the star Cashy! This documentary is the sequel to “American Drug Wars,” a documentary you can find on Netflix.  It’s going be huge and soon everyone will know your story Cashy.  Here is the link to the trailer: (you might have to copy and paste it) https://vimeo.com/62974651

Well last weekend your brother and I ran in the Color Me Rad 5k race here in Missoula with a bunch of new and old friends, we were Team Cashy of course! The raddest team of all!  The race was a blast and it felt good to get out there and run and throw colored chalk around. Your brother had fun too, but he was a little slow!! Haha.  He needs to get his butt in gear and start getting ready for hunting season!  So a big thanks to Michele Steele for organizing team Cashy, it was great to have gotten to meet all of her friends.  They all seemed like such great people, just like she is.  Love you Chele.  Thanks as well to Staci Manaraska for making all the ladies our reggae tutus, we all looked so fabulous!  Thanks for your hard work babe! It was nice to get out there and laugh a little bit!

Daddy worked hard today and finished up 4 more Reggae Runners that we will be donating to Sacred Heart Hospital in Spokane, WA this weekend! It’s always exciting to go and donate some runners; it helps keep a smile on our face, knowing that we’re putting smiles on sick kid’s faces. It’s such a good feeling and I hope you’re proud little buddy.

Brooke and I rode bikes down Pattee canyon, by the new house yesterday.  It was a blast zooming down the road on a pedal bike again, I felt like a kid again!! Brooke was freaking me out though as she is 7 months Prego zoomin down Pattee on her cruiser bike, haha.  It was all good.   So we got a crazy idea and daddy went and bought us a mountain bike at Wal-Mart and he hooked a baby seat to it for Sissy.  So now while I’ve been at work, the boys and Sissy have been cruising downtown and around Missoula on their bikes the last two nights.  I can wait to join next time!! Hopefully I can make it back up to the house, uphill isn’t the easiest on a bike!! Haha. Here is a pic of sissy eating an ice cream cone from the DQ on one of their rides.

So at work tonight, about 6 hours into my shift I was in the room weighing a baby, changing his diaper and checking his vital signs.  I asked the mom, “So what’s this little guy’s name?”  She answered, “His name is Cash, Cash Michael.”  Whoa, I was speechless and got a little nauseated and hot flashy.  I got flustered and I had the baby baked to weight him, but in the flustered-ness I put his clothes back on and forgot to weight him so I had to take everything back off. Lol, oh man I wasn’t sure how I felt about it.  I was overwhelmed with emotion. She said they hadn’t decided if they were going to use a K or a C for it, (in my head I was like, K K K).  I left the room after finishing my tasks.  Went into the med room and couldn’t hold back the tears.  Ugh, twice now in a row I’ve been crying at work. I hate crying in front of people, I hate to show weakness.  I know the name Cash is a pretty dang cool name, but man, hearing that this baby was a Cash Michael just like you; it broke my heart but made me smile at the same time.  I want my Cash Michael back.  :(

My little Cash monkey boy and big brother Colty.

Next week Daddy and I are going to San Francisco to visit John and Corinne (thanks for flying us down guys!) and daddy is going to be talking at a conference and we will be running a booth for the foundation.  I’m excited to get out of town for a bit, but nervous to leave Sissy for three nights.  She is still nursing, so I will have to be pumping.  Ugh!  Oh the joys of motherhood!

The last time we were in San Francisco was with you buddy for your 4th birthday where we donated 10 reggae runners. I miss you so much bud.

Well, the entire month of May sucks and to top it off May 6th is “bereaved Mother’s Day.”  I got a message from a fellow friend, who’s also lost a baby herself, not to cancer but to childhood infant death syndrome (such a tragedy) saying it was national bereaved Mother’s Day.  So now I officially hate May even more.  Real Mother’s Day is coming up and I’m not even looking forward to it because Mother’s Day is a day where you celebrate being a mother to your wonderful kiddos, but how can it be wonderful when you’re not here.

Knowing deep down I’m a mother of three kids but only two are alive with me now.  That my baby boy is gone because of cancer, because of that nasty Effin disease that is underfunded for pediatric research, but yet the government can spend nearly a million dollars a year on researching how snails have sex.  No joke.  How snails have sex???  It’s disgusting and I’m ashamed to even say I’m an American if this is what it’s come down to.  Snails having sex takes priority over thousands of kids dying each year.  Fuck you American government, when will our kids take priority?  Who knows, but until then people will keep shaving their heads (not my boys, their growing their hair OUT for cancer, lol); people will keep donating their money to charities that only help themselves and not the kids. When will the kids be more important? After all they are our future right??

Well Cashy, I’m going to go, I hope you’re happy, safe and warm.  I miss you so much and love you to the moon and back.

-Momma

Cashy Fans:

Here is a recipe for some yummy zucchini.  Slice zucchini in half, cut end off to stabilize, brush with olive oil or coconut oil, top with garlic powder.  Top with sliced tomatoes and salt and pepper to taste. Then layer with mozzarella cheese, and add fresh basil on top.  Bake at 375 for 20-30 minutes!  So yummy!

Here is a yummy potatoes recipe also, except instead of butter and olive oil use coconut oil (much better for you and no cholesterol) you could even use sweet potatoes instead. Yumm!

To learn more about or to help out the Cash Hyde Foundation, please visit www.CashHydeFoundation.com or to follow Cashy’s Battle Blog.

UnitedPatientsGroup.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight pediatric cancer! Thank you for your support!

UnitedPatientsGroup and The Cash Hyde Foundation:

• Our Journey has brought us some amazing stories…

• Doobons.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight Pediatric Cancer

• Medical Cannabis Resource Site Doobons.com Helps the Cash Hyde Foundation Spread Smiles

• Doobons.com Sends Out Plea for Cannabis Oil Donations for Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Victim Cash Hyde

• Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Patient Latest Casualty of Medical Marijuana Crackdown

• United Patients Group Spearheads Cash Hyde Foundation Medical Marijuana Reform Movement
• Pediatric Cancer Mom Turns Her Pain into Purpose with Aid of United Patients Group

What is Cannabis oil?

What is naphtha or petroleum-ether?
In general, petroleum-ether and naphtha refer to very similar products, even though different names may be used around the world; e.g. in some countries naphtha is equivalent to diesel or kerosene fuel. Both solvents are a mixture of petroleum hydrocarbons (PHCs), often available in a wide range of qualities. All the solvent components should be considered harmful and flammable, and some of them, such as hexane and benzene, may be neurotoxic. Both naphtha and petroleum-ether are considered potential cancer hazards according to their manufacturers. Moreover, products sold as naphtha may contain added impurities (e.g. Coleman® fuel) which may have harmful properties of their own.

Are residual solvents a health risk?
Although Cannabis oils are usually concentrated by evaporating the solvents that were used for extraction, this does not completely eliminate residual solvents. As a result of sample viscosity, the more concentrated an extract becomes, the more difficult it will be to remove the residual solvent from it. In such a case, applying more heat will increase solvent evaporation, but simultaneously more beneficial components (such as cannabinoids or terpenes) may be lost as well. The use of non-toxic solvents should therefore always be advised, so that potential residues are not harmful to health.

What is the best and healthiest way to prepare Cannabis oil?
Recently, an analytical study was performed to compare several generally used preparation methods on the basis of cannabinoids, terpenes, and residual solvent components. Solvents tested included ethanol, naphtha, petroleum-ether, and olive oil. Based on this study, the following recommendations can be made:

• As extraction solvents, ethanol and olive oil were shown to perform the best, extracting the full range of terpenes and cannabinoids present in cannabis plant material very efficiently. Additionally these solvents are safe for consumption.
• Unfortunately, pure ethanol also extracts large amounts of chlorophyll from cannabis material, which will give the final extract a distinct green, and often unpleasant, taste. Removing chlorophyll by filtering the ethanol extract over activated charcoal was found to be effective, but it also removed a large proportion of cannabinoids and terpenes, and is therefore not advised. Additionally, in many countries consumption-grade ethanol is an expensive solvent, as a result of added tax on alcohol products.
• Of the solvents tested, this leaves olive oil as the most optimal choice for preparation of cannabis oil for self-medication. Olive oil is cheap, not flammable or toxic, and the oil needs to be heated up only to 100°C (by placing a glass jar containing the product in boiling water for 1-2 hours) so no overheating of the oil can occur. After cooling down and filtering the oil it is immediately ready for consumption. As a trade-off, however, olive oil extract cannot be concentrated by evaporation, which means patients will need to consume a larger volume of it in order to get the same therapeutic results.
• Preheating of cannabis to ‘activate’ (decarboxylate) the cannabinoids may result in loss of terpenes as a result of evaporation. If the full range of terpenes is desired in the final Cannabis oil, dried buds and leaves can be used directly for extraction, without preheating.

About the author
Dr Arno Hazekamp is a phytochemical researcher at the Department of Plant Metabolomics of Leiden University, The Netherlands. He also coordinates the R&D program at Bedrocan BV.

Newsweed-worthy

Some Financial Rest for the Non-Wicked

Exercising due diligence with Cathy Jordan’s marijuana treatments may be the saving grace of a February raid. The raid of a couple’s Florida home came after receiving attention from a Miami Herald article in which Senator Jeff Clemens (D-Lake Worth) named a proposed bill legalizing medical marijuana after Jordan, a 25-year fighter of the Lou Gehrig’s disease (with the help of cannabis treatments). Though Florida is a non-medicinal marijuana state, it courts let some medical cases be an exception – the Jordan case may be one of them.

Connecticut Cancer Patient Comes Out

Terminal cancers make some people fight harder than others to find relief and enjoy life, and 42-year-old Tracey Gamer Fanning is a Connecticut warrior doing just that. Her state recently joined the medical marijuana ranks, but she still finds it difficult to be a patient – there is no where to legally buy cannabis. Fanning and Fanning’s doctor are hoping to change that and the lives of suffering patients by speaking out.

Maryland is Not the 19th State to Legalize MMJ

With just less than half the United States as a medical marijuana state, we’re well on our way to becoming a united cannabis nation. However, not all states are created cannabis-equal and Maryland is a prime example. Despite the Maryland Senate’s legalization efforts, the Americans for Safe Access advocacy group feel that Maryland has fallen short of being a medical cannabis state.

Well-weeded

Time For Human Test Subjects to Meet Cannabidiol (Hopefully)

In January, we shared California researchers’ small-scale success with cannabidiol (CBD)  “stopping” metastasis in certain cancers. Today, we’re sharing that they’re a couple steps closer to taking this much-needed discovery to the next level – human-testing. The fact that cancer patients may get to meet their possible savior in this lifetime speaks volumes when it comes to a plant that’s on the wrong section of the Federal Drug Schedule, no?

Fancy Financials Take A Look at an MMJ Cash Cow

Despite marijuana’s federal standing, it’s a good time to start looking into investing in the possible cash cow of a drug. At least, that’s the gist we get from Forbes writer Jordan Terry and his story on Nuvilex’s medical marijuana arm of the business. As noted earlier, the medicinal landscape is changing and this biotech company is responding to that change, so get in the game early and avoid being a band-wagoner.

Illinois Doctor’s Taking to the Front Lines of MMJ Legalization

The battle with marijuana legalization (medically and recreationally) has been a long one, but it’s getting better by the month, especially with medical professionals heading up the fight. As is the case with Illinois, and the 250 doctors’ plea of state lawmakers to legalize medical marijuana. Who better to accept advice from than from professionals themselves?

Wild Weeds

Must Watch: (The Wild Wild) Code of the West Documentary

It’s easy to get caught up in state-level cannabis legalization victories because it’s another success for suffering patients. But the forward momentum of medical marijuana legalization can sometimes tend to have moments of delay, or even continued despair. To get both sides of the story, help manage your expectations, and re-inspire yourself to strive for better marijuana advocacy, watch Code of the West.

The Vapir Rise is super easy to use and ready for action right out of the box. It utilizes top of the line HEPA air filters and a ceramic heating element that ensures you are ingesting only pure vapor: no harmful toxins, smoke or carcinogens. The VapirRise vaporizer’s ceramic heating element creates a convection current allowing for a shorter heating time so you don’t need to wait as long to enjoy the Rise as you do with other leading desktop units.

Another hallmark of the Vapir Rise is its versatility. Vapir knows that some vaporists enjoy the balloon bag method while others prefer a whip style vape. The VapirRise is an herbal vaporizer that offers both a vapor balloon and a direct inhalation tube as options for its users’ enjoyment. Perhaps the most exciting accessory in the VapirRise Vaporizer is the 4-person adapter, a piece easily attached to allow for a group vapor “hookah” session. This accessory is a godsend because it allows for participants to vape at their leisure, without anyone worrying about who’s hogging the bag.

And the versatility doesn’t end there! The VapirRise is also equipped with an Aromatherapy Oil Chamber which allows for incredibly invigorating aromatherapy sessions. Personally, I love using my VapirRise for medicating with dry herbs as well as using the aromatherapy setting to vaporize essential oils when I meditate or lead yoga classes. It can be an incredibly beneficial holistic device for sufferers of chronic illness or for simple relaxation; it’s easy to load, easy to maintain and can be cleaned quickly with a simple cotton swab.

There’s really nothing to complain about with the Vapir Rise. It’s durable, lightweight, heats up quickly and has scads of vaporizing options. For my money it’s easily the best forced air vaporizer on the market.

May 3^rd, 2010 will be another day amongst the many other memorable and unforgettable days we will never forget.  As long as we live, we will always be haunted by the meaning of that day. That day brings back a mirage of emotions, a feeling of hopelessness, helplessness, mere confusion and utter disbelief.

How could my ever so perfect 22 month old (22 months at the time) baby boy, whom we prayed and planned on entering into this world. The baby I fought so hard to keep pregnant with after the roller coaster of a pregnancy I had.  The perfect little monkey baby I birthed, the sweet little tiny bundle of joy daddy did skin to skin with, within hours of him being born. How could our semi perfect illusion of what “life” should be, be turned around in the blink of an eye.

Little did we know what we thought, or I thought, was a perfect life, it was far from that. We were living the dream but in a completely wrong type of way.  Our lifestyle was un-healthy; we were living by the “book” of what you think life is supposed to be.  The nice new house, the new cars, the ATV’s, the camper, the new furniture and now the new baby that we had “planned.” Everybody wants these things, right? But are they what really makes you happy? No happiness comes from your heart; it doesn’t come from that new car smell in your brand new SUV.  It comes from deep within your soul. What does truly make you happy?

I’m not one to usually admit things when I’m wrong.  I am the type who tries to make excuses or reasons as to why I did that wrong or why I didn’t do it this way.  But I have no excuse for the way we used to live.  I look back and realize I truly wasn’t happy with myself.  Everything I ever wanted was right at the tips of my fingers but what did it truly bring me?  I was nearly 50 pounds overweight, depressed and in a deep deep “funk” as you would call it. I drank 60 oz of diet coke a day, and never exercised. All before the diagnosis of cancer wreaked havoc on our lives.  I used to be a soccer star, I made goals and would run circles around girls. I had three full ride scholarships to college for soccer (I know, I know, why didn’t I take one of them, I wouldn’t have student loans..yeah, yeah, yeah…two words Mike Hyde, lol). How did I get so far off of track?

Before the diagnosis I was doing everything wrong when it came to feeding and nourishing my family.  I in a way blame myself for Cashy developing cancer.  I believe the food and milk I was feeding my family caused Cashy to get cancer, along with many environmental factors.  Before diagnosis I recall warming up Cashy’s (plastic) bottles of cow’s milk (ugh) in the microwave.  It’s utterly shameful to even talk about.  Why would I warm up a plastic bottle of cow’s milk in that ever so deadly microwave?  It’s terrible.  We don’t have a microwave now (we haven’t had one for over a year and a half now, don’t miss it one bit), let alone drink cow’s milk.  Strictly coconut or almond milk for us now.  I cooked meals from boxed dinners like hamburger helper (talk about MSG and natural flavor overload), I let them eat Doritos and Fruity Pebbles, and fruit snacks.  I haven’t bought anything like that in a long long time now.

So when I say I’m thankful for cancer in a way for changing my life in many good ways as well as the many bad ways, it’s because it has bettered me as a person, a mother, a friend (even though some of you probably get sick and tired of all my rambling and conspiracy theories).

When Cash was diagnosed the second time is when we really changed our way of eating as a family.  We decided to go vegan for Cashy.  We did the juicing protocols, vegan, and no gluten. Man, at first that was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.  In the beginning I felt like I was starving us.  What do we eat? What do the kids snack on?  Cashy loves his egg burritos, how do I mimic that? Day three I think I freaked out and cried and cried.  I had to research new meal ideas, had strange spices and different textures of foods I’ve never even seen before.  Quinoa? What the heck is that stuff!?  Now I use Quinoa on almost every meal.  It’s super high in protein and very yummy. The kids absolutely love it.  It makes wonderful veggies patties, veggie stir fries, and there are so many ways to use Quinoa, it’s amazing.

So with the three year mark coming up I found the article I wrote for the, Treating Yourself magazine featuring a nine page spread of Cashy’s story.  This was the VERY first piece of writing I had ever done…Very first.  You can see where I obviously was a beginner at this writing thing when reading it, but it talks about the D-Day, and the surgery, chemotherapy and septic shock that Cashy went through.   Sorry, but this article is super long!!!

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On May 3rd, 2010 after 10 weeks of weekly trips to the pediatrician’s office, we were told once again that our beautiful son Cash just had a simple case of Mononucleosis and to let him rest and give him Tylenol and Ibuprofen for his reoccurring fevers. He was sleeping 18 hours a day and vomiting in the morning and at night, and in the last week his left eye started drifting and drooping. This had gone on too long, it felt like our son was dying in our arms and there was nothing we could do about it. 

After taking Cashy to his pediatrician and being told the same thing again, we left the pediatricians office and we met my mom for a quick bite to eat. Cash had taken a bite of some macaroni and cheese and instantly threw up. I heard someone in the restaurant say under their breath, “That baby is sick!” I told my mom that I was going to leave and take him to the emergency room at Community Medical Center (Where I work as a Registered Nurse). I said to my mom, ironically, “Well, I don’t think it’s a brain tumor or anything.” Little did we know we’d be hearing the words no parent would ever want to hear.

Cash and I arrived at the Emergency room and we were quickly seen by the triage nurse who was extremely concerned with Cash’s lethargy, and weakness. I told her that he’s been like this for 2 months now, and his doctor keeps telling us the same thing, it’s MONO.  I told her it’s time for a second opinion.  

We were taken back to a room where we were seen by the doctor right away. Even the doctor was a little skeptical on my need to come to the ER. She told me that my pediatrician was a great doctor and that we should trust her. I told her that we just needed a second opinion and that this has gone on too long. Reluctantly she says, “Well, I’m going to order a CT scan of his brain then.” I said, “Ok, let’s do it.” Not thinking the worse at this time.  

After the scan, the radiology tech (which happened to be my mom’s neighbor) told us that the scan looked good and nothing was abnormal. We felt relieved. 

We continued to wait in this small room and now all of our family has arrived (both grandma’s, and Grandpa Jim), when finally, after a light knock on the door the doctor appeared.  While taking slow, deliberate steps she entered the room. Her face was serious, but her eyes were full of compassion and regret.

Our 22-month old son was lying across my lap like a wet, limp rag. His energy was gone and his light was fading. He was no longer the playful, spirited child he had once been. All she said was, “I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry.” We were like “WHAT?” Then she said it again, “I’m so sorry, your son has a 4.5 centimeter mass in his brain.” 

Time stopped at that exact moment. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t cry, I couldn’t even talk. I was blown away, and scared to death for our sweet baby boy. As the doctor left the room, we sat in silence. Our lives were on the verge of chaos and there were no words. We were in shock and barely able to process what had just been revealed. We looked at Cash, he had no idea the magnitude of this discovery, but we knew he would soon suffer its consequences. 

“Your child has a mass in his brain.” That sequence of words changed everything. We were utterly terrified. That was one of the worst days of our lives. It felt like a death sentence. Two long hours later, Cash and I were life flighted on a fixed wing plane to Salt Lake City, UT heading to Primary Children’s Hospital. This was THE scariest airplane ride I’ve ever been on. There was extreme turbulence and I wasn’t able to sit next to Cash. Cashy was at the front of the plane and I had to sit in back. 

There were so many emotions running through my head. I felt so alone, and scared. 

Why did this happen to our baby, why Cashy? Why Us? That’s all I could think about. 

Cash and I arrived at the Salt Lake City airport two hours later. We were driven by ambulance to Primary Children’s Hospital and taken to the Emergency room where we were greeted by Mike’s family, his uncles, his aunt and cousin. Thank God they were there, I needed somebody. 

Mike and our six year old son Colten drove down in record timing. I can only imagine what was running through Mike’s head while driving the 8 long hours to Salt Lake City.  I wish he had been with us on the plane, but due to weight limitations only one parent could go.

We were later transferred to the Neuro-trauma Unit, where they would decide the next plan of action. We were told that this could be a few different types of cancers, due to positioning of the tumor, (In the back of my mind for some reason I thought possibly it could be benign, just wishful thinking I guess), but they wouldn’t know for sure as to what type of treatment protocol we would need to take until they did a craniotomy and biopsy of the tumor. 

His tumor was wrapped around his optic nerves and intertwined with his hypothalamus and his pituitary gland.  So removing the tumor was going to be a risky job; risks for blindness, paralysis, and even death from blood loss. 

May 5th, 2010 was the longest day of our lives, waiting and waiting for updates from the doctors while our little Cashy was being operated on. 4 hours later the brain surgeon pulled us into a small waiting room and told us that they were only able to remove approximately 10% of the tumor due to its location and how it was wrapped around vital blood vessels and his optic nerves, and that his tumor was part of the blue cell tumor group, but we wouldn’t know more until pathology had a chance to look at it.  Only 10 %, not the news we were hoping for.

We had to wait 6 days to find out if the tumor was even cancer and what type it was. That Monday evening after anxiously awaiting the oncologist’s news, we were taken to another small room where we were told the tumor was in fact cancer and its name was PNET, primitive neuro-ectodermal tumor, it was extremely aggressive and malignant. Those words should never ever be used in the same sentence with child and brain. We were devastated. 

We were told Cashy would need to undergo three rounds of standard chemotherapy, and then three rounds of high dose chemotherapy with 3 stem cell transplants, and possibly radiation and another surgery. 

After the surgery Cash was completely blind for 6 weeks. He was so scared, he wouldn’t even let Mike or I get out of the bed to take a shower, go to the bathroom or even eat, and we would have to sneak out of the room so he wouldn’t know we left.  He would pat on the bed with his arm for Mike and me to lie down beside him. 

His speech and language skills took a major downward spiral two months prior to his diagnosis. It broke my heart seeing him laying in the hospital bed, blind, a bloody scar on his head with stitches, and fear of the unknown.           

As I would walk through the halls of this huge hospital, I would selfishly look at other little boys Cashy’s age and ask myself and God, why Cash? Why not one of these children, why our baby, I never got an answer. 

Cash started his first round of chemotherapy on May 21st, 2010 after having a Central line and a G-tube placed a few days earlier.  

He had his first doses of the drugs and did ok until nine o’clock that night when Cashy had a major seizure where he coded and needed resuscitation. 

The seizure was from extremely low sodium levels in his blood. He was left in full posturing (where his arms and legs were sticking out straight and stiff and his back was arched, the most awful thing to see your child go through). That lasted 10 hours in the PICU. 

They took Cash for a MRI scan of the brain and found that his tumor had grown past the biopsy and larger to 4.7cm, in just a week and a half. Terrible news. 

Cash finished up round 1 of chemotherapy in the PICU, we were then transferred back to the oncology floor until we were able to head home for a week break. Cash finished up round two of chemotherapy with a bacterial infection in his blood, transferring us to PICU again, but just for 2 days until his infection cleared up. Another code blue episode later, from a little overdose of Fentanyl and versed from his central line removal (the source of the bacterial infection). 

Cash celebrated his 2nd birthday in the hospital, still blind, but happy and there was a little glimpse of that boy we once knew and which we yearned so deeply to see again. Over time, Cashy’s complex treatment schedule became our new norm.

We cherished each day and celebrated the small victories. We took nothing for granted, which included the support and love we received from so many. There is nothing good about cancer. However, it does have the uncanny ability to bring people together-people whose paths, under normal circumstances, would never have crossed. Of course, our family and friends were on the front line offering assistance, but it was the kindness from strangers-those who would later become friends-that moved us even more. Growing up we were told it is better to give than to receive, but I have learned there is a time and place for both. Those giving walked away with the same big smile and hearts full of joy as they had granted us.

After Cashy’s third round of chemotherapy, he had a MRI scan to see what was going on in that brain of his. By the grace of God Cashy regained his vision slowly, it was simply a miracle. We thought our boy was going to be blind forever. Cash had his MRI on a Friday and we had to wait until Monday to get the results. We had our camper parked out in the parking lot so Mike and I could take breaks and get some rest once in a while (rest, yeah right, what’s that??).

So that morning Mike was sleeping in camper after a long exhausting night up with Cashy; vomiting, diaper changes, IV’s beeping, nurses walking in and out, and Cashy crying for water. I was in the room with Cashy when the oncologist came into the room to deliver the news of the MRI, I can’t quite remember the words she said, but overall she told me that Cashy’s 4.7cm mass that took over his brain was completely gone, but he had little remnants of cancer cells at the base of the skull where the tumor was eroding the skull, but the mass was completely gone!!  

I hugged the doctor and told all the nurses, it was seriously the best news we’ve had during this whole journey. So I hurried and called Mike, but he didn’t answer, So I had one of the nurses sit with Cashy and I ran down to the camper to deliver the good news.  The large mass was miraculously gone but the remaining cancer reminded us that we still had a long road ahead of us for a complete recovery.

We were elated, excited, overjoyed, every positive word you can think of, that was us! We were on cloud nine, calling everyone and everybody we knew!! Cash then started his high dose chemotherapy with stem cell transplants on August 18th, 2010.  The first round went very well, besides the vomiting.  Cashy was out of hospital in 12 days after receiving high dose chemotherapy and a stem cell transplant! We couldn’t go home to Montana though; we had to stay local in case something was to happen.

His second round of high dose chemotherapy went alright with a few minor ups and downs, extreme nausea and vomiting, chills, peeling of the skin and diaper area (leaving a severe diaper rash), and fluid on the lungs requiring him to need oxygen support.  The doctors explained to us whatever is happening on the outside of his body, it was also happening on the inside of his body…which wasn’t good.

He was then placed on TPN and Lipids as his main source of nutrition due to the inability to keep down his tube feedings.  During this second round of high dose chemo, Cash was so incredibly sick and weak; Mike and I finally had enough of watching Cashy suffer and took matters into our own hands. Cash had received his medical marijuana card a few months earlier, so Mike went about learning the safest way possible to make Cannabis Oil for Cashy, and proceeded to make a batch.

After a few doses of the Cannabis Oil, our son transformed.  He was able to take bites of food (which he hadn’t done in over 40 days), he was able to sit up and play, laugh, and enjoy a quality of life that he wasn’t getting from the pharmaceutical drugs they were administered to him as a “nausea cocktail.” We were so thrilled with his progress; we continued to give him the cannabis oil through his G-tube. He went from throwing up 10 times a day to maybe 2 or 3. It was a miracle drug. 

The person that kept Mike and I going strong and kept us from going into a slump of depression from the circumstances, was our six year old son Colten John.  He is an amazing little boy full of energy and spunk and never skips a beat.  He was our rock, our most solid thing we had to keep us alive and striving for Cashy’s healing.

Cash went into his third and final stem cell transplant with high dose chemo eating, walking with a little assistance, laughing, his nausea was controlled and he wasn’t in pain.  He got through the last round of two days of medications and every 8 hour had baths, (to wash off the chemo that can seep through the pores and burn the skin). Then on Day 9 post stem cell transplant, Cashy developed a bacterial infection in his blood while still immune-compromised (extremely dangerous). Cashy immediately became very sick, struggling to breath and was transferred to the PICU. 

The next morning Cash became even sicker and was really having difficulty breathing so doctors opted to place him on a ventilator to support his lungs. After another code blue episode and watching them struggle to incubate him, He blew up like a balloon with all of the fluids they were giving him to try and increase his blood pressure. Nothing was working, and his condition was worsening. At one point, Cash had 13 IV pumps flowing medication into his body to keep him alive. He had 4 code blue episodes, which required full resuscitation.

After he was on the vent for two weeks they told us that he developed a rare condition as a side effect of the stem cell transplant, it was called Diffuse Alveolar Hemorrhage (severe bleeding in the lungs).

He was then placed on an oscillator (after another code blue episode, and the bleeding was worsening). The doctor came to us with terrible news that she thought Cashy’s tumor has spread to his brainstem; she called this micro-invasion of the tumor. We were scared to death, they said if that was the case there was nothing they could do and the only way to find out was to do a MRI. 

They took Cashy for his MRI after coding again and needed CPR through the whole scan, they came back to tell us the news that there was no micro-invasion of the tumor and the CANCER was completely gone, but that Cashy had suffered a minor stroke. 

Relieved that the cancer was gone, we still had this huge obstacle to overcome; the collapsed bleeding lungs.

Things were getting bad really fast. The doctors told us it was very unlikely that he would make it, and they asked us about 6 times if we wanted to continue resuscitation efforts in the event of another code blue. We told them to continue to do everything they can until all efforts are lost. We brought in a Catholic priest that day and Cashy was baptized with all our family around for support. It was a very emotional service. After everything little Cashy and our family went through, how could God let us lose him now??  It wasn’t fair; I had my first actual “breakdown” that day.  I’m usually a very strong person who doesn’t display emotion easily.   

But there was no hiding my emotions now, my baby was dying. For 6 weeks we watched the roller-coaster of a monitor screen of his vital signs 24 hours a day/ 7 days a week. No TV ever played, just Michael Franti and Bob Marley on the IPod, it kept us semi sane. His blood pressure would go up, his heart rate would go down, his blood pressure would go down, they would give him Epinephrine for it to go back up. It was a vigorous process of ups and downs. Cash had two nurses at all times. He was a busy patient. Those nurses are amazing. After four weeks on the oscillator the doctors told us he was at a “plateau of sickness,” and that if there is any hope of him surviving we would have to wean him off of the oscillator and put him back on the regular ventilator. 

This was a stressful process that even the doctors were skeptical to try. They told us Cashy would probably need a trachtube placed and he would most likely be on the ventilator for months due to the extent of lung damage he had.

Well after 5 days, yes 5 days, Cash was extubated (breathing tube removed) and he was breathing on his own with a small amount of oxygen. How did this happen??? It was a miracle. And that’s exactly what the doctors said, he was our Christmas miracle! Our goal was to be out of PICU and back to the oncology floor by Christmas 2010, but Cashy was out of hospital and back at great grandma’s house by December 17th!!!

Once again a miracle!! Cash spent Christmas with our family in Salt Lake City.  The best Christmas present any parent could ever receive. We were finally able to leave Salt Lake City after Cashy’s 100 day post bone marrow transplant workup and MRI scans of brain and spine, then head back home to Missoula, Montana on January 31th, 2011 after 10 long months in a strange city.  Cashy continues to be cancer free, and we count our blessings every day for the second chance we get with our amazing son Cash, “The boy of Steel.”

It felt bittersweet, like it was too good to be true, BUT it was true! To finally be able to bring our baby home to his room and toys and to sleep in our own bed after 10 months of hospital chair beds, was beyond amazing. We would have never chosen to be a part of this journey with childhood cancer, but it was chosen for us and our sweet baby boy Cashy. The battle is never gone, never unnoticed, or completely absent from our thoughts, and obviously never lacking from our prayers. Sometimes it is the simple things that serve as the greatest encouragement during this fight.  

At times it’s hard to look back over the past year. And yet there are days I find extreme comfort looking back and seeing God’s faithfulness amidst our own nightmare. 

If cancer has ever touched your life or the life of someone you know. I don’t have to tell you how devastating it is. There are no words to describe watching cancer and chemotherapy take its effect on someone you love. Cashy survived septic shock, stroke, pulmonary hemorrhage, pulmonary hypertension, all side effects of the chemotherapy and bone marrow transplants he had received.

We were told after his 4^th cardiac arrest episode he would have brain damage, organ failure and that he would ultimately die. However, he did not die, and it was because of the cannabinoid therapeutics that he was receiving and their known antioxidant and neuro-protectant capabilities. Many say cannabis has anti-tumor effects and could possibly be the cure to cancer.

We were very fortunate to have the support of friends and family through Cashy’s incredible journey and would not have been able to battle cancer with Cashy without all of the financial and emotional support we received. Along the way we came across families that were not so fortunate and we were able to help them because we had so much support. That’s when we decided to start the Cash Hyde Foundation to continue fighting pediatric cancer and assisting families in need. 

The fact is, in one way or another, cancer may affect us all. That’s why it is up to all of us to play a part in fighting cancer during our lifetime.  Cashy’s journey has given us all the opportunity to unite, with the same common goal, helping children fight cancer.

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Well there it is, my first piece of writing I had ever done, and it was published.  Now looking at if I would have totally gone about it a different way, but hey for my first writing, it wasn’t too bad.  

Well I must get going, I hope you all enjoyed this post.  It’s a long one.  

I want to thank those who wrote response comments to my post the other day. It helps. It helps a lot. Sometimes just knowing that someone is listening, or reading, it really helps a great deal. I can feel the love and positive thoughts and I look forward to many more comments.

I want all of you to know that I appreciate you.

I think it is important to note that my experiences and my PTSD (I’ve diagnosed myself, lol) are unique to me. However, I do want to mention that life after the death of a child to pediatric cancer is still very much a part of pediatric cancer.  It is a reality.  It does not go away when your child dies. It’s not just fighting for a diagnosis, getting a diagnosis, chemotherapy, radiation and surgery and countless hours crying and countless hours of emergency calls to the doctor, as well as countless hours of hospital stays and staying awake making sure your child is doing ok. Oh, did I mention the countless hours worrying where money is going to come from to pay for gas, food and a mortgage (over 60% of families diagnosed with pediatric cancer file bankruptcy).

There are so many facets to this that only a parent/caregiver of a child with pediatric cancer can know them all.  I hope none of you ever have to know.

Cashy, I hope you are warm, safe and happy.  I miss you so much.  My heart longs for your touch and to hear your sweet voice.  I love you buddy.  I’m long overdue for a dream of you my sweet boy.  Please come to me soon!

To learn more about or to help out the Cash Hyde Foundation, please visit www.CashHydeFoundation.com or to follow Cashy’s Battle Blog.

UnitedPatientsGroup.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight pediatric cancer! Thank you for your support!

UnitedPatientsGroup and The Cash Hyde Foundation:

• Our Journey has brought us some amazing stories…

• Doobons.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight Pediatric Cancer

• Medical Cannabis Resource Site Doobons.com Helps the Cash Hyde Foundation Spread Smiles

• Doobons.com Sends Out Plea for Cannabis Oil Donations for Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Victim Cash Hyde

• Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Patient Latest Casualty of Medical Marijuana Crackdown

• United Patients Group Spearheads Cash Hyde Foundation Medical Marijuana Reform Movement
• Pediatric Cancer Mom Turns Her Pain into Purpose with Aid of United Patients Group

Depression affect millions of people every year. Some people have chronic depression and need psychiatric treatment, but commonly, something in life can set off depression. Loss of a loved one, a job, a relationship, medical problems, a side effect of medication or even the weather can set off depression.

If you feel your depression is so bad that you want to harm yourself or others, you need to get some immediate help. Do a search for suicide hotlines and/or contact your local hospital.

Natural Supplements for Depression

Here is a list of natural treatments for depression:

St. John’s Wort – It’s an herb used to treat mild to moderate depression. It may cancel out any oral contraceptives.

Omega-3 Fatty Acids – These are great for brain function. They are commonly found in fish, but can also be taken as a supplement. They are highly recommended for everyone.

Sam-e – A natural chemical in the body that increases dopamine levels.

5-HTP – Produced naturally in the body, it is used to make serotonin. It can also be a powerful appetite suppressant, so it’s not recommended for people who have trouble eating.

Diet - Eating happier, colorful foods like fruits and vegetables, eating foods loaded with B-complex vitamins can increase zapped energy levels.

Exercise – Gets you in shape and effectively elevates mood, while releasing stress.

Water – Drinking lots of water flushes out toxins, elevates energy, and helps counteract the mental negatives of depression like lack of focus, remembering details and other symptoms.

Eucalyptus essential oil – A highly versatile essential oil, it is a stimulant that protects against illness and can even counteract the blues of prolonged illness. It can also be used as an anti-inflammatory to help with chronic pain, who frequently experience depression. It can be released into the air and inhaled for maximum effect.

Extracting the Most Out of Eucalyptus Essential Oil

There are ways to get the most out of Eucalyptus essential oil. Did you know you can completely customize the taste, fragrance and healing properties of Eucalyptus essential oil? The process is called vaporization. It is the best way to use Eucalyptus essential oil’s active ingredients because unlike burning, it does not release harmful chemicals in the air. You can actually purchase a digital vaporizer, portable or non-portable, and set the device to your personal preferences. You can purchase high quality Eucalyptus essential oil along with your digital vaporizer in one place by Vapir. Check out the products produced by Vapir and get the most out of your Eucalyptus essential oil.

Like my clocks, I don’t have a 4:20 face. Of course, what does that even mean? A 4:20 face. Does that mean I look like Bob Marley with his flowing dreads and magical smile? Or, do I have jailhouse tattoos and piercings all over my body? How about this. Do I secretly rendezvous with a dealer in my cheap skirt and heels during lunch hour? There’s a popular Dove soap commercial floating around the Internet at the moment that illustrates how distorted images can be based upon bias. Fox News is unlikely to highlight the same stories coming out of Denver this weekend at the High Times Cannabis Cup as, say, Steve Elliot at Toke of the Town. Different viewpoint, different face.

Though cannabis consumes most of my waking hours as a volunteer with Aunt Zelda’s, when I’m at the grocer, you’d look right passed me on a good day. Without ingesting cannabis each day, I would have very few hours to be functional. I don’t look like the ‘face’ of the 420 movement. More like a yoga pant wearing, Prius driving former techie baby boomer. Yet, I am. So are you. So is everyone who has an endocannabinoid system in their body.

A member of Aunt Zelda’s received the best possible news yesterday. His MRI scans are clear. The glioblastoma that the oncologists warned him a year ago would claim his life by now, is still nowhere to be seen. We celebrated with dinner down in Cupertino at a steakhouse. Along with my simply prepared meal, I ate some of the table’s fried onion rings, and even had a Cadbury’s Fruit & Nut bar when I got home. Oh, and a bite of my husband’s banana cream pie with whipped creme.

When I awoke this morning, the first thought I had was, “God, please kill me. Anything but nausea”. After I returned to the bedroom, I ran through my head trying for the life of me to figure out WHAT had made me so sick. I’d had grilled, chicken (no sauce), steamed veggies, and a plain baked potato with sour cream. This is a lot of food for me, but not terrible. It must be food poisoning. I even called a volunteer RN. Then I remembered..

I have gallbladder disease. It had been so long since it had bothered me because of daily cannabis infused olive oil, combined with my healthy diet, that I’ve been symptom-free for over a year. I had forgotten to even include it in my checklist when I was troubleshooting. I heard hooves, and went looking for zebras. This time it was just an old nag.

A well stocked cannabis medicine cabinet has the following, and mine is no exception: an infused oil tincture of 1. high CBD, 2. high THC that doesn’t make you paranoid or uncomfortable (we’ve gotten fairly accurate at identifying which ones are which), and 3. A Mason jar (sealed tight) of raw flowers with high THC:CBD ratio. These should all be tested by a recognized lab to ensure quality, and to understand the cannabinoid and terpene profile of each medicine.

Once I had identified the source, it was just a matter of choosing a strain from what I keep on hand. In my case, Cannatonic (high CBD) infused olive oil, and William’s Wonder (high THC and Myrcene) infused olive oil. As a bonus, I also had on hand our infused coconut oil topical, which is filled with fabulous essential oils, like frankincense, rosemary, arnica, and lemongrass, to name a few.

I placed a dab of the topical under my nose, and immediately my nausea decreased considerably. A dropper of Cannatonic and WW each, had me feeling 75 percent better within an hour. While looking for something to eat during this time, hoping to hurry it along, I found a can of olives in the pantry, and ate several. A first, but it felt right, and it worked.

While all this was transpiring, several people were in need of cannabis and its miraculous medicine. A woman whose brother-in-law has metastatic skin cancer to the liver and bone called asking how she could get the extract for him. Another reached out from the East Coast to let me know how she dreams of one day having access to Aunt Zelda’s like we do in CA. Her pain can’t wait for the politics to open the first dispensary. Many others. It was a day that required many faces. However wearing the face of a cannabis patient, was número uno.

So, like my clocks, I have many 420 faces – Patient, advocate, caregiver, medicine maker. And today, on 4/20, I was diagnostician, chemist, patient, and volunteer in the life of someone because of cannabis. I’d say that’s worth celebrating. #PPP

Find out more about Aunt Zelda’s Oils

I came across this poem and absolutely fell in love with it, so I had to share it with everyone who helped Cashy on his Journey, from friends, family, to perfect strangers.  Cashy has touched the lives of many in his short journey on this earth.  

The Brave Little Soul
By: John Alessi

Not too long ago in Heaven there was a little soul who took wonder in observing the world. He especially enjoyed the love he saw there and often expressed this joy with God. One day however the little soul was sad, for on this day he saw suffering in the world. He approached God and sadly asked, “Why do bad things happen; why is there suffering in the world?” God paused for a moment and replied, “Little soul, do not be sad, for the suffering you see, unlocks the love in people’s hearts.” The little soul was confused. “What do you mean,” he asked. God replied, “Have you not noticed the goodness and love that is the offspring of that suffering? Look at how people come together, drop their differences and show their love and compassion for those who suffer. All their other motivations disappear and they become motivated by love alone.” The little soul began to understand and listened attentively as God continued, “The suffering soul unlocks the love in people’s hearts much like the sun and the rain unlock the flower within the seed. I created everyone with endless love in their heart, but unfortunately most people keep it locked up and hardly share it with anyone. They are afraid to let their love shine freely, because they are afraid of being hurt. But a suffering soul unlocks that love. I tell you this – it is the greatest miracle of all. Many souls have bravely chosen to go into the world and suffer – to unlock this love – to create this miracle for the good of all humanity.”

Just then the little soul got a wonderful idea and could hardly contain himself. With his wings fluttering, bouncing up and down, the little soul excitedly replied. “I am brave; let me go! I would like to go into the world and suffer so that I can unlock the goodness and love in people’s hearts! I want to create that miracle!” God smiled and said, “You are a brave soul I know, and thus I will grant your request. But even though you are very brave you will not be able to do this alone. I have known since the beginning of time that you would ask for this and so I have carefully selected many souls to care for you on your journey. Those souls will help you create your miracle; however they will also share in your suffering. Two of these souls are most special and will care for you, help you and suffer along with you, far beyond the others. They have already chosen a name for you”. God and the brave soul shared a smile, and then embraced.

In parting, God said, “Do not forget little soul that I will be with you always. Although you have agreed to bear the pain, you will do so through my strength. And if the time should come when you feel that you have suffered enough, just say the word, think the thought, and you will be healed.” Thus at that moment the brave little soul was born into the world, and through his suffering and God’s strength, he unlocked the goodness and love in people’s hearts. For so many people dropped their differences and came together to show their love. Priorities became properly aligned. People gave from their hearts. Those that were always too busy found time. Many began new spiritual journeys, some regained lost faith – many came back to God. Parents hugged their children tighter. Friends and family grew closer. Old friends got together and new friendships were made. Distant family reunited, and every family spent more time together. Everyone prayed. Peace and love reigned. Lives changed forever. It was good. The world was a better place. The miracle had happened. God was pleased.

To learn more about or to help out the Cash Hyde Foundation, please visit www.CashHydeFoundation.com or to follow Cashy’s Battle Blog.

UnitedPatientsGroup.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight pediatric cancer! Thank you for your support!

UnitedPatientsGroup and The Cash Hyde Foundation:

• Our Journey has brought us some amazing stories…

• Doobons.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight Pediatric Cancer

• Medical Cannabis Resource Site Doobons.com Helps the Cash Hyde Foundation Spread Smiles

• Doobons.com Sends Out Plea for Cannabis Oil Donations for Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Victim Cash Hyde

• Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Patient Latest Casualty of Medical Marijuana Crackdown

• United Patients Group Spearheads Cash Hyde Foundation Medical Marijuana Reform Movement
• Pediatric Cancer Mom Turns Her Pain into Purpose with Aid of United Patients Group

Humans have been smoking marijuana for nearly 5,000 years and it has been used to treat a whole range of different ailments and illnesses. Ancient Chinese texts listed more than 100 ailments, in fact, and because this list includes the treatment of symptoms like nausea, lost appetite, headaches, and various forms of pain, it can be used to manage many ailments. Having been legalized in 18 states in the USA for medical use, marijuana certainly has many potential uses and benefits, but what exactly does it do to the brain when it’s smoked?

The Discovery of Cannabinoid Receptors

Until the 1980s it was believed that cannabinoids reacted with random or non-specific receptors and membrane in the brain. However, in 1990, scientists discovered cannabinoid receptors. Specifically there are known to be two primary types, CB1 and CB2 receptors and it looks highly likely that there are others too. CB1 protein is found in the brain while CB2 protein is found in the immune system and throughout the body.

Feeling Good

The feel good factor that is enjoyed when smoking marijuana occurs because dopamine is released in the brain. This is a part of the brain’s reward system and over stimulation can lead to a feeling of euphoria as well as simply feeling good.

The Munchies

The munchies are a well reported and well known side effect of smoking cannabis and this is one reason that cannabis has proven so effective in the fight against diseases like cancer and HIV where patients may lose their appetite. CB1 receptors are found in the hypothalamus, which is the area of the brain that regulates appetite. Typically, your body will produce cannabinoids that tell your body that you are hungry, but if this isn’t occurring then the introduction of cannabinoids from marijuana will create this same desire to eat.

Memory

CB1 receptors are also present in the hippocampus, which is associated with short term memory. The ingestion of THC shuts down some of the neurotransmitters in the brain and this not only makes memory recall more difficult but it means that the brain struggles to remember things as easily in the first place.

Legalization

These are some of the reasons that cannabis has been legalized, so far, in 18 states in the USA. What’s more, it has also become legal for recreational use in 2 states, Washington and Colorado. In Colorado there is even a private smoking club where it is legal to smoke weed although still not legal to buy or sell.

Cannabinoid Receptors and Their Effects

The existence of cannabinoid receptors throughout the body mean that there are many other potential effects as well as those listed above. Anti-inflammatory properties and the drug’s ability to reduce ocular pressure in the eye are just some of the additional benefits. As legalization continues in various countries around the world it seems likely that an increasing body of support for the legalization of cannabis will continue. Make no mistake; this will be tempered by an equally fervent group protesting against the legalization movement.

Worldwide Marijuana Seeds has an extensive catalog of marijuana seeds for sale, including powerful and potent medical strains.

It is said that when a parent dies you lose your past, but when a child dies, you lose your future. I think this is especially true when a baby or young child passes. With the death of a child, the grieving is more for the future they have lost, rather than for your own. The absence of Cashy’s physical presence in our lives is palpable. But on occasion I am fortunate enough to sense him nearby, only a breathe away. In trying to understand why life that is so lovingly given to each of us, it is at times so cruelly taken away. I often asked questions that cannot be answered, at least not answered in this lifetime. When I stop asking for a minute and start listening, I have begun to see. It’s not about finding answers, it’s about having faith, faith in the Divine, the afterlife, belief in the One love. Faith comes first, then understanding and hope follow. Even so, nearly a half a year later, we still struggle to accept that Cashy’s not resting in bed in the other room or in his spot on the couch, or in his car seat in the back of the car, he won’t be there. Cashy’s not here to share his silliness, his wisdom, his enthusiasm, his energy or his light. Or is he?

My resolve is to take a leap of faith, believing without benefit of proof and learning to see with my soul and listen with my heart. So, I talk to Cashy and he hears, I smile at Cashy’s pictures and he sees, I believe in Cashy and he knows.

Here’s a nice quote I found on “faith.”

“Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe. It is not enough that a thing be possible for it to be believed.” – Voltaire

Will I ever feel or be normal again? I don’t even know what normal is anymore. Our lives have been such chaos since may 2010, I don’t know what’s coming or going. What is normal for a family who’s lost a child to cancer? Well normal is not sleeping very well because a thousand what if’s & why didn’t go through your head constantly. Normal is having the TV or pandora radio on the minute you walk into the house to have noise, because the silence is deafening. Normal is staring at every boy who looks like he is Cashy’s age, and then thinking of the age he would be now and how he would look before cancer and now at nearly 5 years old. Then wondering why it is even important to imagine it, because it will never happen.

Normal is every happy event in your life always being backed up with sadness lurking close behind, because of the hole in your heart. Normal is telling the story of your child’s death as if it were an everyday, commonplace activity, and then seeing the horror in someone’s eyes at how awful it sounds. And yet realizing it has become a part of your “normal.”

Normal is each holiday coming up with the difficult task of how to honor your child’s memory and how to survive those days. And trying to find the balloon or matchbox car that fits the occasion. Merry Christmas? Well, Not really.

Normal is my heart warming and yet sinking at the sight of something special Cashy loved. Thinking of how he would of loved it, but how he is not here to enjoy it. Normal is having some people afraid to mention Cashy, which is often the case. Nobody seems to want to hit the topic, so I do it to break the ice. Normal is making sure that others remember him.

Normal is after the funeral is over everyone else goes on with their lives after the drama and the sadness, but WE continue to grieve our loss forever. Normal is days, weeks, months after the initial shock, the grieving gets worse, not better.

Normal is not listening to people compare anything in their life to this loss, unless they too have lost a child. Nothing compares. NOTHING. Not even your cat that died of cancer. Even if your child is in the remotest part of the earth away from you – it doesn’t compare.

Normal is realizing you do cry everyday. Normal is wondering this time whether you are going to say you have two children or three children, because you will never see this person again and it is not worth explaining that Cashy is dead. And yet when you say you have two living children to avoid that problem, you feel horrible as if you have betrayed the dead child.

Normal is learning to lie to everyone you meet and telling them you are fine. You lie because it makes others uncomfortable if you cry. You’ve learned it’s easier to lie to them then to tell them the truth that you still feel empty and it’s probably never going to get any better — ever. Normal is hiding all the things that have become “normal” for you to feel, so that everyone around you will think that you are “normal.”

So really what is normal? I don’t know anymore. Nothing seems normal without Cashy.

I laid awake in bed yesterday while trying to take a little nap before work. The most amazing thing happened. I was laying on my side breast feeding Sissy and holding her hand. At that exact moment, my hand holding her little delicate hand felt like Cashy’s hand in mine. I closed my eyes tightly and gasped, “Cashy,” and I held on tightly to her hand. It felt just like his little hand did, I had these overwhelming feelings shoot through me and tears just rolled down my eyes. I really felt his presence and it was so special. Goosebumps rolled up and down my body and I tightened my grip on Sissy’s hand. I knew at that moment it was Cashy, letting me feel his warmth and his everlasting presence in the spiritual world. This made me smile and cry at the same time. Oh how I miss our snuggles and cuddles and his silly demeanor and goofiness.

Cashy keep your daddy safe on his trip this weekend. I know you will be with him wherever he goes. I hope your happy and safe. I miss you more than you’ll ever know. To infinity and beyond buddy, to infinity and beyond.
Love, your momma.

To learn more about or to help out the Cash Hyde Foundation, please visitwww.CashHydeFoundation.com or to follow Cashy’s Battle Blog.

UnitedPatientsGroup.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight pediatric cancer! Thank you for your support!

UnitedPatientsGroup and The Cash Hyde Foundation:

• Our Journey has brought us some amazing stories…

• Doobons.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight Pediatric Cancer

• Medical Cannabis Resource Site Doobons.com Helps the Cash Hyde Foundation Spread Smiles

• Doobons.com Sends Out Plea for Cannabis Oil Donations for Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Victim Cash Hyde

• Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Patient Latest Casualty of Medical Marijuana Crackdown

• United Patients Group Spearheads Cash Hyde Foundation Medical Marijuana Reform Movement
• Pediatric Cancer Mom Turns Her Pain into Purpose with Aid of United Patients Group

It is estimated that half a million Americans lose their lives to cancer, and three times that are diagnosed with the devastating illness. The number of annual cancer deaths continues to drop, but the establishment of this month is a good reminder that more can be done to prevent, detect and treat cancer. Thus, in observance of National Cancer Control Month, United Patients Group will examine the effectiveness of cannabis-based cancer therapy and how federal laws deny this to those in need of it.

In his 2013 Presidential Proclamation, President Obama shared his re-commitment to “progress toward effective cancer control” and that cancer research has made significant advances for patients, but why is it that marijuana is misclassified on the drug schedule as a Schedule 1 substance?

Schedule 1 substances are defined as possessing the following characteristics:

A.    The drug or other substance has a high potential for abuse.

B.    The drug or other substance has no currently accepted medical use in treatment in the United States.

C.    There is a lack of accepted safety for use of the drug or other substance under medical supervision.

Within the last year, studies from the scientific community have found that naturally-occurring compounds in cannabis are effective in cancer cell destruction, tumor control, and healthy cell protection. In October, a scientific pair from the California Pacific Medical Center Research Institute discovered that cannabidiol, a compound derived from marijuana, can help stop the growth of aggressive brain, breast, and prostate cancer cells. And more recently, the National Cancer Institute (NCI) also shared similar thought in that “cannabinoids may cause anti-tumor effects by various mechanisms”.

With reports like these, and with real-life examples of cancer patients like Cash Hyde, who beat cancer into remission twice while using cannabis-based medicine, there is no doubt that marijuana continues to prove its worth in the medicinal world. Now is the time to challenge the presidential administration’s efforts to control cancer and ask: How will they tackle such a promise, and why do they continue to ignore the demonstrated medical benefits of cannabis in treating cancer patients?

Leave your thoughts below.

Cashy,

Wow, it’s been a very busy past couple weeks since I’ve last written.  We took a much needed trip to Salt Lake City.

This was our first trip (besides when we went down to bury you) as a family without you physically with us.  How awful of a feeling it is to be going to the place where we took you every 3 months for check-ups and MRI’s.  We lived there in our camp trailer outside the hospital for 10 months, now we’re traveling without your sweet face.  Everything just seemed so wrong without your presence, your silly giggle, your rambunctious monkey self in the back seat (usually not in your car seat because you would just refuse sometimes, which we felt was alright for a bit because hell if your destiny was to wreck and die in a car accident, well as morbid as it is, at least it wouldn’t be the cancer killing you. I always kept my seat belt off if you did, mom you’re probably shaking your head) doing the Cashy fist pump to all the awesome songs you loved so much.

We arrived in SLC pretty late as we didn’t leave town until 2pm because I had to work the night before. I think I slept 2 1/2 hours. Ugh.  I got a double shot pumpkin spice latte on the way out of town and was wired the whole way!

The first thing we did the next day was to go and visit your grave site.  I never thought ever, even in your last few weeks of life, I never thought I would have to visit your grave.  I honestly never thought we would lose you.  We never once talked about a funeral, never once talked about if we would bury you or cremate you.  We were just so positive that you would beat that nasty tumor.  We had HOPE, we believed. We honestly did.   If you don’t have hope and belief in your heart, well what’s life worth living then? You taught me that Cashy.  You taught me so much in life.  You taught me how to live.  You taught me how to stay positive, how to not hold a grudge, how to forgive, how to trust in GOD, you taught me how to hang on to every ounce of faith and hope.  I miss you buddy.  Daddy misses you too.

So when we arrived at your grave, I instantly felt shaky and weak in the knees.  Your grave was completely bare as the cemetery grounds keeper had taken and cleaned up your grave.  Nothing was there besides your name stand.  I instantly was upset.  Nobody had come to visit you on Easter.  Everyone was under the weather and not feeling well.  This broke my heart. If you were buried in Missoula I would be there every day visiting you. It probably would be unhealthy, lol. Daddy said if you were in Missoula he would probably have his tipi set up at your grave and he would most likely never leave. Haha.

As I’m sure you know Daddy ordered a Tipi and it’s now set up in our new backyard. Well he’s taken it down and set it up three times now as he has to have it just perfect.  It’s beautiful though.  Colty and Sierra already had a sleep over and a campfire in it.  Your daddy is a big kid at heart.

So back to SLC. We left your gravesite, I didn’t cry until we got back into the car and had a rush of overwhelming emotion. I hate the face that you’re down there in the cold ground, 12 feet down.  It does make me feel better to know that you have your monkey jammies and your blankies with you.  I hope you’re playing with your Taggie.  You were so cute how we would always have to find the tag on your blankies so you could rub it between your fingers and on your cheeks.  You called it your “Taggie”.  I was so fast at finding the tag for you, I’d just turn the blankie and run my fingers along it, bam I’d find it and you’d be happy as a clam.  Man I miss snuggling up with you and your blankies.  You would always love snuggling with “mommy’s blankie” too.  I can picture and hear you saying it now, ”MOMMIES BLANKIE.”   God, sometimes I just watch your videos so I can hear your sweet voice.  I have this one video, it’s more of an audio shot because you hated the flash on the camera so I was just recording what you were saying.  You were saying “no pictures, no pictures, no pictures.”  You hated pictures those last couple months. You reminded me of Great Grandpa Buck on how you hated pictures.  He hated them so much he’d twist your fingers if you tried to get one.  I hope Grandma Gladys and Grandpa Buck are up there taking care of you.  You only got to meet Grandma once before she passed away and Grandpa Buck a few times.  I know they were with you on your whole journey and I know they kept you safe as long as they could.

So we left the grave site and immediately went to get stuff to decorate your grave.  I bought you some cars, some play-dough and some awesome Cars stickers, all your favorite things.  There were so many emotions running through me when I went into Target to get you these things.  I cried each time I found the things you loved.   I hadn’t bought cars, play-dough or stickers since before you passed.  It was so hard, but also felt so good to be able to buy little boy toys for you.  I just wish more than anything you were here to play with them.  Instead they just sit above your grave, until they become discolored and wet from the rain, then the grounds keeper will take it and throw it away again.  We got you an awesome sign with your picture and the ‘Cancer Militia’ logo.  It’s a weather proof sign, so it should last awhile.  Your headstone is actually being cut this week!!! We can’t wait to get back and have it set up and looking beautiful.  I think it will make it a lot easier to visit next time.

Saturday the foundation threw a car wash to help raise funds for the SLC chapter so they can order bracelets.  The Salt Lake chapter is in the process of building a healing center where parents from the oncology floor up at Primary can come and do yoga, get a massage or acupuncture, relax and just chill in a serene environment.  A place where they can forget about their worries and cares for a couple hours.  We’re all very excited about this.  Cashy’s Healing Center!  One day we aspire to build an actual healing center where children and their families with cancer can come and stay and be treated with cannabis oil, fresh organic juicing, organic meals high in alkaline, Gerson therapy, Alkalized water, physical therapy, cannabis therapy, mineral soaking…. Everything from nursing care to spiritual healing. One day Cash, One day! I know you will make this dream of ours come true in your honor.  Anyways back on track, the car wash (although it was freezing cold and we only did it for 4 hours) it raised nearly $700!  We were thrilled!  We had people holding signs up saying “honk if you hate cancer”.  We definitely got tons of honks and tons of random donations from people’s car windows as they were driving by and stopping at the light, it was awesome!

Sunday we had a family birthday party for baby Sissy at the Bada Bing.  Lots of family came for just throwing it together at the last minute.  Thanks everyone who came!!!  Can you believe your Sissy is one years old already???!!!  Makes me sad to think that you’ve been gone 5 months already, she has changed so much in those 5 months. You would be so proud of her.  Well, I know you are so proud of her.  You were the best big brother to her. You always loved giving her kisses and holding her.  Now she’s a wild one and doesn’t sit still for more than a few seconds.

We headed home Monday morning, making a stop at Lava Hot Springs where we soaked it up in a mineral hot springs.  Ahh it was so nice and as we soaked a hawk kept circling high up above us.  We knew it was you with us.  You always loved soaking in hot tubs.  It was good to know you were there with us on our way home, Making sure we made it home safe and sound.

Tuesday was Sissy’s actually 1st birthday.  We had a small party for her with just the family.  I didn’t feel like throwing a big party, my heart was in it, but I knew it would be so hard so I just kept it low key and had grandparents and a few friends. Sissy was so cute in her dress and hair bow.  Sometimes when I look at her I see you, I see you in her blue eyes, in her chubby cheeks and definitely in her little flat butt, I see you.  She reminds me so much of you it’s almost like God gave us her so we wouldn’t be torn into a million pieces on the outside or the inside.  My outside is presentable, but if you saw my insides, their definitely in such disarray that you’d think one could die from a heart broken into a million pieces. Is it possible? Death from a broken heart? If it is, I’d probably already be dead.  The only reason my heart is even beating right now is because of my two sweet babies left on this earth, and my ever so broken hearted husband, Your Daddy.  Daddy and I have had our differences throughout the years, but right now at this exact moment our love is so strong, bold, and connected through an energy that only you Cashy, could have left us with.   Last night we held each other close and cried ourselves to sleep thinking of your sweet voice, your innocent smile and how you should be nestled in between us like you had been since birth.

Daddy was the one who started with the tears last night, every night one of us is feeling your absence and it sparks the chain reaction of the immense feeling of loss we have without you.

Sissy is 1 year old. I still can’t believe it.  We never planned for your sister, she was a huge surprise.  I HAD an IUD in place that somehow went MIA, never to be found.  I swear who does that happen to…? If there’s a will there’s a way.  Right? Again that damn psychic.  Cashy, you were actually our only “planned” child.  We actually planned for you and tried a whole 4 weeks and bam, we were pregnant!  One would say we are some fertile myrtles.  But you were given to us for a reason, to better ourselves, to better our future, and to change the world buddy.  Which you’re doing, a little bit at a time.

I remember the day Sissy was born like it was yesterday.  My water broke as I stood up from the toilet after peeing.  Literally a giant gush of fluid, like they portray in the movies.  Gush, gush, gush.   You were propped up on the couch watching the Mickey Mouse Club house.   I hurried and called Daddy but he didn’t answer. I thought crap, I called again, still no answer.  So I called my mom and texted daddy that my water broke!   I hurried and took a shower and of course did my hair so I would look semi presentable.  I wasn’t contracting too badly yet so I figured I had some time.   Finally daddy arrived and he got you ready and we loaded in the van after I changed the 6th soaked towel from my underwear, it just kept gushing and gushing.  I swear it kept coming and coming.  (I know TMI).  So as we drove down the hill you were in the back in your car seat and daddy

decided to do a little filming.  We arrived at the hospital and all of a sudden I had extreme amounts of pressure.  I thought, oh crap the baby is coming now.  I stood up and here we go again, a giant gush of fluid again.  Ugh, it wasn’t the head coming, just more fluid. Literally a giant gush came down and splashed the ground and now my shoes and pants were completely soaked.  Cashy you were so reluctant to even pull up to the hospital, you thought we were bringing you in for another poke or another procedure.  Poor little bugger. I promised you we weren’t though. We arrived and were put in our room, my nurse, Alissa checked me and I was 4cm.  So I walked some laps, sat on the exercise ball, and now the contractions were kicking in and starting to hurt.  I got in the shower to hopefully get things moving even faster, I let the hot water run on my belly for what seemed like an hour. After I got out of that shower, those contractions were hurting soooooo dang bad.  All I wanted was to have someone rubbing my back while I sat on the ball and rocked side to side.  Now at 4:30 pm I was hurting big time, but I really didn’t want an epidural.  For some reason I really wanted to prove to myself that I could do it without. Well at 5:17pm I pushed out a 6 pound baby girl (which was a surprise) without any pain medication and not even an IV in my wrist.  I was so proud of myself as was Mike. Pushing a baby out of your vagina without pain medication really takes the words “ring of fire” to a whole new level of meaning.  Your daddy videoed the whole birth and was so excited that I did it without any drugs that he had to show all of his friends. Ugh, thanks for that Mike! Like I wanted all of your buddies to have a shot of my vagina at its ultimate worst.  I’m pretty sure some of them will never have babies because of that.  Oh well I guess…their loss! What’s done is done. Hahaha.  The next day we brought out little sweet bundle of joy, surprise from God, home.  We were so blessed, three babies, and a cancer free Cashy.  Could life get any better than this?? Not at that moment.

The first thing we did when we brought Sissy home from the hospital was that you insisted we put her in your car bed with you.  Man you were so proud of your baby sister.  You were the best big brother ever smothering her in kisses and hugs.

I long for the days of sleeping with you and her, one of my babies in each arm.  I would have to switch you and Sissy to different places so I could breast feed her on both sides.  You didn’t mind though, you just loved cuddling with momma and Sissy.

You don’t know the sting your absence has left us.  It’s like treading water, you keep treading and treading and trying to keep your head afloat, stay afloat, keep afloat.  Some days I want to sink and never tread again.  I want to sink to the bottom where nobody can find me, slowly letting the bubbles of my breath float to the top, bubble by bubble, till I’m out of breath. Till there’s nothing left.

People keep saying, “Oh the pain gets easier as time goes on.”  That’s a crock of shit.  I feel like the further we get from the day you passed the harder it is.  Today marks 5 months almost a half a year.  Where did the time go? How can it have been 5 months, how have I even lived 5 months without you? It’s not even possible.  Even though I took thousands of pictures of you, I’m so mad at myself God for not taking more, for not taking more videos….it’s all I have now, memories, pictures, videos, and of course your things tucked away in a box to save forever.  Forever is so permanent, and you’re forever gone, we can’t get you back no matter how many times I run your scenario over and over in my head.  I should have done this, I should have done some of that. What IF I had tried harder, what IF I would have found him this supplement or that herb or vitamin?  What IF I hadn’t had to work all that time, could I have changed the course? Could I have altered the path of your destiny?

Sometimes I swear I’m driving myself certifiably insane.  I keep over analyzing your baby sis. Sometimes I swear she has a brain tumor.  I know, I know it’s absurd. But sometimes I watch her eyes, I feel like they move weird.  Sometimes I look at how she’s always falling over and bonking her head.  I’m just literally a freak that worries about everything. Will that cause cancer? I’m constantly learning about new healthy ways of living and I know this will help keep my kids safe from a lot of the dangers out there.  But you can’t chance fate.

I feel like I’ve lost a lot of friends along this journey of losing a child, yet I have also gained many new friends, and some old friends have re-surfaced as well.  The truth is some people are only there for you during the drama, during the worst times, but where are the people when you really need lifting, when you need a smile on your face, when you need to laugh or cry, when you need that support.   I feel like sometimes it’s just Daddy and I alone in this grief of losing a child.  Nobody understands OUR pain.  Nobody understands what it was like to have such an awesome kid like you pass away from the most awful deadly thing possible. Nobody besides daddy and I had a Cashy like you.  You’re the one and only Cashy, nobody can replace you or stand in your shoes.  You’re a one of a kind dude, Cash.  It’s nice to get that random text from a friend, wondering how you are, how you’re dealing with losing such a special boy, wondering how you’re even getting out of bed of even dressed for the day, or even just a quick text to say, love you friend. I truly appreciate those and I smile big when I get those (you know who you are).  I appreciate the little things like that.  But I also do understand that life is continuing to go on around us even though at this moment it seems to be standing still.  Standing still in a sea of loneliness and grief.  A baron empty deep sea where the only thing around is a giant wave to swallow you whole, along with the pain and emptiness in your heart.

On a more positive note, on Thursday we held a reggae concert/fundraiser at the Top Hat starring Pato Banton and the Now Generation.  Wow was it amazing!!! Nearly 600 people packed into the Top Hat for a reggae concert of a lifetime!  It was so much fun getting people together for a good cause and to spread Cashy’s story.  At one point, and I really bless this girl’s heart because she was so sincere.  I went into the bathroom and this girl came out of the stall and I gave her a Cashy wrist band, she asked what it was for and I told her the reason she was at the bar in the first place, Cashy’s story, (she didn’t know why she was there, just a free concert) so I told her that my son died of brain cancer and we were throwing a fundraiser.  She looked at me with (well a half drunk/half whole heartedly head tilt to the side look) and goes “OMG, my cat died of cancer,” I was like “uhh, well my kid died.” Awkward moment there.  Some people.  I told Mike and he says to me, “everybody has dealt with loss babe.”  That made me smile when he said that, because it’s so true.  But the event was so great! The owner of the Top Hat even paid the band more money to keep playing because everyone was having such a good time.  If you didn’t make it to the concert, well, you missed out on an epic concert!  All of daddy’s hard work to put this together in the last two weeks had really paid off.  I’m so proud of you babe!

Colty has been adapting to his dirt bike and he’s been riding it up Pattee Canyon on the dirt roads.  He’s really been doing great with it.  Although it makes me sooooo nervous!  He’s a little stud muffin though.  Mike’s buddy Dan took him to the moto-cross store and bought him all new gear to wear. Boots, riding pants and shirt and gloves.  Dano sure knows how to spoil a kiddo.  But Colty deserves it.  He’s been through more than any 8 year old kid ever has and I’m proud of him.

Well sweet child of mine, I must go.  I love you to the moon and back, to infinity and beyond and to the depths of my lonely Cashyless soul. I love you sweet boy. Please come to me in a dream (preferably one you’re alive in, please), it’s been way too long and I miss seeing your chubby cheeks and your pink lips.

Your momma forever.

To learn more about or to help out the Cash Hyde Foundation, please visitwww.CashHydeFoundation.com or to follow Cashy’s Battle Blog.

UnitedPatientsGroup.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight pediatric cancer! Thank you for your support!

UnitedPatientsGroup and The Cash Hyde Foundation:

• Our Journey has brought us some amazing stories…

• Doobons.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight Pediatric Cancer

• Medical Cannabis Resource Site Doobons.com Helps the Cash Hyde Foundation Spread Smiles

• Doobons.com Sends Out Plea for Cannabis Oil Donations for Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Victim Cash Hyde

• Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Patient Latest Casualty of Medical Marijuana Crackdown

• United Patients Group Spearheads Cash Hyde Foundation Medical Marijuana Reform Movement
• Pediatric Cancer Mom Turns Her Pain into Purpose with Aid of United Patients Group

The songs I hear on Pandora or the radio, I think of you, even the new songs that have come out since you passed, I always think, “man, Cashy would love this song.” Or I see a little boy with Car shoes on or shirt with a monkey on it, I think of your sweet face and how unfair it is that my little boy isn’t here to wear those shoes or to wear that shirt. God knows you loved your shirts with monkeys on them. You went through a little phase where you would only wear the Paul Frank monkey shirts. Preferably your orange one. You loved monkeys. Probably because you were one, hahaha.

When I see little babies that look like little monkeys (as in they have dark hair all over) I think of you. You were so cute as a newborn. You had hairy ears, hairy eye brows, sideburns, and even dark hair on your arms, and you had jet black hair. You were a month early and you had a lot of problems while in my belly. I was rear ended by an old man with his license plate reading “rondo.” His name was Ron and he was 81, but a stone cold asshole. I was 27 weeks pregnant and I had just left Target with your brother, we were heading towards the stop light on Mullen and Broadway. There was a lot of construction going on so I stopped at the flashing red light because there were cars coming and there was no way I could get out, I was inching my way out when Rondo came along and smashed into me. He comes up to my window screaming at me, “Why the hell did you stop?”, I’m like excuse me it was a red light and I’m yielding to turn. Then he continued to call me fat and that he didn’t know I was pregnant. Jerk. Yeah, I was fat, but whatever.
So there began my next ten weeks, of massages (which I wasn’t complaining about), chiropractor visits, doctor visits and bed rest. Ugh, it was a long ten weeks but we made it. When you were born you had the cord around your neck and body twice, there was an abruption on my placenta, a super thin cord, but you came out screaming and a whole 5 pounds 5 ounces. We were so thrilled you were healthy and the cutest little monkey baby ever, and my good friend Chelsey got to be my nurse and help deliver you, (thank God we didn’t give her a heart attack, with the way your strip looked throughout labor, every contraction was a deep deep heart deceleration, thank God I didn’t have to have a c-section).

I had been so nervous while pregnant about being able to love another baby as much as I loved your big brother. Everyone always would tell me that your heart makes room for more love and affection, compassion, and pure joy when another baby comes along. It just happens. The second you were born my heart swelled with love and I knew immediately that you were special and that you would change our lives for the better! And boy did you do that. When you were about a week old, I clearly distinctively remember holding you and looking at you and thinking, man for some awful reason I had a feeling you weren’t going to be here forever. Like at that very moment I had this overwhelming feeling of doom and gloom that something bad was going to happen to you. I quickly shrugged it off thinking it was my crazy hormones raging, but the feeling, it always lingered. Now I know why.

A couple months before you died, I had got into it with some friends about how they should cherish their children’s lives and that tomorrow is never promised to anyone, and to let them be rowdy, love them with all your heart, kiss them even though you want to pull out your hair, let them make mess, let them be a 4 year old, let them paint with those messy paints, let them play with play-dough even though it’s a mother worst nightmare. Let them do it because someday they might not get that chance. Yeah, I understand that you can’t let your 3 or 4 year old terrorize and do whatever the hell they want, that wasn’t what I was saying one bit. I just meant don’t stress about the small stuff, you can pick up that mess later (I’m one to talk about that though because I’m kind of a clean freak, I use time management wisely though), you can fold those towels later. I guess what I’m saying is it hurt my feelings to have friends tell me that just because my son was dying that it’s not ok for other people with healthy children to let them run wild and free because you’re never promised tomorrow. I guess they didn’t get my point of what I was trying to say. That happens though when people take for granted what they have, often little things get over looked and easily pushed aside, like your kids that are starving for attention, it’s easy to hurry on with the hustle and bustle of the day and ignore the real important things. I still guilty of this today. That’s all I was trying to say. It hurt my feelings and 6 or 7 weeks later you passed away.

A couple weeks ago I had THE most horrible dream about you. Ugh, it hurts my heart to even talk about it. But I will because it’s therapeutic. So, I was in this half sleep/half awake state while daddy got up with brother to get him off to school, daddy let me sleep in because I had to work that night. So in this horrid dream we were all walking/strolling downtown like we were at a Saturday farmer’s market. I was pushing you in your jogging stroller (the one you loved so much, “Cashy’s troller”, you called it), and daddy had Sissy in front of the pack and Colten was running along touching everything. We were minding our own business, having a great family outing. I stopped strolling and went in front of the stroller to pick you up and give you a kiss, you were kicked back with your leg over your knee and your arms were tucked back behind your head, a famous Cashy lounging position. I instantly realized you were dead, I touched your feet and they were so cold and your skin was peeling. You were stiff as a board, yet frozen in your kicked back position. I tried to play cool but as I looked around, everyone was staring and whispering and pointing at you. They were like, “geez these people are pushing around their dead kid.” I immediately woke up, crying huge years and Mike walks in seeing me crying and was like, “what is wrong?” I told him the dream and he just gave me a big hug. This dream has really stuck with me and has left me even more broken hearted. Stupid tricks the mind of a grieving mother can play. I hate you Brain! P.S., please let me sleep. I am a terrible terrible sleeper. I NEED sleep sooooo bad. Even when I’m home on the nights I’m off work, I sleep terrible, I ease up every hour or so. I have done this even before cancer, although it’s twenty times worse now. Sometimes I think hmmm, maybe an Ambien prescription wouldn’t be half bad. Lol.

Some amazing and very heartwarming things have happened lately and I know it’s at the hands of you. You’re changing the world Cashy, and that’s all I can say right now about it. You’re changing the world buddy.

We’ve been out keeping busy and having a lot of good times lately, I know you’ve been with us the whole time as well. I like to keep busy, that way I don’t get sucked in the sad deep deep dark hole of being emotional and moping around. If I keep busy, I can stay positive. If I’m idle for even a minute, I turn into an emotional ball of blubberyness about how you’re not here to enjoy the things that we are enjoying. It’s not fair.

Colty and Mike went Steel-head fishing last weekend with Aunt Michele and Uncle Craig, they had an awesome time! They caught a bunch of natives and unfortunately had to put them back, but Colty was super excited to catch such a big fish!!!

Colty and I went to Silver Mountain Resort with Brooke, Casey and Skye Pearl this last Friday night, we did the indoor water park, cooked a big birthday dinner for Casey and stayed in this amazing condo. It was a great time, Daddy and sis would of come, but they were both sick. Your poor sis has had three double ear infections in less than 7 weeks. Ugh. She had to get a strong antibiotic shot in both legs over three days, six total shots. Poor Sissy, I had to literally hold her down while they injected the shots all three times. It broke my heart, made me queasy and brought back a whole bunch of terrible memories of me having to hold you down for the million different procedures you had throughout the years. I’m so sorry for that, we thought it was the best thing for you at the time, ugh, as hard as that is to say.

Easter, another painful holiday without you that we can just add to the list. I was negative about Easter, I pretty much think Easter is a lame holiday. So Colten had insisted on staying the night at Mike’s parent’s house (yes, he likes the neighborhood girls), Colten got a brand new dirt bike last week so I figured a stupid Easter toy from China would be ok skip this year. My mom and Mike’s parents got him something anyway. So the bad and terrible Mom that I am, I didn’t get either kid an Easter basket. I just wasn’t in the mood for it, hell there should be three not just two. So there were none. Colten seemed ok with it. Although he kept texting me from Julie’s phone Sunday morning if I had found where the Easter bunny left his basket. Oops. I told him the Easter bunny said “since he got a 600 dollar dirt bike last week that it counted as an Easter present.” Sorry buddy. Lol. Someday soon I’ll be better at all of this, right now I’m a little lost in this world of grief and emotion that I would just rather not do any of it.

So while Colten was at Mike’s parents, Mike, Sissy, Casey and I went on a big hike up the mountain in front of our house. We hiked for almost 3 hours. It was supposed to be just a little walk, but turned into quite the jaunt. I had to work so I didn’t even get a nap in. I sure did struggle come 5am at work though, but it was all worth it.

Thanks for a lovely dinner Jim and Julie, we appreciate you guys cooking us up a yummy meal!

Your sweet Sissy is turning one soon!!! Next week on the 9th. I can’t believe it’s already been a year since she was born, and almost 5 months since you’ve been gone. You would be so proud of your baby sister, she is such a sweet, gentle baby. A year ago I would never have thought that you would be gone for almost 5 months by the time she turned one. So I was giving her a bath Saturday night and was thinking how much you would have loved to take a bath with her. You would have taught her how to swim on her belly like you always did. I sure miss giving you baths. You loved baths when you were tumor free. You would get in the tub and start making the water flow back and forth as you pretended to swim and you would call for momma to look at you swimming like a big boy. When you had the tumor you hated bathes, and we had to rip your clothes off and throw you in. Sometimes you would quickly switch your demeanor and all of a sudden remember, “oh yeah, I love baths!” I wish I could still give you a bath, I even loved getting in the bath with you as you often demanded.

I will never forget the last bath I gave you. You had been gone for about 10 minutes when we decided we should clean you up and get you ready. I held you by the neck like I bathe the limp newborn babies, I washed you gently, I washed your hair, I wiped your boogers, which I pretended to put the booger back, because that’s what you would say every time we wiped your nose, “put it back!!!” Daddy saw me wipe your nose and he said it, it kinda broke the silence and we all laughed with tears in our eyes. No one should ever know how it feels to literally bathe your baby for the last time. Good thing we bathed you then because the cops came shortly after and ruined our whole grieving process as they hung around “the unassisted death.” It still upsets me when I think about that. His death was not unassisted, I am a registered nurse and Mike and I were his primary caregivers. My mom is a registered nurse as well, there is no way you can say it was an unassisted death. He was assisted, we held him while he took his last breath. I have never seen a nurse hold someone while they take their last breath. My mom called out time of death, it was very professional and I’m glad we didn’t have extra strangers in our house. Also don’t you think if the cops had to come and investigate that they would of at least examined and of even looked at Cash when they arrived. Not one time did they come up and check his pulse or anything. They didn’t even look at him until they had been there for 40 minutes or so. Then they made me take out medical records and show them that indeed he had cancer. Then the most horrifying thing was they made me take him back to my bedroom and undress him as they took pictures of his naked lifeless body, they even lifted up his eye lids. My sweet boy who fought a long and hard disease that would make grown men cry like babies, was now being disrespected just like that, it ripped my already broken and empty heart. Then they asked me what the marks on his cheeks were in accusatory tone, like I had burned him with a cigarette or something. Ugh, I’m done talking about that, it literally makes my skin crawl. We hope to have set precedence and maybe something like that won’t happen to another family who chooses to use a natural approach, not death by a slow pharmaceutical poisoning.

Cashy, I’m glad and thankful you went the way you did. You didn’t lay in a morphine coma for weeks like all the other children who die daily of cancer. You were up walking, talking and eating Cheerios the day you died. I’m so thankful you didn’t pass in the night with us beside you. If I would have woken up to find you dead, I don’t know what would have happened. I’d probably be locked up at Warm Springs. I’m thankful everyday for those last moments with you, the giant kiss on my lips you gave me before you passed, I’ll never forget how dry those big lips were. You were so stubborn about putting on Chap-Stick, but you just reached up and kissed me, like you knew it was your last kiss. I’m thankful I got it. That was the last coherent thing you did. Daddy got to hold you as you passed and I got your last big kiss, thank you for that. Oh man I miss you. It definitely doesn’t get easier. Each day I think I get numb to the pain.

The other night at work I walked in a patients room to find her sound asleep with the movie Cars playing in the background. Man I wasn’t ready for that. That was your all time favorite movie. The second I saw it playing, all sorts of emotions came pouring out of me and I instantly had to run out with tears in my eyes. Thank God she was asleep. She would have thought I was crazy! Lol.

Colty has been enjoying his new school, he loves his new teacher and seems to be happy with the switch. He came home from school the other day upset because a older kid had pushed him down and told him (I hate even repeating this) that his brother deserved to die, I want to peel that kids eye lids off just for even saying that. If I ever see him out and about he will get my two cents! So I had to go to the principal’s office and talked to him about it. He said he was going I take care of it. Rotten little asshole kids, I swear. I hate bullies!!! If you were ever a bully (and I can think of a few from my past) you should be ashamed of yourself and look up those people you bullied and seriously give them a sincere apology for hurting them. When a bully picks on you it sticks with you forever. I remember when I was in the 6th grade this big giant fat kid came up to me and called me “Cowie Moocarthy” (my maiden name is McCarthy) I wasn’t even fat or chubby. But it stuck with me forever. So for your good deed of the week, look up someone you bullied and tell them how deeply sorry you were for that. It will make their day and I guarantee they haven’t forgotten what you did to them!

So every night I work I get asked that dreaded question, “So, how many kids do you have?” I swear at least two of my patients will ask me that a night. It’s rather depressing always having to tell people your son died of brain cancer. I need to come up with a better response, because when I say my middle son passed away from brain cancer it makes an awkward silence and makes me nervous. I don’t think people know what to say. They are in the height of their glory with their new baby and this nurse comes in talking of her dead kid, well not a very feel good moment right there. Oh well, I will talk about you even when I’m 80 years old and senile! I’ll probably be one of those crazy old ladies in a nursing home carrying a baby doll around looking and yelling for her son. I can see it now. I had one PTS mother last week as I walked into the room go, “are you Cashy Hyde’s mom?” Lol, I laughed, yep that’s me! My PT told me when her mom left she said she felt like she was hanging with a celebrity. That literally made me laugh! Thanks Cashy for the smile!

Well Cashy, I must call it a night. I hope you know how much I love and miss you.

This Thursday we are coming to Salt Lake to see you. It’s been way too long. I only wish your headstone was ready to see. Next time. I look forward to sitting and talking to you buddy. But I know even though I’m not there now, you’re around me, you hear me, you see me, you feel me. I know you are with us. Protect us on our drive sweet boy. I can’t wait to visit. I hope you’re happy and playing and having a great time with all your friends up there. Juju, Kiwi, Dawson, Ronan….I know you’re up there playing with all the cool kids! Keep em’ out of trouble!! love you to infinity and beyond buddy. Miss you my little monkey man.

Momma.

Cashy fans, I added a photo of food marketing translation, so when you’re shopping you’ll know to avoid these phrases on your food.

Know that anything in a box is bad, it usually has preservatives, and anything that say natural flavor is also known as MSG. Educate yourselves to better yourselves and your family!

This is where cancer comes from so if you’re educated on what garbage not to buy, we’ll you’re on your way to healthier and better living!

To learn more about or to help out the Cash Hyde Foundation, please visit www.CashHydeFoundation.com or to follow Cashy’s Battle Blog.

UnitedPatientsGroup.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight pediatric cancer! Thank you for your support!

UnitedPatientsGroup and The Cash Hyde Foundation:

• Our Journey has brought us some amazing stories…

• Doobons.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight Pediatric Cancer

• Medical Cannabis Resource Site Doobons.com Helps the Cash Hyde Foundation Spread Smiles

• Doobons.com Sends Out Plea for Cannabis Oil Donations for Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Victim Cash Hyde

• Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Patient Latest Casualty of Medical Marijuana Crackdown

• United Patients Group Spearheads Cash Hyde Foundation Medical Marijuana Reform Movement
• Pediatric Cancer Mom Turns Her Pain into Purpose with Aid of United Patients Group

Newsweed-Worthy

March 6 – LA Mayoral Candidate Wants Change… From the Feds

When it comes to marijuana, LA’s mayoral frontrunner Eric Garcetti is ready to ask for what the people need from the federal government. In his latest conversation with HuffPostLive, he pushed for the Obama administration to reclassify marijuana as a medical substance and end its “hypocrisy” of the drug laws still in tact today. Holding close ties to a former councilman that is battling cancer and needs medical marijuana to survive comfortably, Garcetti’s request is not only a fight close to home,  but also  for his neighboring Angelenos and for the national community in need of this medicine.

March 24 – MJ Verification Tech to Make Things Tick Better for CO Law Enforcement

Colorado law enforcement will soon be getting some reinforcement when it comes to medical marijuana… from technology. Having been in development for the past three years, a 24-7 medical marijuana verification machine is finally underway from the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment and the Colorado Bureau of Investigation that will hopefully be ready by May. Patient privacy is still a concern, but ultimately traffic stops or investigations is hoped to go over more smoothly with the new technology when perfected and protected.

March 25 – Maryland and Medical Marijuana Approval, Oh My!

The Maryland House of Delegates approved a bill that will allow medical marijuana to be distributed to patients through medical research facilities. Now heading to Senate, this approval comes a week after Senate approved a measure that decriminalizes small pot possession, making medical marijuana’s standing look good in the state. If the bill is approved, Maryland will be the next state to join the medical marijuana roster, but with the tightest restrictions.

Well-Weeded

March 6 – Pot in the Plans for Entrepreneurs

Since the passing of recreational marijuana in Colorado and Washington states, entrepreneurs have set their sights on becoming Ganjapreneurs. Both states are still a ways away from having set regulations and licenses ready for grabs, but the itch for entering the pot industry is there. For married couple Kim Ridgway and Kimberly Bliss, opening their own pot shop means not only a new and better source of income, but a way to also change community attitudes on marijuana. Other pot industry vets are in the middle of preparing for expansion or conversion (medical to recreational shops) to accommodate the new development. The tides of change are upon us and we are nothing but hopeful for these pot movers and shakers.

March 7 – Weed To Go, In San Diego

Vending machines in San Diego are getting upgraded to dispense medicinal marijuana. 2011 saw a huge crackdown on marijuana dispensaries, but the CEO of Medbox is hoping to change the landscape again by opening up 30 locations with Medboxes in the San Diego area. The 800 pound, armor-coated machine is expected to reduce, rather than cause, crime while safely and easily dispensing  medicine to those patients in need. Talk about instant gratification.

Wild Weeds

March 20 – Grammy-Winning Rapper Gets Kushy With Michigan Dispensary

Medical marijuana can have celebrity sponsors too. Rapper Stanley “Flesh-N-Bone” Howse from Bone Thugs-N-Harmony has collaborated with Michigan-based medical marijuana facility The Green Oasis to cultivate and deliver a new pot strain. “Phifty Caliber Kush” boasts a strong floral taste and sense of pain relief, something that patients can hopefully look forward to. Looks like this is the blossoming start of a great partnership.

In high school, they taught us smoking one joint was the damaging equivalent of inhaling an entire pack of cigarettes. Marijuana was so harmful it was classified with heroin and considered a top tier threat by our government, and our government had everyone’s best interest at heart: its job was protecting us from the harms we couldn’t even imagine. Huh???

I watched my country, America, come together through 9/11/01.  I was in grade school and witnessed American flags popping up endlessly; swinging above people’s doorsteps, stickers in car windows, proud banners hanging from store to store. What I saw was proof of my country’s resilience, unity and loyalty.

So, now that I see the world through a slightly more experienced lens, I recognize that America is not just comprised of heroic acts of kindness and love seen in moments of great far-reaching pain. It is also composed of the tragic moments not quite potent enough to be widespread news, but too hideous to even imagine.

Nearly four and half months ago, a four-year old child named Cash Hyde passed away in the arms of his father from a brain tumor.  He had been diagnosed with a brain tumor at one and a half years of age and was told he only had a few weeks to live. They began chemo right away and this brave little soldier stood up to battle.  When the doctors told his parents that he didn’t have any time left at the age of two, his father did what any parent would; he went out looking for a better answer. The best part is, he found one. He went to a ‘legal’ dispensary and bought MMJ oil because cannabis had been shown to have anti-tumor properties. He personally gave his child the oil through his feeding port and within weeks the tumor was gone. Imagine such a miracle! Of course, the doctors wouldn’t credit an oil, but they didn’t deny the results, either.

Then U.S. Attorney Melinda Hagg decided that the Department of Justice didn’t have enough critical problems to deal with. Heroin seizures had more than doubled from 2007 to 2011, etc., yet she focused her energies and resources on attacking the cannabis industry instead. The state where Cash Hyde and his parents live stopped carrying any cannabis oil – all the dispensaries were scared out of business. The tumor returned. Despite the outpour of help from around the country, medicine arrived too late…

The tumor came back. Cash had gone too long without his life saving marijuana oil.

Cash rests in peace now and we are so grateful to know he never has to suffer again.

But still, I’m left frustrated. Our country, founded on the principles of religious freedom and a live-and-let-live policy, is now somehow being run by an overreaching and meddling bureaucracy. So what, imagine with me if we let people take whatever palliative measures they see necessary? Maybe our loved ones might suffer less? Maybe they might live?

I can’t passively accept that Cash died just because some people are too closed-minded and uninformed to realize that lives are at stake here. We owe it to Cash (and our country) to fight this battle to the finish line. Take a stand and fight for the right to access the medicine of your doctor’s choice. Just imagine if the next person needing the medicine is your child.

To read Alexis’ other blogs on UnitedPatientsGroup.com:

• Medical Marijuana and Lyme Disease…Alexis’ story

• MMJ patient Alexis & her tips on Growing Cannabis Efficiently: Time is Money!

• Buying in the Shops VS. Growing at Home: Which is Right for You?

• The Political Future of Cannabis – by cannabis patient, Alexis

• MMJ Patient Alexis’ Update

   

Cashy, it sure has been a busy last couple of weeks, between moving into the new house, working full time, and two busy kids (well a baby that is literally into EVERYTHING) and a busy daddy who has to pick up some of momma’s slack when she works, it’s just been crazy and the days are flying by.

I don’t remember you or your brother being as busy as little Sissy is. Oh man, I need to baby proof this new house and fast. If I turn my head for two seconds she will be eating Ajax, getting into every drawer or pulling out every tampon or maxi pad she can find, or ripping out pots and pans.

I swear if there is Silence in the house, that’s not good, and it means Sissy is up to no good. Hahaha. One minute sis will be right beside me, the next minute she is back in your room digging out cars, and today it was a Baggie of rocks you collected. She got into them and started tasting a few as well. Good thing they were larger rocks that couldn’t fit in her mouth. She can find anything and that’s no joke. The smallest particle, even a grain of rice would be picked it up with her tiny fingers and instantly into her mouth. She had a dead fly hanging from her lip the other day. Lordy lord…YUCK!

Sometimes it’s truly the strangest thing to realize that your healthy kids are healthy. If that makes any sense. I often sit and just stare at Sissy while she’s nursing, almost like I’m searching for something to be wrong with her. Like it’s too good to be true. How can this perfect little angel of a baby girl be mine, and be perfect all at the same time. I’m used to worrying and worrying and worrying so much that I would make myself sick. My mom even had me convinced back when you were getting scans every 3 months, that if I didn’t worry than something would truly be wrong. Sometimes I look at Sissy and tell your daddy, “her eye just moved weird,” or “she just hit herself on the head,” or “she keeps falling and bonking her head, it must be a brain tumor.” Almost every time she’s napping in her crib longer than a half hour I’m worried she’s in there suffocated or smothered and just dead. Crap how long will I be like this? Forever? God I hope not. 3 years of this constant worrying and constant fear of something going wrong, well it’s enough to commit you to the funny farm.

Cashy you were a worrier too, just like me. You would sit and bite your nails like a little nervous Nelly. I’m sure you got that from me. Dang nail biting. I’ve tried all the techniques to quit biting my nails; visualizing dog poop under my finger nails, (pshhh that doesn’t work), putting tobacco on the tips of my nails (that works for a bit but eventually if wears off, and I’ll be back at it), fake nails (tried that and I just wanna bite the damn fake ones off). You were so cute when you did it though. Sometimes if you had a hang nail you’d make me bite it off. That’s probably how it started because when you were a baby instead of using the dangerous nail clippers (they looked so big and scary when placed next to a tiny baby finger) I’d just lightly bite off your soft nails so you wouldn’t scratch yourself.

I have so much guilt about having had to work so much in those last few months we had with you. Going to work and knowing you were at home without me to hold your sweet little hand. I’ll never forget how shitty of a parent I felt that night (about a month before you passed) when it was close to 6 o’clock and I had to be at work by 7, you were so upset about me having to go, you were crying and throwing a fit. It was a Saturday night, you wanted me to sit with you on the couch and cuddle. So I called in sick. I didn’t feel bad about it either, until ten minutes later when my unit manager called me. She says, “You just called in sick, but we need you and we have nobody to cover. It’s too close to the shift to find someone. You HAVE to come in; can’t your mom sit at home with Cash?” I was blown away that she would actually call me to make me come to work. I was like “um, well ok.” And I had to go to work. Tears and my heart ripped straight out of my chest.

I shouldn’t complain. My job was phenomenal throughout your whole illness. I missed a lot of work. But I would do it all over again, just to be with you. To hold you, to kiss you sweet lips, to rub your little boney back and bootie, I massaged your little tummy and your stinky feet (your right foot had the most beautiful mole on the bottom of it, a rare occurrence according to one of your earlier pediatricians).

How is it even possible that I’m living this life without you? How is it possible that I birthed you, gave you life, and now you’re gone, just like that. Gone from us forever. My heart literally aches for you, for your touch, it aches and longs to hear your sweet voice, to see your beautiful smile, that smile that won over so many hundreds of hearts.

We hung out at the cabin in Darby two weekends in a row as John and Corinne were in town. We had such a great time, Colty got to bottle feed a baby cow, he rode the 4 wheeler, he shot his bb gun, he chased squirrels, he got to be that 8 year old boy that he hasn’t really had much of a chance to be. Even though you only got to go there once with us, I know you would have loved to go there and play and run wild with your brother Colten. Ride the 4 wheeler, sit by the campfire, you loved to sit by campfires, you would always just kick back and stare at the fire. With your arms behind your head cuddled up with a blankie. I always wondered what you were thinking; you always had this way about you, like you were so much wiser beyond your years. A little boy so young and innocent, yet so wise and experienced in his earthy body.

John did a phenomenal press release on his website for me about my blog and how I use it to write to you to help with my grief. Grief, what does that even mean…? It means; Deep sorrow, esp. that caused by someone’s death. Trouble or annoyance.

Deep sorrow doesn’t even do the word grief, justice. Grief is that pain and hole in my heart that I often talk about. It’s profound mental anguish. Living without you is beyond mental anguish. It’s like being in one of those SAW movies, where you’re stuck in this scene where you can’t get out and you keep trying and times running out…but my time’s not running out, it’s moving slowly and slowly and each day that passes, it feels like it’s been a million years without you.

Thank you John and Corinne for the fabulous weekend and for working so hard on my press release while on your vacation. You guys rock! We’re so lucky to have met you guys, it’s just one more awesome thing Cashy did for us! He brought us close to so many amazing people these past three years. We are just so thankful to have gotten to know so many kind hearted, free spirited people. If it wasn’t for you Cashy none of this would have been possible. To know that all of you gathered and did fundraisers, pig raffles, lemonade stands, jersey raffles, toy drives, spaghetti feeds, Scentsy bear sales, and all because of the love you have for our family and because our little boy is dead.

Can you put yourself in my shoes for one minute? Just take one minute, close your eyes, and think of your child dying (not that I would EVER want anyone to ever feel our pain). In that one minute, allow yourself to experience the pain we feel, my family feels, every second of the day. Take this one minute of pain and know this is why you all have taken it upon yourselves to permeate yourself into our lives, when most of you don’t even know us. Take a minute to think about what amazing human beings that makes you, and be proud of who you are. You all know there is more to life then the superficial things that surround us. You all get the bigger picture and you all know you are about to help us change this world and the way most people live with their eyes closed and lack of passion.

You all have made me beyond proud and honored to have your love and support, and it makes me want to strive that much harder, be that much more passionate, and be that much more involved in spreading the knowledge we have not only pediatric cancer but cannabis and it’s medical benefits, about eating healthy, juicing, exercising and living that healthy lifestyle that Cashy doesn’t get to live. Not because he chose to be unhealthy or out of shape, not because he chose to eat those McDonald’s fries, because he didn’t get a choice, he didn’t get to live. He wanted to live. Cashy lived everyday of his life like it was his last. He lived his life to the fullest, the way everyone should. I can guarantee you, if Cashy would have grown into an adult, the way he should have, he would have changed the world in some way shape or form. 4 years wasn’t enough.

Why is it that every holiday season at the grocery stores there are those flyers you can buy for certain disorders for a donation of a dollar or 5. Why is there never any for childhood cancer? At Albertson’s right now they have shamrocks for muscular dystrophy. I always buy one of these so I can put your name on it. We’ve been trying to get these in as monkeys with the foundations information, Daddy went to a few stores before Valentine’s day to try to get a store to use our logo and help raise funds so we can get more reggae runners out there and help other families. We were actually contacted by a hospital in San Francisco that we donated some runners to last summer on your birthday; they would like some more runners!!! They are in need of them! We were thrilled about this. That reggae run we did with you was your last run. It was so memorable in every way. Your 4th and last birthday. I never once thought that, that day would be your last birthday. I wish I would of thrown you I giant party. We should have, even though you would have probably hated it. I remember every time I asked you what you wanted for your birthday, you would answer, “stickers!” You loved stickers. The picture below is of you with your twenty-some packs of stickers that you stuck all around the house. There were even stickers on your head, and all over your bike. Man you were such a goofball. I miss you so much, the missing you part, it’s constant, it never goes away, and I know it never will, I would never want it to.

We did family photos Saturday and Sissy got her one year pics done as well, along with her naked butt picture to go on the wall with yours and big bros. It’ll be so cute!! Thanks Brittany McLaughlin with Writing with Light Photography! We can’t wait to see them!!

Yesterday I broke down thinking about how wrong it was doing the family photos without you. We brought a framed 8×10 photo of you and had that in the pictures with us, so you know we’re always thinking of you. I cried quietly in the kitchen thinking about how much of a stinker you were during your last photo shoot. You were already starting to get sick and you wouldn’t smile for the camera! Brittney even had 39 different sheets of stickers to bribe you with, you kept taking the stickers but refused to smile! My sweet stubborn boy. . .
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Here’s a quick recipe for a fabulous way to cook Brussel sprouts. I never used to like Brussels but with our new diet I’ve bed trying everything, and Brussels are sooooo good!! So take the Brussels and wash then then dry them off. Cut them in halves and place in baking pan. Drizzle with olive oil or coconut oil (we use coconut oil for everything), salt/pepper, and some garlic powder (not garlic salt it makes it to salty). Bake at 350 for 15-20 minutes. Your kids might even love these, Colty and Sissy do!!! Enjoy hot!

Check out this picture of Cash watching Barney Live. You can just imagine what his face looks like. He was so excited!! this was in Disney World on Cashy’s make a wish trip! Such great memories!

To learn more about or to help out the Cash Hyde Foundation, please visit www.CashHydeFoundation.com or to follow Cashy’s Battle Blog.

UnitedPatientsGroup.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight pediatric cancer! Thank you for your support!

UnitedPatientsGroup and The Cash Hyde Foundation:

• Our Journey has brought us some amazing stories…

• Doobons.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight Pediatric Cancer

• Medical Cannabis Resource Site Doobons.com Helps the Cash Hyde Foundation Spread Smiles

• Doobons.com Sends Out Plea for Cannabis Oil Donations for Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Victim Cash Hyde

• Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Patient Latest Casualty of Medical Marijuana Crackdown

• United Patients Group Spearheads Cash Hyde Foundation Medical Marijuana Reform Movement
• Pediatric Cancer Mom Turns Her Pain into Purpose with Aid of United Patients Group

In this week’s “hypocrisy news,” the federal government continues to deny the medical value of cannabis even in light of contrary claims by its own agency, the National Institute of Health.

According to an article on NBC News.com, the Advocates for the Disabled and Seriously Ill (ADSI) took issue with the fact that in a National Cancer Institute (NCI) report, cannabis is hailed as a medicine that “inhibited the survival of both estrogen receptor–positive and estrogen receptor–negative breast cancer cell lines, and may provide risk reduction and treatment of colorectal cancer.” Further, the report states that cannabis does not cause lung cancer, and might have a protective effect against its formation.

The hypocrisy is in the fact that the NCI is part of the National Institute of Health, an agency of the federal government – the same government that claims cannabis has no accepted medical use. Apparently curing cancer does not fit the definition of “medical.”

This is not the first time we have heard claims of the anti-cancer effects of cannabis. In 2006, Dr. Donald Tashkin at UCLA conducted a study to determine if there was a link between lung cancer and cannabis. Even Tashkin was surprised by the outcome stating, “we hypothesized that there would be a positive association between marijuana use and lung cancer, and that the association would be more positive with heavier use. What we found instead was no association at all, and even a suggestion of some protective effect.”

But there’s more.

In the mid 1990’s, Cristina Sanchez, a scientist in Madrid found that THC, one of the active ingredients in cannabis kills brain cancer cells. This effect was replicated by Manuel Guzman and his team of researchers in Spain in the mid 2000’s. Guzman administered THC via catheter to nine patients with brain cancer who had been resistant to other medications. Tumor growth was reduced in every single subject. Guzman published his study in the British Journal of Pharmacology in 2006.

Also in the mid 2000’s, scientists from Harvard found that administering THC slowed the growth of lung cancer cells. The Harvard study made the important discovery that cannabis can kill the affected cells while leaving healthy cells alone, something that makes chemotherapy take such a toll on the body.

So, why would our government, in light of scientific evidence that cannabis kills cancer cells continue their party line of “no medical value?” Is it to save face? To not have to admit how wrong they are?

Last night, I gave a talk about medical cannabis at the Women’s Cancer Resource Center in Oakland, CA. The room was packed with women (and some of their husbands) who have (or had) cancer. These women are brave, they are fighters and they would do anything in their power to take back control of their health. All they want is a level playing field.

When I told them about the ADSI article, the NCI report and the research, they were angry. They wanted to know why their government had been keeping this from them and their doctors. They wanted to know why they were steered towards chemotherapy and prescription pills that took away any quality of life they had.

They were angry, but then they become hopeful. They live in California, and cannabis is available to them. They felt empowered when we spoke of going to a dispensary and making choices about their health and their treatment. They lamented their sisters in non-medical cannabis states who were still in the dark and considered criminals.

Most of all, they just asked why? Why would our government deny this information to the millions of people who could be helped by it?

I wish I had an answer for them, but, I didn’t, and I’m not the one who needs to answer to them, their government does.

By Amanda Reiman.  Amanda Reiman is the California policy manager for the Drug Policy Alliance.

And it’ll be about time.

California was the first state to successfully legalize medical marijuana back in 1996. Today, the state also houses the largest medical marijuana industry in the United States. But despite indicators of changing attitudes toward the plant in the state, stronger opposition has kept legal recreational use at bay.

Colorado and Washington have, instead, blazed the trail in recognizing the legality of recreational marijuana. Because these states are the first to legalize the recreational use of marijuana, the success of their laws will provide a working model for how legalization will play out on a national level and may have a hand in changing attitudes about marijuana use in general. The recent California field poll proves that point.

Voters were asked, just a few months after the bills were passed in Washington and Colorado, about their stance on the  legalization of recreational marijuana.

Their opinions changed from 50 percent back in 2010 to 54 percent more recently. Though a small margin, the difference will speak volumes when Washington and Colorado succeed in their efforts and when it comes to voting time in California later this year.

What Does This Mean for MMJ Patients?

In the long run, the legalization of recreational marijuana will be a signal that voters and the nation at large do not view marijuana use as a criminal activity, but one that has medicinal value to those who need it. Legalizing the recreational use of marijuana will also ease the social stigma surrounding this substance. More importantly, legalization will provide patients and caregivers with ready access to the medicine they need without fear of prosecution or the worry that the dispensaries they count on will be shut down by the federal government.

How is it even possible that you’re gone? Could this all just be a bad dream and I just haven’t woken up yet. You know when your dreams feel so real that when you wake up they are so vivid, it was really like you were really there doing those things. I wish it was a dream. If it was, I’d probably never come back to reality. I’d be ok living in Dreamland. Anything is possible in Dreamland.

First thing I would do is track you down and smother you with hugs and kisses till you turned blue. Then I would do whatever it was you wanted to do. I would guess that you would want to go to Wal-Mart or Target and pick up a ten pack of Hot Wheels cars and maybe some markers, probably a pack of Toy Story band-aids as well. In Dreamland I’d let you get a 100 pack of Hot Wheels if you asked. (Pretty much what I did in real life too, you were spoiled rotten).

Your fascination with Hot Wheels cars came about the summer you turned 3. You went on a long trip with Daddy, Casey, Dan, Domo, Skye Pearl and your bro Colten, all the way to Denver, Colorado. Daddy met with a bunch of cannabis activists and there was an expo going on. While you guys were visiting people, you were shown this kids Hot Wheels car collection. Daddy said there was probably over a thousand cars or more. Well that night when you guys were all getting ready to leave daddy had a feeling to check your pockets, well low and behold you had like 20 cars stashed in your pockets. Daddy unloaded your stash and they let you keep one. From there on out you were obsessed!!!

When we were in California doing radiation you were at your peak of Hot Wheels cars obsession. Every time you went in for radiation daddy and I would be waiting for you with two brand new in the box Hot Wheels cars. You insisted they were in the box and you wouldn’t accept them unless they were new/sealed/ in the box. No way around it. It was pretty cute at first. We went to Wal-Mart and would buy maybe 25-30 cars at a time. First we would try giving you just one car after each radiation season, then we would try keeping the boxes and reusing the cars , putting them back in the box and taping them so you would think it was new. Not a flipping chance. You would know instantly that it was a used one. Then came the tantrum! Daddy and I would always jump to your beckon call. People often told us we spoiled you too much, but hell, how can you spoil a superstar like Cashy Michael Hyde, you were only the coolest dude on earth. Man, I’d buy you anything you wanted if I could.

Sometimes when I’m deeply thinking about you and all that you endured, I get so weak, I can’t breathe, and I panic. Pictures of you in your white suit in your coffin circulate through my brain like a movie, a sad, sad movie, almost as bad as a horror movie, some things were that bad. The thought of how cold and stiff you were when your body was this lifeless vessel. Vessel to another realm. To another life, another spiritual dimension that your “Godly like self” gets to embark on. Thinking about it that way makes me calmer, makes me almost excited and at peace that you are on your next spiritual journey.

The medium told us you were gearing up to take another soul soon. A part of me is happy about this, but another part of me is soooooo upset and hurt at the possibility of you taking another human soul. Who will you be? What will you look like? Will you still come to me in my dreams? Will I still be your mommy? This frightens me. The universe is such a powerful, enlightening, and giant mass full of radiant energy. You could be anything, anyone. I do hope whoever you go on to be, that you get a chance to be healthy and live a life with no pain and no worries about tumors or scans, or blood draws. It’s only fair that you get that chance. You’ve paid your dues, you experienced more in your short life than a grown adult would ever imagine. I’m so proud of you for that. I’m so proud of everything you ever did. I think about the few times I got you to actually pee on the potty. Of course we bribed you with a new Spider-Man bike if you went, even once. Lol. So you went pee and the moment that pee hit the little potty chair, you were done and you pulled out the cup part that the pee sits in, you ran down the hall to the bedroom to show daddy your pee. A lot of it spilled on the carpet and wood floor as you ran all the way to show daddy, but that wasn’t the point. You were so excited, I was so excited, and daddy was so excited. Our baby boy peed on the potty! Daddy took you to pick out your bike and you boys came home with a new big boy Spiderman bike!!! You loved it, even though you could barely reach the pedals.

I love recalling all our memories we’ve shared with you. Sometimes the littlest of memories are easily forgotten. I don’t ever want to forget a minute that I spend with you. Ever. It’s all I had left, memories.

Sometimes it’s easy to get off track, it’s easy to just want to be sad, and have pity for yourself. Whoa is me, my baby is dead, in a coffin, practically 20 feet underground beneath the snowy cold hard ground. I think about you being down under the ground and I get really upset. It really wasn’t what I wanted for you. (Well obviously death in general wasn’t what I wanted for you) I wanted to cremate you. I wanted to keep your ashes, I wanted to have them in a really awesome urn, maybe reggae stripped. Mainly I wanted to burn that cancer out of you, I didn’t want you buried deep in the ground with that killer of a beast in your body. It sends shivers up my skin thinking about it. It’s not what I wanted, none of it. But sometimes you have to make sacrifices and you don’t always get what you want. I’ve learned that throughout this unforgiving life. I wish I could at least visit you, you’re so far away. I wish I could just get off work and drive up to the cemetery and see you, or talk to you through a cool crazy special urn that you would be in on the fireplace mantle. Daddy and Colty were at least able to visit you a couple weeks ago. I hope you were giggling and teasing daddy and brother the whole time they were there. I know you were.

I ordered picture prints of a ton of my favorite pictures of you. I blew up our family photos we did in June and framed them last night. I was literally a wreck hanging pictures and cooking dinner last night. Each time Mike would come in, I’d be bawling hanging up another picture. It’s probably not a good thing that this house is so big! It means more wall space for pictures of your cute face!  People will probably think I’ve literally gone nuts, bonkers, off the wall with all the picture I’ve hung up. I don’t care, I miss you and it makes me feel good. Except that I just stare at the perfect essence of your being and my heart just melts into a million pieces and I want to crumble to the floor. I wish I could just hold you and kiss that spot behind your ear where I would kiss and you would giggle and laugh because if tickled so much. It’s like that song by Meatloaf, “I would do anything for love” except, I would do that thing that they wouldn’t do because I miss you so much I would literally do anything…If that makes any sense. Well it makes sense to me.

Everything makes sense except the fact that you’re gone. I’m still so very sorry and sick to my stomach that this has happened to you, to us. Nothing will ever be OK again. This life without you is wrong, so now I just have to go on, without you, it literally feels like my heart is on the outside of my chest and everyone is using it as a punching bag. I was actually told the other day by a crazed maniac of a Cashy fan (ugh, there’s always some crazies out there) that I had growing to do as a person. Pshhh. Well everyone can grow as a person yes, but to be told your ungrateful and you have growing to do, well that just pissed me off. I’d like to see how much growing you’d do if you fought for almost three years to keep your baby alive, if you’ve seen everything from code blues to blood gurgling out of your baby’s mouth as he get suctioned out while on a ventilator that keeps breathing for him, or while you hold your son shaking, while his skin  is a crispy burned color and peeling so bad from the chemo that his butt is so raw you can’t even wipe the excessive diarrhea with baby wipes because they burn the already burned skin even more, or while you mastered catching vomit in the pink puke bucket as soon as he made a certain face, you knew chunks were flying, or how you held your son 6 weeks straight every morning while they sedated him with heavy narcotics so they could radiate his 20 pound little frame from head to toe. Why don’t you do some of that, and then tell me I have some growing to do. I’m not saying I’m this saint of a person, I’ve made mistakes, I’ve made poor decisions, but I’ve also learned from those bad decisions and mistakes, I HAVE grown as a person, I’ve grown into a mother to my hero, a momcologist, a freedom fighter, a rebel, a woman who is strong enough to hold her baby and keep it together while he is taking some of his last breaths for fear of scaring him in his last moments. I’ve grown into all those things and I admit I do have growing to do yes, because my time on earth isn’t over and as long as I’m alive I’m growing and I wouldn’t want it any other way. If you’re living and not growing as a person well something is wrong. So to that awful lady who made me waste my time and tears arguing with her, yes I do have growing to do, and if I’m not growing, well I’m not living!

So on to a more positive note: Juicing; so a lot of people have been asking me about juicing and how and what it involves. I know the thought of juicing — Cashy, makes your head spin and you usually would automatically freak out about it, most of the time you’d be semi ok with it as long as we pretended to take it back out. You would say “take it back” so we would pretend to suck it back out of your g-tube after it went right in. Lol, we sure fooled you sometimes!! Haha. So juicing is an amazing way to get a lot of vital nutrients to your body without all the pulp and the vegetable or fruit itself.

When you drink a fresh juice it hits your blood stream instantly faster than a shot of hard alcohol. It gives you energy; it fills you up and is such a healthy way to get your more than your recommended servings of fruits and veggies. Your dad and I absolutely love juicing. When we skip a day on accident, if we’re to busy or run out of time, we just don’t feel right, we feel run down, kinda cranky and drained. We try to do a daily juice around breakfast time. I will usually just drink the juice after my workout and call it good, Mike usually eats something (he’s so skinny he needs to!). It fills me up for hours. We use carrots and apples as our main staple, and then I add whatever I can find in the fridge, kale, beets, spinach, usually a pear as well and even parsley. I chug it down because it’s a mental thing for me. Sometimes they’re not the tastiest with all the green leafy veggies so I chug it down. Mike savors the flavor. Lol.  So with exercising and juicing we feel better than ever! Everyone should get an Omega juicer and start juicing their way to best! Lol…. I totally sound like a commercial. Hahaha.

Well I must say goodnight. Daddy’s sleeping on our new mattress (after nearly 12 years on our old one) that came in today (while I’m at work, so jealous) so please give daddy a dream Cashy! I love you to the moon and back, forever and ever to infinity and beyond! I hope you’re safe and warm buddy. Miss you more than you would ever know.

To learn more about or to help out the Cash Hyde Foundation, please visit www.CashHydeFoundation.com or to follow Cashy’s Battle Blog.

UnitedPatientsGroup.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight pediatric cancer! Thank you for your support!

UnitedPatientsGroup and The Cash Hyde Foundation:

• Our Journey has brought us some amazing stories…

• Doobons.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight Pediatric Cancer

• Medical Cannabis Resource Site Doobons.com Helps the Cash Hyde Foundation Spread Smiles

• Doobons.com Sends Out Plea for Cannabis Oil Donations for Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Victim Cash Hyde

• Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Patient Latest Casualty of Medical Marijuana Crackdown

• United Patients Group Spearheads Cash Hyde Foundation Medical Marijuana Reform Movement

More and more people are discovering your amazing story everyday and hopefully people are sharing and spreading it as well, like a wildfire rolling in the wind, snatching everything in its path, spreading Cashy’s childhood cancer awareness. That’s what we need, awareness for this awful, murderous disease that is taking over our babies and loved ones.

Sometime I get so angry thinking about how little knowledge people know of childhood cancers. Why? This is one of the leading killers of our children. Cancer. Before you were diagnosed I never even knew about childhood cancer, sure I knew it existed, but I didn’t care to learn more about it. Maybe I was in denial that I would never be faced with something so deadly and destructive, let alone my perfect little baby boy like you.

How can something so common in today’s world have no reliable treatment plan. And I’m saying reliable, like life saving. Chemo and radiation are not a cure. It’s like us parents are just throwing our children in torture chambers and letting the doctors and nurses have their way with them. Let’s pump these sick kids full of adult chemotherapy drugs in pediatric doses, and radiate their whole bodies until their vomiting, till their hair falls out, till their immune system can no longer take it. Skin peeling from every part of their body from the toxic chemo that requires a bath every 8 hours to wash the chemo from their skin after it soaks through their pores causing severe burns. Then they either get an infection from the low white counts, or they finish the round and then recuperate to do it all over again. And this is the best we have for our babies? It’s unacceptable. Our country has failed us. FAILED.

I feel like if we could do this all over again, I would have chosen to do it the RIGHT way. You would have been put on the cannabis oil right away, high doses. You would probably still be here today and I know this to be true. A little 8 month old baby just beat a massive brain tumor solely with cannabis oil twice a day on his binkie. His cancer is gone! It’s amazing. I know if we wouldn’t have done the high dose chemo, and denied the radiation, you would likely still be here. But we didn’t know all that we know now. Mike did, he knew it was all a bad idea. But when you are faced with your little baby having a 4.5cm brain tumor, you panic and it’s almost like you do what you’re told. Like the Jews who were put to death by the Nazi’s. They did what they were told and it was their demise. We listened to the doctors, although we didn’t trust very many of them (geez, some of them you wonder how they even passed the medical board exam), we listened and put you through the recommended gauntlet they called pediatric cancer treatment for a stage 4 PNET brain tumor. Surgery, 6 rounds of high dose chemo with three stem cell transplants. Not to mention septic shock, bleeding lungs and life support as possible side effects from those horrific treatments.
I’m so sorry we put you through that crap Cashy. I’m so so sorry. I hope you know we tried so hard to keep you alive.
I’ll never forget those two months after your brain surgery when you were blind and so scared and dependent on both our daddy and I. The grueling brain surgery where we waited for you for 4 hours, we waited to hear anything at all promising from your world renowned brain surgeon. He came back half way through surgery, he was cold, had a stone cold face as he took us back into a tiny room to talk to us. All he could tell us was your tumor was in the blue cell tumor group and he was only able to remove 10% of your tumor. All that for only ten percent? 10 percent that grew back plus in the weeks later to 4.8cm.

We were called back after you were transferred to ICU and were stable. I remember walking through the maze of the PICU seeing all these sick frail babies on open beds and cribs, all with something awful lurking around in their bodies as well. We found you and you were sleeping soundly, you were all bloody and your hair had been shaved slightly where your incision was. You looked so tiny and helpless and all I could think about was why did this happen to you, to us? It was so unfair. Or poor baby laid helpless on this hospital bed with IVs and arterial lines running into his tiny veins. They kept drawing your sodium level because after surgery your sodium kept getting out of wack and they had to monitor it closely. This is what started your new love and craving for water, and all the water you could get. They wouldn’t let you drink water because it would dilute your sodium level even more. But you were so thirsty that you were crying and whining, you would point to your mouth in agony for more water. They let us give you tastes of water on a mouth sponge. You hated this, until you figured out that if we soaked the sponge enough with water you could suck that thing dry then ask for more. They quickly caught on to that and wouldn’t let us do that very much either. From then on your sodium levels were never the same. Your pituitary gland had been removed in surgery and we weren’t aware of this until after chemo was completely done and your were struggling for your life on life support. Your endocrine labs were out of wack and you now required synthroid and hydrocortisone to live. You had to have that every day for the rest of your short, yet amazing life.

You pulled through brain surgery like a champ. You were out of the ICU in less than 18 hours and back up to the neuro floor.

We knew right away that you couldn’t see. You were so scared and insisted Mike or I constantly be by your side on the bed. Sometimes I would try to get up and sneak to the bathroom and you would notice and you would slap your arm on the pillow indicating you wanted me back there right that instant. It was hard for us to even get a tiny bit of a break. Not that I even wanted a break, I wanted to always be by your side. I wanted you to know that we would always be there no matter what.

One thing I am very proud of is we never once left you alone in your hospital room. Mike or I were always there with you. We saw many kids alone in their rooms after hours, as parents had to go home to be with their other children. We always made sure one of us was with you at all times.

Your obsession with drinking water was your body’s way of regulating your sodium levels on its own. You would wake up almost every hour for water, you would put down 12 oz in 10 seconds. It was crazy. All that water had to go somewhere, so of course we were changing your diaper every hour as well. Often we’d wake up totally soaked in pee. Man it was an exhausting process, but I’d do it for the rest of my life if it meant you were still here with us.

Your thirst for water was an ongoing battle but sometimes it was worse than others. Eventually it leveled out, but even the night before you died you were up asking for water in the middle of the night. We always kept a big glass of water on the night stand so we wouldn’t have to get up and fill it up, but sometimes we had to. Sometimes you would be picky on what water glass we would give you to drink out of. Sometimes it was a guessing game on what you really wanted. Those last few weeks with you, you had such a temper on you! You would delegate who could do what. I’d get you a glass of water, but I would have to hand it to daddy to hand it to you or vice versa. You were like that with everything (which I blame the tumor for your irrational behavior), diaper changes, sometimes you’d insist daddy change you, then sometimes it was me, then a few times baby sis was delegated to the task, even the dog Irey changed your diaper once. That was tricky!! Haha.

We were so scared you were going to be blind forever. Until one day after your second round of chemo, we were at grandma’s house and I was making funny faces and waving my hands at you. I stuck my tongue out at you and you copied me!!! I was like hmmm, maybe he can see shadows. Well shortly after that you were able to walk again with help and we had got the news your tumor had shrunk down to nothing but a few cells at the base of your skull. We were so thrilled. I remember getting the news and running down to the camper where Mike was sleeping because he was up all night with you (We took turns every day, we would stay from 8am-8am the next morning with visits throughout the day and then we’d switch out for the next shift, we were quite the team daddy and I) and I woke him up and told him your tumor was GONE! It was a miracle and I was soooooo happy. You were getting your sight back and things were looking up. You were starting to feel better as well. Then it was like all of a sudden you could see again. After that third round of chemo you were up and playing and running around again, despite the vomiting and diarrhea. You were such a rock star, or I should say you ARE a rock star buddy.

There are so many children out there suffering from the horrible side effects of these chemos and the radiation they are getting, this is unnecessary suffering, if anyone googled the benefits of cannabis you’d have to be a friggin idiot to not know that it’s the most natural, safest and most therapeutic plant known to man. Anyone battling cancer should use cannabis first as a treatment. What’s to lose? Try the oil for a 30-60 day trial and see how it goes…what if you didn’t need to do chemo, what if you didn’t need to lose your hair or have open brain surgery? What if you didn’t need to get your brain radiated or your boobies chopped off? What if????? There’s no what IF about it. Cannabis is curing cancer and treating hundreds of debilitating diseases right in front of our eyes and people are too scared to even know the truth. I try to let people know about this miracle plant and that possibly it’s the cure to cancer (according to the Medium and Cashy, it is). I send messages to parents fighting cancer with their babies. Nobody listens. Nobody listens until it’s too late and they want the cannabis after they’ve done all the horrible treatments, well expecting the oil to work after their body has been through the gauntlet, well it’s highly unlikely. That’s where I went wrong with you Cashy. I’m so sorry I didn’t trust daddy’s instincts and refuse the radiation. I know better now. It was the death of you. I’m so sorry. Daddy and I cried in bed the other night talking about this. You just can’t radiate a baby’s brain and expect it to fix it. No, it comes with life long side effects if you can even get them to live past a few months of the radiation. It’s sickening what these doctors call treatment. No one will even know what I’m talking about until you’ve sat with your baby and sedated them with Propophol (yes that’s what Michael Jackson OD’ on) every day for 30 days, until they’ve held their baby in their arms and they pass out like a limp rag doll, then your hurried out of the room so they can intubate him and screw that awful radiation mask down to the table with your lifeless body under it. The hurt in your heart when you walk out of this giant chamber full of special walls that soak up radiation, without your baby. Then you have to wait for an hour while they pump radiation, you follow them up to recovery where you wait till you wake up. It was the most awful feeling every time. I hated leaving you on that table alone, and cold. You always came back frozen from being in that cold room all exposed. My poor sweet baby.

Radiation was short, only lasting 6 weeks but it was by far the worst thing you had to go through. I’m so sorry for that. You were such a trooper, sometimes you would even play on the jungle gym at the Ronald McDonald house afterwards. I always admired your amazing strength.

Oh how I miss you so much. So much has happened in the last few weeks. We found new homes for both our dogs Irey and Muffy. They weren’t getting the attention they needed and sure as heck would never listen to us one bit!! Irey would jump the fence immediately when we let her out. She is like a dang gazelle. She’d be gone all day, till she felt it was time to come back or she was hungry. So she went to a farm out of town with an old couple who has the time for her. Muffy went to our friend Dan’s parents in Bozeman. It’s been really lonely without the dogs, so quiet. You always cracked me up when Irey would come and jump on the bed to sit by you. You would yell “IWEY, No, get down!” It was so cute. You would yell at Muffy too when she would come sit by you on the couch. Haha.

I was so sad initially thinking about moving out of our house we have so many memories with you in it. But now that we have moved, the big move was this weekend as I know you were with us. The new house is awesome! We’re so excited about it. It’s spacious and has charm. Although the kitchen is outdated and the kitchen is MY domain, I am trying to make it cute. You can tell it hasn’t been updated since 1970. Lol. Talk about some pee green tile on the wall as border. Eww!!! Oh well, though I don’t mind it one bit. I’m just happy to have so much room now!!! The backyard is basically the woods, there’s a huge ravine, and a creek with lots of trees. Deer everywhere! Colty is in little boy heaven! Yesterday morning he ran out chasing a deer and fell into the creek before school (it’s shallow up to ankles), he required an outfit change. Goofy kid. Colten and Sissy each have their own big room and YOU even have your own room!!! I was so excited about this. You never had our own room at the other house. So this is YOUR room!! I’m gonna hang our Spider-Man poster and some other things. I had an awful dream that you were wandering around the house looking for us and you were so sad. I woke up bummed.

Sometimes we swear Catherine Joy is you in disguise! What 10 month old baby loves to play with matchbox cars??? Umm not many!!! I constantly find sissy playing with your cars at the old house, well two days ago I couldn’t find her for a sec and I found her in your room playing with your cars, lol. Then yesterday, I found her playing with two of your band aids, I had no idea where she even found them, as we’ve moved and everything is in disarray. There are just so many similarities with you and Sissy. I love that. It’s almost like we get a do over with her. Cashy keep her healthy and protect her, as I’m sure you are.

While in the midst of packing and sorting through Cashy and Cat’s things last week, one of Mike’s friends little girl was over and she is a few months younger than Cashy. She goes, “too bad the baby doesn’t have her own room,” I go “well she does now,” and Autumn goes “well, where is your other baby going sleep?” I told her that Cashy died (assuming she wouldn’t know what passed away meant), she gets all concerned and goes “your baby died?” She was so bummed about it, and a little bit later she comes up to me, “I miss Cashy so much.” I was like “I do too honey.” She was just so cute, and it always blows my mind when I see kids your age Cashy. They seem so big and grown up and they all talk so well. It hurts my heart to think that, that’s how you should be. Running around, talking in sentences, playing in the dirt with guns and worms. Being a little boy. You were robbed of that life buddy. You were robbed of a normal little boy life. I prayed every night for that for you. I’m glad we had a few good months in between. When little Autumn was born she was born with a small deformity on both her hands and feet. I remember thinking when she was born that it was the most awful thing that could happen, and I’m a nurse so obviously I’ve seen worse. I remember thinking, “thank god that didn’t happen to my sweet Cashy” who was born three months earlier. God, now I’d trade deformed legs, arms, hands, feet, cleft palette any of those for cancer. They’re all cosmetic. Then 4 months later my good friend Megan’s baby girl was born with two holes in her heart and would require surgery before she was 1. This was devastating as well, again I was so thankful it wasn’t my baby, but I hurt for my friend who was so scared for her baby. But now, Baylee is a healthy happy little 4 year old girl, who just chopped her hair off with scissors! Lol.

While packing i found your missing crocs with fur inside of them. Tucked in them were some dirty socks. I smelled them and was able to smell your stinky feet. You always got a huge kick out of us smelling your toes and saying,”peew!!!” I cried so hard when I found all your shoes, most of them are single now as they dont have a match. Breaks my heart.

Well, we’re finally settled in our house, daddy has a foundation office as well and we’re planning a Reggae Jam concert with Pato Banton again for the foundation at the Top Hat on April 11th! We’re so excited about this!!! I hope everyone can come out and show their support! It’ll be free to the public!

My good friend Jacque came to town the other weekend as we had planned to do a ski day at Snowbowl. So we ski’d Saturday and tore it up on the east bowls and had a blast! Jacques a damn good skier!! We could all use a lesson from her. I told her she was like an angel on the snow! lol . Unfortunately, one of our near and dear friends Nikki Lynn from high school passed away and we attended her funeral the next day. It was such an amazing turn out and it was a great celebration of Nikki’s life. RIP Nikki, watch over my Cashy for me. I know you are! Nikki, I hope you know how many people love and care for you and your giant heart. No more funeral for me please!!!!!

Daddy went to LA that weekend and set up a foundation booth at the High Times Cannabis Cup. Cashy you still are a well known celebrity in the cannabis community! Daddy is so passionate about this movement and I really admire his dedication and perseverance. I love you babe! He had a real good time and got to spread your story to more people!

I always try and make it a point to tell someone new your story. Even at the YMCA when I go and workout I usually give out a bracelet or two, just spreading Cashy’s Cancer Awareness! It’s the least I can do. I want everyone in the world to know what a fight you put on for the world to see and even though you’re gone, you’ve touched so many lives in your short time on this earth.

I had a great dream of you yesterday while I was taking a nap before work. We were at some kind of water park and I was in the pool trying to get you to jump in, you jumped in and grabbed on to me and we were floating around and we had our arms wrapped around each other and I kept telling you, “I love you and miss you so much.” It was so great. It was like we were reuniting for a quick swim! Loved it. Keep them coming buddy!!

Well I must end this post sometime, so with that, I’ll say that I love you to the moon and back to infinity and beyond and miss you so much. Give daddy a dream of you please, he’s yet to have one and he’s broken about it.

To learn more about or to help out the Cash Hyde Foundation, please visit www.CashHydeFoundation.com or to follow Cashy’s Battle Blog.

UnitedPatientsGroup.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight pediatric cancer! Thank you for your support!

UnitedPatientsGroup and The Cash Hyde Foundation:

• Our Journey has brought us some amazing stories…

• Doobons.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight Pediatric Cancer

• Medical Cannabis Resource Site Doobons.com Helps the Cash Hyde Foundation Spread Smiles

• Doobons.com Sends Out Plea for Cannabis Oil Donations for Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Victim Cash Hyde

• Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Patient Latest Casualty of Medical Marijuana Crackdown

• United Patients Group Spearheads Cash Hyde Foundation Medical Marijuana Reform Movement

Newsweed-worthy

February 14, 2013
NYC won’t put you and your marijuana in jail anymore
In the city’s attempt to decriminalize marijuana, Mayor Bloomberg changed his stance on marijuana enforcement from spending the night in jail to showing ID and passing a warrant check. If you meet the requirements, you’re a free bird… with a court date of course. With New York City’s reputation of having the highest number of marijuana arrests in the world and disproportionately targeting minorities, this is a big step towards progress.

February 20, 2013
North Carolina shoots down medical marijuana bill in just 20 minutes…Yikes
The House Rules Committee rejected a bill that would have legalized medical marijuana and made North Carolina the 19th state to join the medicinal movement. But after listening to public medical marijuana advocates for only 20 minutes, the House gave an unfavorable report of the bill – which, in the case of North Carolina lawmaking, means “the contents of that bill or the principal provisions of its subject matter shall not be considered in any other measure originating in the Senate or originating thereafter in the House.” Try again, North Carolina…next year.

February 22, 2013
Capitol Hill gets a new neighbor: D.C.’s first medical marijuana dispensary
Capital City Care, the capital city’s first medical marijuana dispensary, plans to open its doors this April. D.C. Council approved the legalization of MMJ three years ago, but the law went into effect only two years ago. Now, the capital can be cared for with this latest (and greatest) provider – touting the only cultivation license in the city.

Wild Weeds

February 15, 2013
Maryland looks to crackdown on the latest craze: Synthetic Weed
The accessibility and use of synthetic weed has recently been on the rise amongst high schoolers and college students. More and more students are being hospitalized for reactions to the synthetic street drug, and is calling the attention of policy makers in Maryland to ban/move it onto the list of controlled dangerous substances. The process will be a hard one, as manufacturers can do as little as change the molecular structure and make it a new, unlisted drug, but the crackdown needs to happen, and soon.

Well-Weeded

February 6, 2013
Award amongst the angst: Harborside Health Center awarded Commendation of Service by Alameda Board of Supervisors
Despite its “dramatic and rocky” ongoing fight with the US Federal Courts, Harborside Health Center was recently recognized by the Alameda Board of Supervisors for the holistic service it provided to the community in the past 6 years. The Northern California health center is the largest dispensary in the nation, and now faces legal entanglements that we can only hope they fight off. In the midst of tumult, it’s nice to hear that not everyone in leadership positions think or feel the same way about a plant (or group) that provides widespread help.

The Laws To Date For Recreational-Use States:
Colorado Law:
Amendment 64 basically states that employers are free to regulate their employees’ “use, consumption, possession, transfer, display, transportation, sale or growing of marijuana” however they want. They are not required to permit recreational use and they can restrict it according to their own company policies. As employees, it’s important to realize that company policies on this matter can vary. If you’re concerned about whether or not enjoying marijuana recreationally is kosher with your company, make sure to check the policies and stay up to date on any changes that will be made in the future.

Washington Law:
The verbiage of Washington’s law overall avoids requiring employers to take any action or to permit any conduct in the workplace.  It also does not affect any aspect of Washington’s existing Medical Use of Marijuana Act, which, according to the Washington Supreme Court, does not make employment protections for applicants/employees. So, similar to Colorado, employers can enforce drug policies however they choose and as an employee, you should make sure you know where your company stands.

Main Employee/Employer Protections Under Medical Marijuana Laws:
According to Connecticut’s medical marijuana laws, which reflect the same regulations as other states that have legalized marijuana for medical use, employees who are registered patients or caregivers are protected from hiring discrimination. You are also protected from being fired or threatened solely based on your status as a qualified patient or caregiver.

Connecticut and other states also keep employers from presuming “that a drug test result that is positive for marijuana means that the employee used at work or was under the influence at work.”

However, employers have the right to prohibit the use of “intoxicating substances, including medicinal marijuana, during work hours,” and can discipline employees for being under the influence at work. These laws also tend to agree that “an employer may discriminate against an employee or applicant user of medical marijuana if required by federal funding or contracting provisions.”

Key Considerations for Employees

• These laws are constantly changing. Make sure you are on the same page as your employer when it comes to your marijuana usage, both medical and recreational. Stay up to date on any changes your company may introduce to its drug and alcohol policies.
• Marijuana is still illegal across the board under federal law. Employers can discriminate against employees in federally funded and contracted positions.
• However, in many states where marijuana is legal, employees are protected from discrimination based on their patient or caregiver status.

If you’re looking for more information about how marijuana regulation affects you as an employee, contact us today. We’re also interested in hearing stories about your experiences with this topic – comment below or send us an email.

I am grateful for the time we did get with you.  But I think as the days go by, the pain gets worse, but it’s tolerable pain.  Like a normal, tolerable pain.  As tolerable, I mean, I can drive to the store to get groceries without crying 60% of the time.  You were my shopping buddy, my partner in crime, my buddy who sat behind me doing the fist pump to the song “pumped up kicks,” or you would be in the back squealing as we went over the big bumps down the hill on Garrett Street.  You loved that.  I remember one of the last times we went over those big dips you didn’t really enjoy it, I looked back as we went over it and you had this look like you were holding on for dear life with a sort of ‘nauseated’ look on your face, that was one of our last trips to Walmart.  God I miss having you, my shopping buddy, with me when I’m at Walmart.  I hardly ever go there now. I just can’t bare it without you.  Those last few months with you, you were so funny how adamant you were about going to Walmart to get either, playdough, markers or stickers.  We had to drop everything we were doing to go to Walmart, right then.  Sometimes we went twice a day.  Daddy enjoyed taking you to Walmart too.  I can’t even type this without bawling right now.  I wish I could take you one more time, just one more ride in the car, one more ride in the shopping cart, one more big kiss on your soft lips.  I miss you so much, I want to snuggle your little body and squeeze your little bootie. I miss every little thing about you, I feel like I’m stuck in this giant awful world forever without you. It hurts so bad.

I had to take a break from writing this to dry my eyes and collect my thoughts.  It’s funny how most the time I’ll be completely fine, I’ll be able to talk about you to people, especially when I’m at work, I often find myself talking about you after I get the dreaded question, “how many kids do you have?”  I always say three, and sometimes I’ll go into detail about you, mostly after feeling out my patient and deciding if I want to even go there with them.  Most of the time all my patients have heard of you.  You’re a local celebrity around Missoula!  Sometimes they haven’t heard of you so I tell them all about you and how brave and strong you were.

We’ve had a few busy past couple of weeks.  That’s what I like, to keep busy.  Because when I slow down and breath, or look at your adorable pictures I get nauseated, I get dizzy and I realize holy shit, you’re really gone aren’t you…  I do better when I’m busy, when I have tasks, lists, and projects to finish.  Our latest project is packing up stuff around the house little by little.  During this two and a half year struggle with you, we also struggled with bills and money.  In June, daddy and I made the decision to quit making the mortgage payment so we could focus on caring for you and getting the medicine we needed to try to save your life, and most importantly keep you comfortable.  It sure costs ALOT to keep a steady flow of oil around, even for a 21 lb little squirt like you!   So the house is going up for auction and foreclosure March 25^th, which is getting close.  So we need to wrap up our decision on what and where we are going to go.  The old me would have been freaking out and having a nervous breakdown about this, but the new me, ahhh I’m not scared!  Bring it on world!

I applied for a nursing license in the state of California, will this be our next adventure in life!?? I don’t know.  The thought of moving out of Missoula scares the crap out of me.  I was born and raised in Missoula and the only time I’ve not been in Missoula was when we were fighting cancer with you.  I have learned to adjust that’s for sure.  But moving away!! That’s just scary!  But I know you will guide us the whole way, so I’m not scared one bit!

So Wednesday night the 23rd of January we headed back up to Corinne and John’s cabin in Darby, Montana.  We had Mike’s buddies Dan and Troy and Colten John with us and we went skiing the next day at Lost Trail Mountain.  On our way there it was dark but as we were driving to get to their dirt road, along beside us a giant bird was soaring right beside the car, we were like, “holy cow what is that!!??”  Well, it sat up on the fence post and just disappeared, and then as we’re taking our turn and going straight all of a sudden there is that bird again, it was a giant white and grey owl!!! So beautiful and pure, it literally looked us in the eye again and then flew away.  Crazy thing is your daddy had a dream you were an owl!!!   Just another confirmation you’re with us in spirit.

The next day was such a nice ski day!!! Sun was shining and we all tore it up! until daddy and his clumsiness fell while trying to stop and look for Colten, who was behind us all. He fell and hurt his shoulder pretty bad.  He had to ski down to the lift then up to the next lift, where he then had to go up two different rope tows with using only one arm, momma felt bad for him.

Well, that next day we flew as a family to Scottsdale, Arizona where my best friend Janess and her hubby Jamison (our website guy) and their lovely little terrorizer of a daughter Slade live!

Janess works for Infiniti of Scottsdale car dealership and they sponsored 10 Reggae Runners to donate to their local Children’s Hospital.  So we got to build them in their big showroom, there was over 20 adults and kids there to help.  It was amazing and so much fun.  Then we took them to Phoenix Children’s Hospital and got to deliver the runners to the oncology floor.  It was so much fun, immediately there were two boys (that were obviously too big for the cars) that kept trying to squeeze themselves in them.  It was fun to watch!  Lol.

This hospital was amazing, lights that changed colors all over the floors, giant chandeliers hanging.  It was beautiful!  You would have loved this place, for a hospital it was dang cool!

Thank you Infiniti of Scottsdale and all your employees who took the time out of their day to come and help out by putting the cars together, mounting the IV poles and then stickering them up.  We couldn’t thank you all enough for helping spread Cashy story! We’re changing the world, one Reggae Runner at a time!

Janess and I got our toes done the next day and we all went to Dave and Busters and played some games. Colten was in heaven!  Sladey was too, lol!  We went home bright and early that Monday morning.  I hate having to say goodbye to friends and loved ones.   Love you guys!

We got home and organized ourselves for the week to come.  I had to work that night we got back.  But it wasn’t so bad.

Last Friday we got the pleasure to meet with a medium and a clairvoyant healer.  This was such an amazing experience I won’t even be able to explain everything, but it was such an exhilarating experience.  Basically, you are around us all the time (Which we already knew that).

She told us you weren’t in any pain, you thanked us for using the oil to control your pain, and that we did a good job with that.  She told us that you come to us in colors and in smoke (like incense or sage, we often burn both throughout the day).  She told us that you sit on the end of our bed in a turned manner, she said you said that your older and more mature now and you don’t need to lay in bed with us, you want to give us privacy now.  Lol.  That made us laugh, as you can imagine having a 4 year old in your bed, you get clever in ways to have “adult” time. Lol.  You told us that you come to Colty often and talk to him, you told us he’s ok and he’s going to be fine.  That makes me happy.  You told us to go “south” which confirmed that maybe we do need to move to California.  You also told us that you are so thankful for the foundation and that we will be helping thousands of children by what we’re doing.  That makes us feel so good.  You also told us that cannabis IS the cure to cancer, but it will have to remain an underground thing as the government doesn’t want a cure for cancer.   That’s the whole goal with the foundation, to spread pediatric cancer awareness and to tell the world your story.  I hope we can make you proud buddy.   I could have sat and talked with the medium about you all day long, 45 minutes went by way too fast.

I’m just very thankful to have been able to do that.  It was life changing and confirmed everything we had already known, that you’re forever with us in our hearts and our souls.  I love and miss you so much buddy.

So after the medium we packed up and went back up to Darby that evening with the kids and Colten’s friend Sierra. We stayed Friday till Monday afternoon.  It was so relaxing; we blessed the full size teepee with some sage and had a nice fire in it.  We watched movies, we lounged and wore sweats all weekend.

Sunday we got ready and drove up to Lost Trail Hot Springs where we soaked in the hot pool for a bit.  So I’m sitting in the hot tub and I hear a mom yell, “Cash come here!”  I turned and said, “Mike, that little boy’s name is Cash,” he looked about 4 years old.  I thought that was really neat.  Well, not even 10 minute later another family walked in with a little boy about 4 years old wearing Cars swim trunks, your favorite!  I now hear the other mom say “Cash” then the first mom goes, “oh wow, there are two Cashys here today!” Now I’m like WHAT??!!  In your 4 years of life, I never ever ran into another little boy named Cash, now there are two and can you believe Johnny Cash is playing on the radio??!!  We were baffled and I actually got all teary eyed. It was like you were saying, “Yeah, I’m here and I can swim and play like a normal little boy again.”  So were sitting with the family of the second Cash and turns out he had an older brother named Colten!!!  How Effin ironic is that!! I was blown away and again Cashy you have out done yourself.

So I carry you with me in my heart Cashy, forever and always.  It’s crazy to think how far we’ve come in life.  Where we are now and where we used to be.  Somedays, I’d give anything to be sitting up in that hospital room with you fighting cancer, because it would mean you’re alive, fighting.  But then I remember how unfair and selfish that is, how could I be so selfish that I’d want you to be in the hospital with IV’s and chemo dripping? I’m not gonna lie, I’ve pondered it a lot.  I’ve also thought about how you left us, I’ve thought about how it looks like we just let you die.  Like we just gave up and quit treating you.  I hope you don’t think that’s what we did. I hope you know we fought so hard for you, we tried everything from the inhumane cancer treatments to the natural approach.  That cancer was just too powerful.  That evil evil cancer.  Sometimes you just have to say it, “Fuck you cancer.”

We have met so many inspiring people since we have taken this journey with you Cashy.  I know it’s your plan. Out of all the cliché sayings in life, the one that now holds the most meaning to me is, “to live everyday to the fullest, because as I have now learned, life can be over in the blink of an eye.”

It shouldn’t be this way, but it is. As much as I hate to say this, life is suffering.  As much as I am angry at what has happened to us, the fact of the matter is, it has happened and no amount of anger, sadness and bitterness is going to bring you back.  Our outcome, our life of losing you, will never change. I have no control of that but I do have a little control over the way I choose to live my life now. I don’t want to be “the mom,” who lost you and who let it destroy everything. I don’t want to be looked at as “the mom,” who can’t survive this. I want to be looked at as the mirror image of you, someone who possessed such strength and love. Who took on the world with such fire and passion and who never gave up.

I’m not done with this world, as I have too much to fight for. I feel like I was put here on this earth to be more than what I am. I feel like you will help me achieve this, as there is now a fire that burns inside of me even as I sleep.  I’m not completely ready to face the world, but I feel a little more ready than I felt a couple of weeks ago.  Bring it on world, what could possibly happen that could be worse than losing you.  My precious boy that I carried in my womb, that I loved and cared for like nobody else could.

I try to keep my sanity by working out 4 days a week or so… Spinning class is still my favorite.  We listen to the latest hits and take commands from the instructor. Lol.  As my friend Brooke would say negatively, “who wants to listen to someone’s playlist and get yelled at for an hour?” Lol, I love it, I really do think it keeps me mentally stable.  Haha.

That night after the visit with the medium, I had my first vivid dream of you. It was short but wonderful. I was chasing you on the beach, we were running along the shore and you were laughing and running, you had your black North Face sweater on, and your jeans rolled up to your knees. I was running after you in the water, and that was it.  Short but sweet.  Then the amazing thing was, I woke up and checked my Facebook account and I had a message from a friend from work Olivia. She is the one who did your hand molds after you passed (I still don’t know how you were able to do that Olivia, but I praise you for that, thank you thank you, you don’t even know how special it is to us. It’s the most special thing to have. It’s like holding his hand in real life).  So her message was that she had a dream of Cash and I and we were running on the beach together.  How crazy is that???!!! Well, probably not crazy at all to you.  So thank you for that Cashy.  I love you buddy.

So we were contacted by a group out of Michigan called Michigan Compassion. They raised enough money to put your picture and our foundation logo on a billboard on their super busy highway in Detroit!!  We’re so excited about this! It’s so awesome!!! Now what other cancer patient has their own billboard sign!?  None that I know of!!! You rock Cashy!  Thank you Michigan Compassion and all the sponsors that helped donate! So kind and heartfelt of you all.

With that, I must end this post.  So much has happened and so much will continue to happen by you all continuously spreading Cashy’s story!  He’s a true saint that boy.

Love you Cashy, sweet dreams wherever you are, I hope you’re safe and warm.  I love you to the moon and back and infinity and beyond buddy.  One love. 

To learn more about or to help out the Cash Hyde Foundation, please visit www.CashHydeFoundation.com or to follow Cashy’s Battle Blog.

UnitedPatientsGroup.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight pediatric cancer! Thank you for your support!

UnitedPatientsGroup and The Cash Hyde Foundation:

• Our Journey has brought us some amazing stories…

• Doobons.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight Pediatric Cancer

• Medical Cannabis Resource Site Doobons.com Helps the Cash Hyde Foundation Spread Smiles

• Doobons.com Sends Out Plea for Cannabis Oil Donations for Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Victim Cash Hyde

• Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Patient Latest Casualty of Medical Marijuana Crackdown

• United Patients Group Spearheads Cash Hyde Foundation Medical Marijuana Reform Movement

Voters’ push to loosen marijuana laws reflects widespread public opinion that pot is both beneficial in treating medical conditions and poses little, if any, risk. Is this an accurate perception or a pipe dream?

Marijuana — a.k.a weed, grass, pot, cannabis — is typically a product of the dried flowers, leaves, stems and seeds of the Cannabis sativa plant. It has been used medically, and recreationally, throughout the world for somewhere between 3,000 and 5,000 years. Many believe Chinese emperor Shen-Nung was the first to prescribe it, in 2700 B.C. By the 1800s, marijuana, along with other plant-based remedies, made its way west and into the black leather bags of American physicians, who prescribed the herb for various problems ranging from insomnia to sexual dysfunction.

Today pot is the most widely used illicit substance in the world. An estimated 119 million to 224 million people across the globe used cannabis in 2010. In the United States more than 18 million people older than 12 — roughly seven percent of the population — reported having used marijuana within the past month in 2011.

Despite this long history, we have far less clinical evidence about marijuana’s effects than many other, newer drugs. That’s largely because it’s illegal in most countries. In the United States, pot, like heroin and LSD, is classified as a Schedule I drug. This designation — which appellate courts as recently as Jan. 25 declined to alter — means that, despite state laws, according to the federal government, it has no approved medicinal use and possesses a high potential for abuse. The only authorized source of marijuana for research is grown at the University of Mississippi and is controlled by the National Institute on Drug Abuse, which favors studying potential risks rather than benefits of cannabis. Cannabis’ illegal status also makes it difficult to find funding for research.

Still, some medical benefits have credibly been demonstrated. Marijuana is effective in managing chronic pain, which afflicts about 100 million Americans. It can improve appetite in AIDS patients and can treat nausea and vomiting in cancer patients undergoing chemotherapy.

As for other conditions that marijuana has been touted to treat, like epilepsy and multiple sclerosis, clinical proof is still meager and inconclusive. Pot was once considered a boon for glaucoma patients, but the Glaucoma Foundation does not recommend its use because while it can reduce pressure in sufferers’ eyes, relief lasts only three to four hours. Meaningful help would require multiple doses a day, and since marijuana affects blood pressure, it is possible that it could make glaucoma worse.

Risks commonly associated — though not necessarily caused by marijuana — like its trigger effect for schizophrenia, cognitive decline, and a connection with testicular cancer, aren’t entirely understood either.

Among the most convincing findings for marijuana as medicine is a 2007 study at San Francisco General Hospital, in which marijuana helped relieve peripheral neuropathic pain in HIV patients. Neuropathy, which can be caused by a variety of disorders including cancer chemotherapy, is a debilitating, burning sensation of the hands and feet. This is the condition outspoken Los Angeles City Councilman Bill Rosendahl told the Los Angeles Times he uses marijuana for.

In the San Francisco General study, 25 patients smoked three marijuana joints a day over a five-day period and reported a 34 percent reduction in pain. By comparison, the 25 patients who received placebo cigarettes, which looked and smelled like marijuana but without the active ingredient, THC (short for delta-9 tetrahydrocannabinol), reported only a 17 percent reduction.

Another study at the same hospital, conducted in 2011, found that the addition of marijuana reduced pain for patients already being treated with opioid drugs. When 21 patients taking either long-acting morphine or Oxycontin twice a day added inhaled marijuana via a vaporizer to their regime, pain was decreased by an average of 27 percent. The marijuana did not significantly alter the blood levels of the prescription drugs. This finding might prove helpful in combating the current epidemic of opiate overdoses in our country.

Pot therapy has limitations, though. Marijuana contains more than 480 chemicals, 66 of which are cannabinoids. These interact with receptors in different parts of the brain that control just about everything, including: pleasure, memory, thinking, concentration, movement, coordination, and sensory and time perception. These receptors are abundant and complex. Activation for one purpose can spark other undesired effects. The properties that reduce pain, for example, are entwined with those that elicit mind-altering effects. That may not be a deterrent for someone terminally ill with cancer. But a construction worker with a pinched nerve isn’t going to want to operate a forklift while high.

In addition to relieving pain and eliciting the euphoric “high” feeling that attracts recreational users, marijuana can increase heart rate, appetite and sensory perception; diminish coordination and cause short-term memory loss, anxiety, paranoia and sometimes even psychotic episodes.

Most people smoke pot rather than ingest it in food like brownies or tea, because the effects are immediate. Marijuana contains many of the same toxins as tobacco, but does not appear to diminish lung function the way cigarette smoking does, possibly because marijuana smokers tend to smoke less. In a recent, long-term study of more than 5,000 participants, moderate users — those smoking up to a joint a day for seven years — showed no decline in lung function. There were too few heavy users (those smoking two or more joints a day) in study to evaluate effects among that group. The study did not investigate other lung issues, like cancer or chronic bronchitis.

Mental illness, especially schizophrenia, has long been linked with marijuana use. Many studies suggest that smoking pot, especially in adolescence when the brain is still developing, can trigger schizophrenia in people predisposed to the illness, as well as worsening symptoms in those already diagnosed . But this adds to a persistent conundrum: The prevalence of schizophrenia has remained at about one percent of the population, while marijuana use has increased exponentially over the past six decades.

More recently, researchers have suggested a link between chronic pot use and a decline in intelligence. Last year, a team of international researchers reported observing an eight-point IQ decline among chronic marijuana users who’d begun using in early adolescence. Researchers studied more than 1,000 New Zealanders, who were tested at ages 13 and again at 38. The drop was found among participants who said they had become dependent on the drug by age 18. Critics point out that the decline could be due to participants’ socioeconomic factors, such as income and education that contribute to their adolescent marijuana use.

Either way, teens in this country don’t appear too concerned. Marijuana use among high school students is at a 30-year high. Some 6.5 percent of high school seniors smoke marijuana daily, while 23 percent report having smoked it in the previous month, according to the most recent annual survey funded by the National Institute of Drug Abuse. The report also showed continued popularity for synthetic pot, which is made from herbs and chemicals and mimics pots intoxicating effects. Marketed under names like “spice” and “K2,” synthetic marijuana could be purchased legally until recently.

Experts debate whether marijuana is a “gateway” drug that leads to more serious substance use. However, there’s a general consensus that it is addictive for about 9 percent of users, versus 32 percent for nicotine, 17 percent for cocaine and 15 percent for alcohol.

More alarming: Some 19 percent of teens report having driven stoned, according to a recent survey by Liberty Mutual Insurance and SADD (Students Against Destructive Decisions). More than just teens drive while under pot’s influence: Almost one in five motor vehicle deaths, U.S. auto safety regulators report, involved either cocaine or marijuana use; in a 1994 study of 175 motorists stopped by police in Tennessee for reckless driving, mean age 27, 68 tested positive for marijuana. In California, 7.4 percent of drivers were found to have marijuana in their system, according to a November survey conducted by the California Office of Traffic Safety.

Driving within three hours of smoking marijuana puts you at nearly twice the risk of having an accident that leads to serious injury or death than being sober, according to a recent research review of newly 50,000 drivers in several countries.

One would assume that not getting behind the wheel shortly after toking is a no-brainer. Likewise, common sense suggests little good will come from excessive, chronic recreational marijuana use, or indulgence by adolescents and young adults, in the midst of sensitive brain development. However, occasional use by adults generally is unlikely to cause serious long-term health consequences. But users should be aware that, unregulated by an agency like the FDA, pot’s purity and potency vary greatly.

As for cannabis’ medicinal potential, I strongly urge the federal government to heed the American Medical Association recommendation and review the drug’s classification so more meaningful research can be undertaken. Classifying it as a Schedule II drug, similar to amphetamines and opiates, would go a long way toward moving the field along to better examine its benefits and risks, while still retaining control over its use as a medication. We need more science and less blather from blue-noses and stoners both about a substance as potent as pot. It’s neither a prudent nor productive analogy, at present, to compare marijuana to alcohol or tobacco and to conclude blithely that, as a matter of public policy, just because there are so many users, we should just turn an absolute blind eye; it also has not shifted the situation to call marijuana evil and advocate its elimination as part of a “war” with doubtful outcomes. We’ve grown wiser and more cautious in many ways about booze and cigarettes — for significant, scientific health reasons. We should see marijuana in enlightened fashion, too, neither demonizing nor glorifying it and discussing its role in our lives and our society with eyes wide open and common sense in gear.

Glenn D. Braunstein, M.D. – Vice President of Clinical Innovation, at Cedars-Sinai

To some, marijuana is limited to the highly-stigmatized “stoner” label. Associated with laziness, danger, and an unsuccessful lifestyle, this image is a mixture of anecdote and creativity by the media (and its government counterparts) to be used as a prevention tactic. Teens and young adults are primarily the targets of this method of drug abuse prevention, and understandably so.

However, prevention methods need a re-direct. Instilling negativity with a plant that benefits a number of people is not only unfair, but increases discrimination – the bad kind that leaves others socially rejected or charged. Instead of sharing negative imagery with malleable minds, understand and share the fact that everyday people utilize this plant for various needs. It’s the truth and it doesn’t hurt.

Literally, everyday people use marijuana. The demographics, although fuzzy (because of lack of permitted documentation and reporting), are vast. Below is a sampling of a statewide empirical analysis of the medical marijuana users in California studied by UCSC:

• User age ranges from 25 to 34 (27.5 percent), 35 to 44 (21.3 percent) and 45 to 54 (20.4 percent).
• ¾ users are men, ⅗ users are women
• Most prevalent users are white, least prevalent users are Asian
• Patients cite using MMJ to relieve pain, spasms, anxiety, headache, nausea and help with sleep and relaxation

Some of those “Everyday People”

Baby Boomers

If you haven’t noticed already, our Baby Boomers have reached that point in their lives where health and well-being have to be carefully monitored. They experience numerous bodily problems, diseases, and suffer from pain due to old age. To cope, they turn to pharmaceuticals and routines that can get complicated, toxic, or overwhelming. However, more and more seniors have discovered the all-natural relief from marijuana and find it a better way to deal with their pain.

Chronic Pain & Cancer Patients

Recent research and news have shed light on marijuana’s effects on sick or cancer-stricken patients. Most of them share similar issues (nausea, loss of appetite, dizziness, eye pressure, etc). As a choice, some add marijuana to their treatments in order to relieve themselves more comfortably. Even children with cancer, like Cashy Hyde or Mykayla Comstock, have turned to the medicinal herb for help in their everyday survival.

All in all, this medication transcends boundaries of race, age and gender. If you’re a patient seeking an alternative treatment for pain management, don’t let stereotypes keep you from trying cannabis. We have worked with patients ranging from children to seniors who have seen incredible improvements in their quality of life after adding medical marijuana to their regimen.

Will Dixie Botanicals work for me?

Each individual is unique and has different wellness goals they are interested in addressing though the consumption and application of the Dixie Botanicals products. While we are not medical professionals and cannot make medical claims, the feedback we have received from a variety of patients and consumers alike has been overwhelmingly positive. As with any health condition, we also encourage you to confer with your physician or healthcare practitioner about Dixie Botanicals supplements, and develop the most appropriate health and wellness regimen for your specific needs.

Is the primary plant constituent in Dixie Botanicals synthetic?

No. Dixie Botanicals Hemp Oil Wellness Products are derived from a Hemp stalk and seed extract. We are proud to offer this form of high quality hemp oil that is naturally grown, and not chemically synthesized in a lab, with naturally-occurring CBDs.

The hemp oil we use is biologically created in hemp plants and our methodology isolates and extracts it. We then infuse this hemp oil with naturally-occurring plant constituent into our line of hemp products.
Dixie Botanicals Science Director, Tamar Wise, elaborates:

 

Do these products contain CBD?

We have revised our labels for our small containers, and these small labels do not have enough room for the Supplement Facts box.  Thus, we are using a provision in the FDA supplement labeling regulations for streamlined labels.  But then we include the full Supplement Facts box—which includes the precise amount of CBDs per serving of each supplement—upon request, and in this website.  Please see these Facts boxes under the Tab “Product Descriptions.”   Also, please see the attached lab tests for confirmation.

Dixie Botanicals Hemp Oil Wellness Products are labeled, marketed, and sold as dietary supplements (sometimes called food supplements or “nutraceuticals”).  We are not medical professionals; our products are not drugs; and thus we are unable to offer “dose” or “dosing” recommendations.  We ask that you work with your individual medical professional to determine the appropriate amounts for your health and wellness goals.

Do you lab test your products?

All of our products are tested multiple times during the manufacturing process, using both traditional ISO 17 025 chemical testing facilities.

Are Dixie Botanical products legal?

Our hemp oil-derived wellness products are legal to consume both here in the U.S. and in many countries abroad. The FDA considers hemp oil as a dietary supplement product and our parent company MJNA imports its naturally-derived raw hemp oil under approved tariff codes to its FDA- registered and GMP-certified facility in the U.S. Dixie Botanicals’ parent company, Medical Marijuana, Inc., MJNA, is a publicly traded company (see link http://www.otcmarkets.com/stock/MJNA/quote ) that does not grow, sell or distribute any substances in ways that violate United States Law or the Controlled Substance Act.

Will Dixie Botanicals make me feel “high”?

We are not aware of any psychotropic effects associated with using these hemp oil supplement products. The complete product line of Dixie Botanicals is consistently tested throughout the formulation and manufacturing process to ensure that the products meet all local, state and Federal laws, regulations, and guidelines.  The supplements contain no drug ingredients.

Will I pass a drug test?

The hemp oil in our product contains CBD which is a legal cannabinoid from hemp, and will show up in a drug test (5/8 or10 panel screen). We have no way of knowing if you will or will not pass a drug test as there are too many variables to know for sure. A separate test just for THC can be administered.  The facts are that our supplement contains under .3% of THC, and the general rule is that 1%.  But some of these drug tests are very sensitive.  And if a consumer or employee fails the initial screening test, then follow-up tests may be mandatory.

How long will it take me to receive my order?

You can expect your order to arrive in 5-7 business days, assuming shipment through the United States Postal Service. Orders received by 1:00 MST on Fridays are shipped the next business day.

Are Dixie Botanicals products made in the USA?

Yes, all Dixie Botanicals products are manufactured in our state of the art production facility located in Phoenix, Arizona. We are proud to be a company that not only produces an innovative line of hemp oil products, but also does so in the U.S.

Why are your products so expensive?

Dixie Botanicals is a hemp oil wellness line of products using both the stalk and the seed of the Hemp plant.  It represents a significant capital investment of millions of dollars to bring these products to the Continental U.S.  Red Dice Holdings has a staff of over 25 individuals, including a team of scientists, engineers and clinical herbalists based in the U.S. working to formulate, develop and produce Dixie Botanicals. The technology is new and by most standards, revolutionary. All of these components, including strict chemical analysis testing regimens provided by a certified ISO 17-025 testing facility, directly impact the cost to produce Dixie Botanicals products. We are committed to providing the highest quality products to our customers:  efficacy and safety balanced with integrity and sustainability.

What is the Compassionate Care Club and how does it work?

The Dixie Botanicals Compassion Care Club offers you the opportunity to receive a 25% discount on your ongoing purchases using our auto order system.  For more information, visit the Compassionate Care Club page.

Can you tell me more about the success of the product, for example sales numbers?

Our company policy is that we don’t discuss sales revenue or statistics.  Our new Dixie Botanicals product line is being received very well across the country by patients and consumers alike.

Will Dixie Botanicals products ever be available in grocery and health food stores?

We are currently in discussion with several major retail chains and hope to offer Dixie Botanicals through those retail partners soon.

We have a solution. Become a member of our Compassionate Care Club and make your experience simple, affordable and convenient.

Here are some of the benefits you’ll enjoy as a member:

• Our lowest possible pricing, 25% discount off retail.
• Free Shipping on your initial order.
• Access to our initial order.
• Access to our news, latest developments and bonus offers available only to Compassionate Care Club members.

The Compassionate Care Club is a 12 month auto re-order program. Once enrolled, you will receive the same order every month and your credit card will be charged automatically. You will receive the benefit of know your Dixie Botanicals Hemp Wellness Products are on their way to your door. There is a 3 month minimum obligation. If the Compassionate Care Club member chooses to terminate enrollment in the program in the first 3 months a $50 administration fee will be charged.

To discontinue your enrollment in the Compassionate Care Club please e-mail customerservice@dixiebotanicals.com.

To join just select any of our products from our online store and you will be presented with the option to join the club for that item prior to adding the item to your cart.

A Move Away from the War on Drugs

1. Feds crack down less (sort of) - In December 2012, Obama broke his silence on marijuana legalization during an interview with Barbara Walters. Since the approval of regulating cannabis in Colorado and Washington, his administration has been focusing on developing a policy to handle it. Meanwhile, he points out, recreational users in those states are not his top priority as “[they’ve] got bigger fish to fry.”

2. More states, more movement – There are 18 states that have legalized medical marijuana, and that number is growing. Just in this past month, government officials in seven states have brought attention to the medicinal herb and its issue of access and legalization. This alone sheds light on a positive movement towards justice, especially for something much needed by so many patients.

The People Are Speaking

3. A time of pot and failure – The ability of under-aged users to easily access marijuana is worrying parents and drug czars. A program to re-educate ‘potheads’ in camps is being presented in Denver, but more than a few members of society have already spoken: The War on Drugs is failing. Not only has it not relieved America of the problems it faces, it has increased them (as any war does). Droves of people are being incarcerated unfairly and Quentin Tarantino has even compared the drug war to slavery.

4. And now, Pop Culture! Featuring Mary Jane and Friends – Drugs in films is not a new thing, but drug exploration “as a path to salvation” is certainly a trend this year. The 2013 Sundance Film Festival featured quite a handful of these kinds of films, putting a spotlight on how the public approaches drugs in this new age. If new media can open our eyes to a new way of thinking, change can certainly be counted upon.

Innovation and Other Things

5. Revealing a higher purpose – With a more positive outlook on marijuana in the past year, innovation of purpose, as well as consumption, continues to thrive. Research on cannabidiols and cancer have surfaced in California, while a secret marijuana farm in Israel has been discovering the medicinal properties of marijuana for years, looking to reveal the plant’s higher purpose for everyone. Medical Marijuana Inc. added CBD-based chewing gum to their portfolio of cannabidiol-based products and will be expected to hit shelves early this year.

6. Growing acceptance and contesting controversy – The passing of initiatives in Colorado and Washington put everyone into a muddle of happiness and confusion. On the one hand, weed was finally accessible to everyone. On the other, finding the right balance between consumption and regulation was at the forefront. Colorado pot clubs popped up in the new year to help cope with this issue. A couple weeks later, it was announced that the longest-running pot contest High Times Cannabis Cup, usually held in Amsterdam, will be coming to Denver on April 20. The US has seen its share of Medical Cannabis Cups in legal states, but this contest is a first in the leaf’s movement up the US acceptance ladder.

Nowhere But (Hopefully) Up

2012 set a strong foundation for marijuana with its ballot approvals and movement towards acceptance. Now is the time for us all (government and citizens) to educate, understand, and collaborate with each other in order to build upon this foundation.

PhytoSPHERE’s extremely efficient growth, packaging and extraction technologies provide compact, safe, pollutant-free facilities that allow for the following:

• Completely controlled cultivation environment.
• Greatly increased plant yields with strong, compact, multi-directional growth that significantly exceed traditional methods.
• Reduced per-unit costs compared to traditional methods by eliminating the use of pesticides, fungicides and herbicides.
• Establishment of antibacterial environments and packaging systems.
• Controlled post-production processing with proprietary standardization methods.

For more information on our hemp cultivar, visit: http://www.medicalmarijuanainc.com/index.php/phytosphere.

For more information on Dixie Botanicals and their products.  Go to www.DixieBotanicals.com

We’ve had a few interesting weeks lately. Daddy and I attempted to learn to snowboard, even Colten tried once! We went out twice, (daddy three times) and tried our hardest to learn the trade, but we decided that its not for us and we will always be skiers at heart! Being on a ski hill and not being able to soar down the mountain as fast as you’d like, well it’s frustrating, and my ass and my knees hurt for a good two weeks!!!

I know you were with us watching and laughing at us as we kept biffing it down the bunny hill! Haha. Just as I was thinking about how you’d love watching us and brother, a little boy on skis about 3 years old zooms by us with a Paul Frank monkey helmet on. I knew that was a sign you were there with us. Whenever I see those monkeys I just know you are there to make sure I’d see it and know you’re with me. Well it’s what I’d like to believe.

Living without you just doesn’t feel right. Our family is a family of 5, not 4. When it’s just us four, everything is so uncomplicated and easy. Your brother is basically a grown man, he’s so self sufficient, he wakes up with his alarm clock every morning for school and gets up and takes a shower, dad or I get up and make him breakfast and send him on his merry way. He’s such a strong, smart big boy and he misses you so much. He hurts, we all hurt, but he really misses his little brother. There’s such a huge age gap now between your brother and baby sissy. We now have an 8 year old and a 9 month old. Your supposed to be my middle child, my little boy, my big 4 year old. We have such a void in our lives now without you. My heart aches and longs to hold you, to kiss your lips, your fingers and that little spot on your neck behind your ear where I would always kiss you till you giggled. I miss that so much.

I miss taking care of you. You were such a big part of our lives, everything revolved around Cashy’s care. Sometimes I find myself creeping down the hall way to grab sissy out of her crib or to let her down, I creep quietly so I won’t wake you up. Isn’t that just crazy. I catch myself and then quickly become burdened with grief that I could have possibly forgot that your gone and it doesn’t matter how loud or quiet I am because your not going to wake up. I wish I would just wake up, wake up from this nightmare I’m living. This nightmare we have to call life without you. It’s no life, no parent should ever have to live life without their 4 year old.

At work tonight one of my co workers that had lost a baby while she was 30 weeks pregnant several years ago asked me if I’m grateful for the time I had with you, or if I thought it would of been easier to lose you in the womb than to have never spent a single day with you. I told her, you bet I’m grateful for every second I spend with you my sweet boy. You changed our lives for the better in so many ways. You don’t even know. It was like you were almost sent here on earth to show us the way to live right and to appreciate every little thing.

When you were diagnosed with cancer, life was so uncomplicated and straight forward. I fell into this hole of thinking material items would make me happy, the need for the nice big house, the new cars, and everything that really doesn’t matter in life. Nothing matters more than good Heath and Happiness. Those material things don’t make you happy, ya for the moment they can, but when you look at the big picture, you’re not happy, your just existing. Your dad and I had a rough patch those few months before you were diagnosed with cancer. One night we got into it about possibly not making the mortgage payment and I was up in arms about it. He said to me ( and I’ll never forget this) well nothing really matters besides our family, we could move into our camp trailer and live there as long as we’re all healthy and happy nothing else matters right? I didn’t agree, I said there is no way I would live in our camp trailer. That’s how far gone I was into the need for material items. I’ll never forget that because after Cashy was diagnosed with cancer my views on what was really important changed and I realized that, fuck, our cute house on the hill, our nice truck and blazer and four wheeler do not matter. They don’t. You can always get a new house, you can always get a new car. We could live in a tent in the middle of the desert and as long as I have all my babies and my husband well we will be alright. I’m ashamed it took you getting cancer for me to realize how good I really had it, how nothing in the world is more important than your family. Nothing. I became complacent and that’s no way to live. I’m sorry I wasted your first year and a half of life not cherishing every moment with you and your brother. I truly regret it, I regret not getting down on the floor to play cars and Playdough with you more, I regret not taking you on that wagon ride or to the park more.

I didn’t fully become aware of what I had done to myself and what I needed to do to better myself until your cancer came back in October 2012. In July 2012 I was still struggling with my happiness and what I truly wanted for our lives and how we needed to change for the better. I was overweight, nearly 190 lbs, I never had truly lost the baby weight from your brother and then after you it just kept stacking on. I wasn’t happy with myself and I knew I needed to change something and fast. That’s when I started working out and in August somehow by the grace of god I got pregnant with your baby sissy. ( thank you marina IUD for spontaneously combusting in my body somewhere). I was so shocked and angry that this happened. We took the right preventative measures. I was scared to death that maybe this baby was given to us to replace or prepare us for the loss of you. I didn’t want another baby, you were my baby and nobody could take that place. The thought of three kids freaked me out, how could i possibly love another baby as much as I love you and your brother? But now I couldn’t be more happy that we have sissy here with us. She is such a true blessing to our family. Pure joy. Catherine Joy Hyde, she keeps us sane in the hardest of days. We couldn’t do it without her. I’m pretty sure I’d be in bed crying everyday all day if I wasn’t for her and of course my spinning class at the Y.

Getting back into shape and eating healthy is the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. I’m addicted to working out now! Who’d of ever thought that!!! I try to be active at least 4 days during the week and at least one day on the weekend. It’s been great. Your daddy even joined me for spinning class twice this week! He loved it too! This week I cycled over 58 miles! It’s a great feeling and I’m in the best shape I’ve been in since my soccer star days! Lol. Even though I’ve lost 45 lbs and I feel and look better than I have in years, I still have a bad self image when I look at myself but I’m getting better at being positive and loving myself and that’s thanks to you Cashy.

We’ve been getting better at doing more things outside of the house with out you. Still everything reminds us of you. I swear I saw you walking out of the grocery store with a lady the other day, a cute little boy with sweats and a hoodie and a beanie on with the hood pulled over his head. It looked so much like you hand in hand with his mom. I wanted to go and turn his head and grab his little hand to make sure it wasn’t you, but my craziness tucked back inside and I got in the car without you and drove home.

We were watching TV the other night and a little boy reached up and kissed his mom on the lips and mike and I both looked at each other and just knew what each other were thinking. That it looked like you kissing that momma. I pretty sure I burst into tears. Can’t remember.

Why is it that every song I hear reminds me of you? I’ve now convinced myself that whenever I’m listening to Pandora or my iPod on shuffle, each song that comes on it was from you, a little sign of sort. Maybe I’m just crazy but like mike told me I can believe whatever I want BECAUSE believing is believing and no one can take that from you. No one. Your daddy’s so smart sometimes!!!

Well last weekend we went up to Corinne and John’s cabin up in Darby, where you spend your last day and night alive. I was worried that I would be a complete wreck being up there without you, but it was peaceful and serene, and thanks to a couple glasses of wine, I was relaxed and had a great time visiting and telling stories about you and how amazing of a child you were/are. We even talked about daddy and I’s crazy wedding! oh man is that a story for another tome! I knew you were with us in spirit though.

We got some great family photos with our new camera, but the only thing that was missing was you. How can a family photo ever be normal again without you? I’ve decided our next family photos we get we will have a picture in a frame of you so we can hold it proudly and still have somewhat of a family photo even if your not here physically.

Because of you Cashy we’ve met so many amazing people and now lifelong friends we would have never known if it wasn’t for you and cancer. As sad as it is to lose a child, we’ve gained so much throughout this journey you’ve put us on and I’m thankful for everything we’ve endured to get us here. I’ll rephrase that, I’m not thankful we’ve lost you one bit, but if thats what your journey was supposed to be, to come and make our family stronger, more wise, healthier, more open and most of all capable of loving everyone no matter their faults or flaws. If that makes any sense.

I still haven’t had any vivid dreams of you alive and well. In all my dreams your dead and we all are aware. It’s like we’re constantly planning your funeral, and you’re their in the house just laying in your monkey Jammie’s, dead. It’s disturbing.

I had a terrible dream the other week, I had taken your sister to the doctor here in Missoula for a consult to get a central line placed in your chest (ugh!), for when she gets cancer down the road. Horrible. My mind is screwed up to even dream a dream like that. Thank god that was only a dream! I want nothing more than to know that your safe and happy. Please just let me know, just a little glance, a small one…. Please Cashy.

Daddy finished his tattoo of you on his arm with your giant angel wings and tombstone. It’s beautiful and I love it so much! I know you would too!! I got my arm tattoo finished and my tattoo of you and the angel on my leg finished and touched up as well. They look so good!!!

Daddy and I went on a “couples escape” night at Quinn’s hot springs on Wednesday night. We went skiing on Wednesday day, only after having both our new pairs of ski boots totally just kill our legs and feet. Why so ski boots have to be to most uncomfortable boot ever? If only you could wear snowboarding boots on your skis, it would be so much nicer! Now that’s an idea! Lol. So we ski’d then went to the hot springs and soaked for a hour and a half then got ready for dinner at the lodge. Dinner was amazing and we ate more food in one setting than we do in a whole week! Lol, not really but I felt so stuffed the thought of getting back into my swim suit again was awful, but we soaked again for another hour or so. Then we came back to our cabin and finished off our deserts we couldn’t even touch earlier! We had such a great time! We laughed, we cried, we drank champagne, we ate, we swam, and well I will leave the rest at that! it was a nice relaxing get away and it was great to rejuvenate ourselves. We got up in am and soaked again and then went back to cabin and got ready and had breakfast at the lodge as well. Fabulous 24 hours away!! Sissy and brother got to hang with grandma Vickie. Grandma Vickie misses you to Cashy, I’m glad you gave her a dream. She needed that. She said you looked so healthy and well and it was like you weren’t even sick. I wish I could be in that dreamland!

Well Cashy I miss you so much my heart has a permanent hole in it where you left you’d everlasting light. The whole reminds me of what you became and what you are now. My hero.

Friday we leave for Arizona where we will stay with Janess and Jamison and your best bud Slade. Slade misses you even though she doesn’t really know your gone. Janess called the other day telling me that Slade keeps insisting on watching your slideshow from your funeral over an over and over. She’s said just hearing the music makes her cry. Ugh, I told he’d she was just torturing herself! That slideshow is a tear jerker! I can’t even make it through the first song without bawling instantly. I refuse to watch it for now. To sad. So anyways, Friday we go to Arizona where we will build ten reggae runners donated by Infiniti of Scottsdale dealership where Janess works. We will assemble them on Saturday and at 4pm we will be taking the cars to Phoenix children’s hospital to donate them. We are all so excited to be doing this, but a part of me is so sad that you won’t be with us to test the runners and give your approval. Makes my heart hurt. That was your job. We will make sure sissy and Slade do a good job. I promise! I know you will be with us through it all.

Well I better get busy buddy. I hope you know how much your missed and I hope you’re proud of us for trying so hard to keep your legacy alive! We love and miss you so much my sweet angel monkey boy. I love you To infinity and beyond. I hope your safe and warm. <3

To learn more about or to help out the Cash Hyde Foundation, please visit www.CashHydeFoundation.com or to follow Cashy’s Battle Blog.

UnitedPatientsGroup.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight pediatric cancer! Thank you for your support!

UnitedPatientsGroup and The Cash Hyde Foundation:

• Our Journey has brought us some amazing stories…

• Doobons.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight Pediatric Cancer

• Medical Cannabis Resource Site Doobons.com Helps the Cash Hyde Foundation Spread Smiles

• Doobons.com Sends Out Plea for Cannabis Oil Donations for Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Victim Cash Hyde

• Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Patient Latest Casualty of Medical Marijuana Crackdown

• United Patients Group Spearheads Cash Hyde Foundation Medical Marijuana Reform Movement

• One of the most mineral rich plants we know.
• Rich in phytoestrogens and contains nine essential amino acids.
• High in Vitamins A, D, B6, E, K, and also provides some calcium and phosphorus.
• Carefully selected and extracted using a process designed to preserve its naturally occurring constituents.

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This super food is high in vitamins A, D, B6, E, K, calcium and phosphorus. Vitamin K is critical to blood clotting. Hemp is also rich in phytoestrogens and contains the nine essential amino acids. Hemp is a mineral-rich plant. Because the minerals are in a balanced natural form the body easily absorbs them. If you are looking for an alternative to a mineral supplement, hemp oil is a great choice.

For more information on Dixie Botanicals and their products.  Go to www.DixieBotanicals.com

When derived from hemp stalk or seed, the hemp oil constituent CBD is considered a food nutrient or dietary supplement, delivering the benefits of cannabinoids without the psychoactive/euphoric effects of THC.  There are over 400 cannabinoids found in marijuana/hemp.  Our present dietary supplement products contain industrial hemp whole plant extract from seed and stalk and from isolated strains or “cultivars” of hemp that provide significant quantities and concentrations of CBD.

Recent scientific research has shown that humans (and all mammals) have an affinity for these cannabinoids.  Mammalian cells contain two known receptor sites on cell membranes for various cannabinoid compounds.  Humans can supplement any potential deficiencies in their endo-cannabinoid systems with plant-derived phyto-cannabinoids, such as our CBD products. Phyto-cannabinoids have also been found in flax, cloves, hops and black pepper.

For more information on Dixie Botanicals and their products.  Go to www.DixieBotanicals.com

Combustion causes smoke, and smoke adds poisons to your medical marijuana. By vaporizing, you avoid combustion altogether; thus opening the door to a more pleasant, safe, and effective cannabis experience.

Vaporization is a premium method for administering medical marijuana. When administering medical cannabis, a proper vaporizer will heat the trichomes into a concentrated vapor cloud. Though the vapor puff is faint and difficult to see – it is chock full of potent cannabinoids.

In fact, the true value of a quality vaporizer is that every puff is pure cannabinoids.  Medical cannabinoids like Delta-9-Tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), Cannabidiol (CBD), and others empower the therapeutic potential of medical marijuana. By vaporizing, you get all the benefits of medical cannabis, while escaping the dangers of smoke (and carcinogens like benzapyrene).

Patients seeking the immediate benefits of inhaled medical marijuana should consider vaporization their best option because of the following reasons:

Quick Effect: Cannabis vapor enters the bloodstream in seconds; patients have instantaneous gratification from a proper dose.

Convenient: Most vaporizers heat up in seconds; they are self-contained and reliable.

Precise: Pick your heat temperature and know your dosage on a per-puff basis.

Pleasant: Taste flavors normally lost to flame, and enjoy the smokeless, ash-less experience.

Using a vaporizer allows patients to absorb a cloud of cannabinoids. Though every dose is nearly invisible to the eye – they are pleasantly flavorful and potent.  A proper vaporizer will heat medical marijuana to a temperature between 355°-385°F, resulting in a perfect puff of vapor that doesn’t irritate the throat, nor cause coughing fits.

Here at United Patients Group, we usually recommend the Digital Volcano as the pinnacle of vaporizers, technology because it’s consistent, effective, and safe. However, the bulky vaporizer can be cumbersome and difficult to transport. For us, portability is one of our priorities. After all, patients are on the move -  making it difficult for us to recommend a device that tethers them to the wall unnecessarily. Patients have a need to medicate away from home, and we think we’ve found their answer.

It’s called Pax and it looks like something you might find at an Apple store. Without exaggeration, we’re confident saying that Pax would be Steve Job’s vaporizer of choice! It is the only vaporizer that actually looks like it belongs next to a Macbook Pro.  In a sentence: Pax encapsulates all that Apple represents (quality, reliability, style) and it delivers these qualities to medical marijuana patients everywhere!

Despite Pax’s unique-for-tobacco design, we at United Patients Group feel that it translates perfectly to use with medical marijuana flowers.

From our experience:

• Pax is efficient (3 specific temperature settings of Low = 370F, Medium = 390F, High = 410F).
• Pax is affordable (only $250 – versus $600+ for a Volcano – and you suddenly don’t need lighters, hempwick, ashtrays, pipes, papers or anything patients use to smoke medical cannabis).
• Pax is reliable (with not only a 10 year limited warranty, but a lithium ion battery to hold a perfect charge).

To purchase or learn more aboutPax, you can visit www.Ploom.com or at VapeBot.

If you’re interested in finding out more about desktop-style vaporizers (like the Volcano), check out http://www.unitedpatientsgroup.com/Vaporizers.

Most importantly, if you have any questions or comments about vaporizers in general – we’re always available to chat on Twitter (www.twitter.com/UPatientsGroup) and Facebook (www.facebook.com/unitedpatientsgroup).

We wish you Health and Wellness!

Here’s a list of basic Cannabidiol (CBD) “Did you know” facts :

CANNABIDIOL (CBD)…

• Is completely non-psychoactive. It is safe and non-toxic. You can never over-dose on CBD.
• Is the second most common cannabinoid in Cannabis sativa and indica plants and is the primary cannabinoid in hemp plants.
• Counters some of the negative effects of THC (i.e. paranoia, intoxication, quick heartbeat (tachycardia) short term memory loss, lethargy/sedation, etc.)
• By combining THC and CBD, it has been found to increase clinical efficacy while reducing adverse effects, even with only trace amounts of THC added. (CBD works synergistically with THC, bolstering its medical effects while moderating its psycho-activity)

Some medical benefits of Cannabidiol (CBD) include:

• CBD has been found to relieve convulsions and other movement disorders. It is also anti-spasmodic and antiepileptic.
• At high doses (more than a few hundred mg) CBD can be a sedative and also  helps insomniacs stay asleep longer.  In low doses, CBD has been found to be alerting.
• It is also effective in reducing inflammation (anti-inflammatory), anxiety (anxiolytic) and nausea (anti-emetic)
• Is a powerful pain reliever (analgesic) and is effective in both peripheral neuropathic pain and central pain.
• It has been shown to inhibit cancer cell growth (anti-carcinogenic).
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• CBD could be effective in easing symptoms of a wide range of difficult-to-control conditions, including: rheumatoid arthritis, diabetes, alcoholism, PTSD, epilepsy, MS, antibiotic-resistant infections and neurological disorders, to name a few.
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You have inspired so many people in your short four years on earth and I know you will continue to do so. You will continue to teach them so many wonderful lessons about life. You will make this world a better place. You already have and I know this is just the beginning of so many amazing things to come. I promise to help you with the big job you have ahead of you. We can do anything together.

I’ve tried as best I can to go about my life but everything is still standing still. I have so many unanswered questions. So many emotions that people just don’t understand. I think some people are even afraid to say hi to me in fear of making me cry or just because they don’t have the slightest idea what to say to a momma who lost her baby boy to cancer. But I’m strong like that in a weird way, I don’t cry easy in front of people. I let it build up, I can usually feel it hanging in my shoulders, the raw pain…. It builds up and leaves me very tense. I cry the best in the car by myself. It’s usually a song that sparks the tears, as like I said before everything reminds me of you.

We’ve been watching all our home videos lately, videos I can’t even remember taking. How sad is that, that I can’t even remember much of what life was like before cancer. Before you became so sick, tired, and weak. The last video I watched, I watched by myself which was a good thing because I just cry and cry and tears flow like a waterfall. The whole disc was the few weeks before you were diagnosed and the first three rounds of chemo. It starts with you and brother playing in the bathtub. Man you were so full of life and energy and you were so beautiful, your long brown hair and your to die for eyes. You were the most perfect baby. How could someone so perfect and flawless get cancer? How does a child, my child get cancer. Then I start questioning myself and blaming myself. Maybe it was because I only breastfeed you for 8 months instead of a whole year, Maybe it was the toxic formula I gave you, or all the hormones they put in cows milk? Maybe it was the food I fed you (could it of been from a hot dog, we don’t eat those anymore, let alone any meat), the candy I let you eat once in awhile, maybe it was the wifi we have flowing through our house, maybe it was the TV, maybe I let you watch Mickey Mouse too many times. Maybe it was the car accident I was in when I was pregnant, maybe it was the drugs they gave me to stop my premature labor after the car accident. There’s so many possibilities that it literally drives me insane. I wish I knew, so I could do everything in my power to prevent your brother and sister from getting cancer too. It really scares me and I am constantly worrying.

In your four years of life, you were never scared of anything. Never. You were so brave and strong. I remember last year when we were doing radiation. We would get up every morning (yes it was a fight to get dressed) and daddy and I would take turns being with you. We would wait downstairs in that horrible hospital, you would either be in my arms or in your stroller waiting for your turn so they could sedate you and radiate your brain and spine. God you were so brave, everyday we would walk in and they would hook up your line with the nasty white medicine to make you sleep. You would instantly be passed out cold, every time it freaked me out, the doctors and nurses seemed so scattered, and unprepared. I was always afraid to leave you, then I had to walk out without you and it felt so awful knowing what you were going through. How they would strap you down on your body mold and then put the mask over your face after they intubated you then they would screw the mask down to the table. It was the most horrible feeling having to leave you with strangers and having to trust them, when they gave me no trust to feel. I kept your radiation mask, I often go in your room and hold it, it’s a perfect mold of your beautiful face. It fits so well right in my arms, your little head. My baby boy. I hold your mask and cry and I talk to you. I tell you how sad I am without you, how torturous it is living without you. I kiss the the perfect mold of your lips like your still there, I run my fingers down and over the indentation of your little nose and your eyes. It’s you, it’s your face. It’s all I have left to remember how perfect your delicate face was.

I miss running my fingers over your scar on your head from the brain surgery. The scar had calcium deposits all along it so it was bumpy and I loved running my fingers over it. It was a grim reminder of what a strong little boy you were. What obstacles you over came. There were so many. The most amazing obstacle was you being able to see again after you were blind for almost two months after the brain surgery. You were so scared and totally blind. I was scared too. How could someone possibly have a quality of life if they are blind. I could never grasp it and miraculously you were given your sight back. Thank god for that.

I struggle with the fact that you are safe and happy. How can you be safe if your not with me? Isn’t that what a mommy is supposed to do, keep you safe from harm, keep you warm and happy? I have literally no idea what your doing. You could be walking the streets of Timbuktu for all I know, and that worries me. Being without you is not being at all.

I have yet to have a good dream about you. The first couple weeks after you died I had dreams of you, but you were dead, and we all were frantically planning your funeral, over and over. Like every dream we were planning another funeral for you. A nightmare really. I won’t be satisfied until you come to me in my dreams and show me that your ok, that your floating on a cloud and eating cheese sammys until your tummy hurts, or something. Do you even need to eat in heaven?

It’s funny what becomes important when things like this happen. TV shows, magazines, books…even the news is a joke. Who Effin cares if Snookie had a baby or that Lindsey Lohan is in rehab again, who gives a rats ass. What about all the innocent babies like you that are gone and dead from childhood cancer. If everybody cared as much about pediatric cancer as they did about the next trashy episode of teen mom, well maybe you wouldn’t be dead. Maybe little Kiwi, or your buddy Dawson, or Juju could still be alive if people cared more about this terrible disease that is killing our children, our future. I swear if I see another gossip magazine with one of those Kardashian girls on it, I’m going to throw them all in a pile and burn them in the store. Is that what the world has come to……ugh.

Well I better make some rounds and quit blabbering on. I hope everyone reading this has a good day today and will you all kiss your babies for me and hold them tight. Get down on the floor and play Legos with them, make a mess with Playdough. Cashy wouldn’t want it any other way. I’d give my heart (well what’s left of it) to be able to play cars one last time with Cashy. Remember tomorrow is never promised.

I love and miss you more and more everyday Cashy. Please come to me in a dream. I need this. To infinity and beyond buddy, to infinity and beyond.

To learn more about or to help out the Cash Hyde Foundation, please visit www.CashHydeFoundation.com or to follow Cashy’s Battle Blog.

UnitedPatientsGroup.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight pediatric cancer! Thank you for your support!

UnitedPatientsGroup and The Cash Hyde Foundation:

• Our Journey has brought us some amazing stories…

• Doobons.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight Pediatric Cancer

• Medical Cannabis Resource Site Doobons.com Helps the Cash Hyde Foundation Spread Smiles

• Doobons.com Sends Out Plea for Cannabis Oil Donations for Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Victim Cash Hyde

• Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Patient Latest Casualty of Medical Marijuana Crackdown

• United Patients Group Spearheads Cash Hyde Foundation Medical Marijuana Reform Movement

Putting up the Christmas tree for the first time since 2009 was really hard. Opening presents Christmas morning was even harder. Not heading Cashy’s giggle or his cute little voice really hurts. I really had looked forward to being home with Cashy for Christmas. I was so excited to have him here with us to hang ornaments, play the elf on the shelf game with him, have him open presents and just get to be a little boy that he really hadn’t ever had much of a chance to be.

Sometimes I catch myself glancing over at the empty couch where Cashy should be. Everything reminds me of Cashy, I mean everything. Down to eating a string cheese from the gas station on our way home from Fairmont Hot Springs on Christmas Day. Yes even a string cheese reminds me of him. Sometimes I start thinking of him and it’s almost like I can’t breath. Like my pain is so raw and real that it literally sucks the life out of me. Sometimes I wish it would actually. I wish it would just take me away. Take me to Cashy. If it was that easy! But I know Cashy would want me to be here to take care of Sissy and big bro. They need me and they need their daddy too.

Most of the time I’m doing good, and I feel strong and then sometimes I’m struck by this blinding wave of sadness and sorrow. I start second guessing everything, did we do everything possible? Did we just let him die right in front of our very eyes and we were just too blind or optimistic to even see that he was dying. God, we had such optimism and positiveness that he was going to overcome this and change the world. We wanted the world to know his story and in hopes of finding a better way to fight cancer. Besides your basic surgery, chemo and radiation treatments that are your only options. But now his story does live on, he will never be forgotten. I know this. But my heart wants him here, I wish I could just get a do over right now. But what would I change really???? Nothing…… He’d still die. It’s like that song, ( which I hate the song because it’s totally absurd) “if I die young”…..the line where it goes “it’s funny when your gone, how people start listening…” Well world, can you hear us….Cashys dead, what will it take? Thousands of more beautiful children dead until people start really putting in the work and the research? It’s a joke.

Our next door neighbor died a week after Cashy died of brain cancer as well. Although he was 80 years old, it freaks me out that maybe there’s something toxic up on our hill. Then I start diagnosing my other children with brain tumors. I know it’s insane. I guess once a momcologist, always a momcologist. Lol.

On our way to Fairmont Hot Springs on Christmas Day we were cruising along and out of the blue a giant bald eagle soars across the highway right in front of us. It was beautiful and very spiritual and we all knew it was Cashy saying hi and letting us know he was with us. It made our week.

Bedtime is still the worst. Each night when Mike and I go to bed, we lay there holding each other and usually one of us will start crying. It’s awful, knowing Cashy should be right in between us like he always has since birth. It’s the worst feeling knowing that he was here and now he’s just gone, Just like that, gone. Sometimes I start crying and I just can’t stop, it’s like I opened the flood gates and it’s a full on monsoon. Crap, I hate it.

So you all might think I’m crazy, well I basically am, a little statistic for you, 51% of moms and 40% of dads suffer acute distress syndrome the first two weeks after a cancer diagnosis of their child. Well after two and a half years later my stress level and emotional instability is far from acute, it’s chronic.

I got off of work my first night back after Cashy’s death, last Tuesday am, and I’m laying on my left side with the baby in my left arm and were face to face (and she’s nursing) and I’m just about asleep, kinda in that In between sleep. When all of a sudden something literally taps me in the middle of my forehead and goes “hey”, I open my eyes and it was Cashy’s face all hazy and misty in front of Sissy’s face and it instantly went away. Now I’m serious it felt so real. I smiled and went to sleep, I knew it was Cashy and it left me with a calm zen feeling.

Our very sweet neighbors bought Colty a three day ski camp pass at Snowbowl for Christmas. So Wed, Thur and Fri, Colty has been tearing up the snow and learning a bunch of new tricks on his new skis. He loved it!! Thanks John and Dana, you guys are so kind!

Colty’s number three on his Xmas list was “a bag of whoopie cushions”. Lol, I know what freaking cool kid. So I bought him a regular whoopie cushion and “the fartenator”, this is a remote controlled farting device. He’s been playing with the thing nonstop. He thinks it’s hilarious to trick people when they come over. He tells them that they need to check their undies. Lol. He’s a character.

I couldn’t find the remote control for the TV anywhere the other night and I’m searching everywhere, under the couches in the toy bin…. Well I’m digging in the couch and I pull out one of Cashy’s bug juices. Mike instantly started bawling, thus I start bawling as well. God I miss him so much, I just wish I could get another minute with him. To hold him, kiss him and tell him I love him. I hope he knows how much we all love him and how sad we are he’s gone. He will never be forgotten.

We are really excited about the foundation and what is in store for us next. We’ve already helped a couple families this Christmas season with checks so they could give their children a better Christmas. We’re so happy we are able to help other families that are in similar situations like we were the last two years. We know how hard it is to fight cancer and everything adds up. So it’s a good feeling to be able to help out, and it’s all because of people like you guys who donate that 20 dollars or that 50 dollars, it all adds up to help out these families that so desperately need it.

Our next big plans with the foundation is that we are going to Phoenix, Arizona the end of January.  Here we’ll be donating 20 Reggae Runners to the Holsteins hospitals in the area. My best friend Janess’s dealership were she works is donating the 20 runners and we’re really excited to get down there and do this!!

Well I better get back to work as mommas and their new babies need me!! (Well not really, they just need their pain pills and their water filled, lol).

Thank you everyone who sent us cards, gifts and love for Christmas. We love you all and can’t emphasize how much we appreciate everything that you’ve all done. We truly couldn’t do it without all your love an support. Love you all!!!
One love!

Oh and I’m leaving this post with a very special picture of Cashy and Mike’s parents after he passed. This picture is amazing because you can see numerous orbs surrounding Cashy. It’s an amazingly spiritual picture and I hope nobody is offended by it but it’s such a special picture and shows how his spirit does live on and it shows how his energy is just radiating out of him. It’s lovely. And it’s comforting to me despite all the sadness in it.

Goodnight Cashy, I hope you’re safe and warm, and most of all happy. I love you to the moon and back buddy.

To learn more about or to help out the Cash Hyde Foundation, please visit www.CashHydeFoundation.com or to follow Cashy’s Battle Blog.

UnitedPatientsGroup.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight pediatric cancer! Thank you for your support!

UnitedPatientsGroup and The Cash Hyde Foundation:

• Our Journey has brought us some amazing stories…

• Doobons.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight Pediatric Cancer

• Medical Cannabis Resource Site Doobons.com Helps the Cash Hyde Foundation Spread Smiles

• Doobons.com Sends Out Plea for Cannabis Oil Donations for Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Victim Cash Hyde

• Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Patient Latest Casualty of Medical Marijuana Crackdown

• United Patients Group Spearheads Cash Hyde Foundation Medical Marijuana Reform Movement

Many recent studies have explored the relationship between Vitamin D and its protective function with respect to cancer.

(1) An epidemiological study by Cedric Garland PhD focused on the relationship between breast cancer and vitamin D levels as shown in the medical literature. Their conclusion:  if women kept their vitamin D blood levels at approximately 52 ng/ml, they could expect a 50% reduction in the risk of breast cancer.

(2) Pamela Goodwin, M.D. and colleagues, retrospectively analyzed more than 500 women over a period of 11 years. Results: women who had been deficient in vitamin D at the time of their breast cancer diagnosis were 73% more likely to die from breast cancer than those with sufficient vitamin D at the time of diagnosis, as well as being almost twice as likely to have recurrence over the 11 year period.

(3) Joan Lappe PhD, RN and her colleagues looked prospectively at more than 400 postmenopausal women over a four-year period of time. Women in the study group were given 1100 IU of vitamin D and 1000 mg of calcium daily. The control group did not receive this. Results: women who took the vitamin D and calcium reduced their rate of cancer by 60%. The authors found that for every 10 ng/ml increase in a woman’s vitamin D blood level, the relative risk of cancer dropped by 35%. These data included all cancers.

For those billion or so of us who may be deficient in vitamin D, taking a multivitamin and drinking milk every day won’t do the job. Because of many variable factors, one size does not fit all. Effective dosing requires measurement through laboratory testing.  Clinically, what really counts is not the vitamin D dose but the serum level achieved. For achieving adequate clinical levels, follow-up testing may be required every three months. Once the target level is achieved and the switch is made to maintenance dosing, then the testing frequency can be reduced significantly.

A couple of years ago I was able to converse with a scientist that has been studying Vitamin D for over 30 years. In his opinion many physicians haven’t kept up with studies between the relationship between adequate Vitamin D levels and protection from cancer. Between 2010 and 2012, more than 16,000 new research papers on vitamin D have been archived in the National Library of Medicine’s PubMed.  Also, many clinicians are still overly concerned about toxicity based on outdated data, and therefore advise inadequate oral intake levels.

As to toxicity, a useful figure to keep in mind: Full body exposure to direct summer sun for 30 minutes allows the skin to make 10,000 units. The best information I could find is that Vitamin D probably doesn’t become toxic in humans until total dose (oral and sun) surpasses 40,000 units per day for a prolonged period.

For acute poisoning, the LD50 (dose which is lethal to 50 percent of the subjects) in dogs is the equivalent of a 110 lb. human taking 176,000,000 units! And that’s a LOT of 1000 IU capsules! Of course, this is for a single toxic dose, not daily use.

Vitamin D builds up in the fat and chronic use of excessive amounts can indeed be toxic, especially when not taken with cofactors such as magnesium, calcium etc. For example the following data show daily intake amounts over specified time periods that have proven to be toxic:

50,000 IU/day for 8 weeks
200,000 IU/day for 2 weeks
2 million IU/day for 1 week

10,000 IU/day happens to be the “no observed adverse effects level” (NOAEL) of the 2010 Food and Nutrition Board, the amount that has never been shown to cause harm. Do not exceed 10,000 IU/day unless you have a scientific level of understanding of vitamin D metabolism. Everyone taking this fat-soluble vitamin supplement in amounts larger than contained in a daily multivitamin should test their blood levels often. And, duh, don’t go stupid crazy on maxing out your dose!

The researcher I spoke with said that approximately 1 in a 1000 consumers of Vitamin D orally might develop kidney stones at doses above 10,000 units. If you’re a stone former, or have inflammatory bowel disease, cut the dose to below 10K and consult your physician. The largest study that looked at the risk of kidney stones with vitamin D came out of Harvard. They studied 45,616 men over 14 years for a total of 477,000 person-years of follow up. They found no increased risk of kidney stones with vitamin D intake but did not look at sun exposure or 25(OH)D levels. Of interest, they found three things in your diet that protect against kidney stones: high potassium (46% lower relative risk), high magnesium (29% lower relative risk), and high fluid intake (29% lower relative risk). For younger men, higher dietary calcium was associated with a reduced risk of kidney stones (31% lower relative risk). It seems likely that physiological vitamin D intakes will result in a higher relative risk for kidney stones for people on modern American diets (low potassium, low magnesium, high refined carbohydrates, high sodas, and a high acid residue).

The accepted sufficient level for Vitamin D in the general populations is controversial: published guidelines vary between 20 and 60 nanograms/ml.

Generally a good therapeutic range of 25 OH D, suggested by this researcher, is somewhere between 45 and 65 ng/ml for its protection against cancer and its recurrence.  If you’re not in the summer sun much, most people will need at least 4000 units daily to get to the lower end of this range. 100 ng/ml is considered the border of toxicity.

There is a WIDE RANGE of response in blood levels to different doses of this supplement. Testing your blood levels to see how the supplement is absorbed is vitally important both to avoid toxicity and to make sure you are receiving the most effective dose.

So what’s a guideline on dosage? Here’s some data from a recent study (5):

• For those severely deficient in vitamin D, each 1,000 IU / day of increased supplementation resulted in an increase of 10 ng / ml in vitamin D blood levels.
• For those with existing blood levels above 30 ng / ml, each 1,000 IU / day of increased supplementation resulted in an increase of 8 ng / ml in vitamin D blood levels.
• For those with existing blood levels above 50 ng / ml, each 1,000 IU / day of increased supplementation resulted in an increase of 5 ng / ml in vitamin D blood levels.

In other words, vitamin D supplementation has a curve of diminishing returns. Those with existing high levels of vitamin D do not experience as much benefit from vitamin D supplements as those with low levels (which is roughly 90% of the population).

For people who want to supplement, it makes sense to take Vitamin D3 (cholecalciferol) with cofactors such as magnesium, calcium etc., and not to take the prescription form of 50,000 units of ergocalciferol (D2) which is not found in vertebrates, and is not nearly so bioactive but does block the receptors for the good stuff, even though it will raise the lab value on a blood test. The vitamin D2 potency is less than one third that of vitamin D3. Vitamin D2 has a shorter half-life in the blood and a lower affinity for the vitamin D binding protein. What this means is that according to a study (4) in the French Internal Medicine Review, “vitamin D2 should not be regarded anymore as suitable for supplementation or fortification.”

For the best utilization of Vitamin D, take it with the evening meal, which should be the largest meal for the day. (6)

No adverse interactions between cannabis and Vitamin D3 are shown in most drug references. (7) However, on one website (8) that says its database includes self-reports from 6 million people since 1977, two interactions have been reported in 2012. These included trouble breathing and fainting. However, no details are given except for the fact that co-used drugs for these two people indicate that they may have been seriously compromised in their respiratory health:

Fluorouracil
Oxygen
Oxycontin
Leucovorin calcium

There ARE some medical conditions, such as hyperparathyroidism, that preclude supplementing with Vitamin D without close medical supervision, so consultation with a knowledgeable physician is strongly recommended.

NOTES:

(1) J Steroid Biochem Mol Biol. 2007 Mar;103(3-5):708-11.
Vitamin D and prevention of breast cancer: pooled analysis.
Garland CF, Gorham ED, Mohr SB, Grant WB, Giovannucci EL, Lipkin M, Newmark H, Holick MF, Garland FC.
Source: Department of Family and Preventive Medicine, University of California-San Diego, 9500 Gilman Drive, La Jolla, CA 92093, USA. cgarland@ucsd.edu

(2) J Clin Oncol. 2009 Aug 10;27(23):3757-63. Epub 2009 May 18.
Prognostic effects of 25-hydroxyvitamin D levels in early breast cancer.
Goodwin PJ, Ennis M, Pritchard KI, Koo J, Hood N.
Source: Mount Sinai Hospital, 1284-600 University Ave, Toronto, Ontario M5G 1X4, Canada. pgoodwin@mtsinai.on.ca

(3) Am J Clin Nutr. 2007 Jun;85(6):1586-91.
Vitamin D and calcium supplementation reduces cancer risk: results of a randomized trial. Lappe JM, Travers-Gustafson D, Davies KM, Recker RR, Heaney RP.
Source: Osteoporosis Research Center, Creighton University, Omaha, NE 68131, USA. jmlappe@creighton.edu

(4) Rev Med Interne. 2008 Oct;29(10):815-20. Epub 2008 Apr 11.
[Vitamin D2 or vitamin D3?].
[Article in French] Mistretta VI, Delanaye P, Chapelle JP, Souberbielle JC, Cavalier E.
Source: Service de chimie médicale, CHU de Liège, université de Liège, domaine du Sart-Tilman, Liège, Belgique.

(5) Vitamin D Supplement Doses and Serum 25-Hydroxyvitamin D in the Range Associated with Cancer Prevention
CEDRIC F. GARLAND1, CHRISTINE B. FRENCH2, , LEO L. BAGGERLY3, and ROBERT P. HEANEY4,

“This paper provides a long awaited insight into a dose-response relationship between orally administered vitamin D3 and the resulting levels of serum 25(OH)D in over 3600 citizens. The results will allow new definition of high vitamin D dose safety and reduce concerns about toxicity. This is a landmark contribution in the vitamin D nutrition field!”

Anthony Norman
Distinguished Professor of Biochemistry & Biomedical Sciences, Emeritus
University of California Riverside\

Viewed 10/13/2012 at http://www.grassrootshealth.net/garland02-11

(6) Mulligan GB, et al. Taking vitamin D with the largest meal improves absorption and results in higher serum levels of 25-hydroxyvitamin D. J Bone Miner Res. 8th February 2010 [epud ahead of print publication]

(7) http://www.drugs.com/drug-interactions/cannabis-with-vitamin-d3-2758-0-646-5790.html

(8) http://www.ehealthme.com/drug-interactions/vitamin-d-and-cannabis

Other resources on the web:

http://www.vitamindcouncil.org/

http://www.vitamindwiki.com/tiki-index.php

Contributed by Bill Manewal, RN

Disclaimer: You should never delay seeking medical advice, disregard medical advice, or discontinue medical treatment because of information in this article.

Flying with Medical Marijuana

First of all, if you plan on flying with your marijuana, be careful! Because airports and airplanes are federal jurisdictions, it is possible for medical marijuana patients to be detained and arrested when going through security, and get slapped with a minimum of a $1,000 fine for possession. Even if you have a medical marijuana card, these strict rules still apply.

However, some airports can be medical marijuana “friendly” and allow patients with correct documentation and preparation to board and fly. Below are three tips to remember when traveling with medical marijuana:

Be Prepared

            • Pack proper documentation – Patients who are appropriately registered should, first and foremost, carry their medical marijuana cards or valid physician’s letter. Remember though that these will not serve as any protection from criminal charges.

            • Pack only the prescribed amount you need – As a rule of thumb, avoid traveling with more than the allowed state minimum of medical marijuana.

            • Pack well and not suspiciously – Pack your medication in your carry-on. If it’s in a well-sealed container (no smell) and you prepared for your travels (see Be Honest below), moving through security should be less of a hassle.

Be Aware

            • Know the regulations – Research the regulations/processes of the airports and states you’re flying into/out of to be aware of all possible situations. States without medical marijuana laws can arrest patients under possession laws, even if the patient is registered in their home state.

            • Know your rights and responsibilities - As a patient, understanding your rights and responsibilities will help you handle most situations accordingly. Always ask an authority if you are unsure of the law.

            • Don’t travel internationally - As a general rule, never travel internationally with any amount of medical marijuana unless you want to take the risk of being detained, arrested, charged, missing your flight, and having your medicine confiscated.

Be Honest

            • Be upfront with your intentions – If you’re going to fly out of/into an airport that is medical marijuana ‘friendly’, call ahead of time to ask about their process and let them know your intentions. Sometimes local police may be surprisingly cooperative.

            • TSA powers - The TSA doesn’t search specifically for drugs. However, at the end of the day (when marijuana is detected), they are a federal agency and do not consider marijuana legal under any circumstances. They will refer to local law enforcement who end up deciding your situation.

Driving with Medical Marijuana

Driving to your destination with medication is the safest mode of transportation for traveling patients. Private bus and train companies may remove passengers at their own discretion who appear under the influence or are known to possess medical marijuana, even with proper documentation. Be sure to follow the rules above (with the exception of notifying local enforcement of your intentions) when using these types of transportation.

Leaving it Behind

Ultimately, if traveling with medical marijuana proves to be too much of a hassle, reach out to your dispensary for more tips and solutions. Leaving your medication behind and buying from a local dispensary (at your final destination) can lessen the stress. You may want to research local dispensaries ahead of time to prepare for your needs.

What We’ve Learned

Holiday vacations can be stressful enough as it is, and traveling with medication can be the cherry on top. In order to make transportation less worrisome, always remember to be prepared, be aware, and be honest.

For more articles and resources on traveling with medical marijuana, follow the links below:

Traveling with Medical Marijuana

Taking a Trip – Can I Bring My Marijuana?

Can I Fly With Medical Marijuana?

Can I Fly With Medical Marijuana in California?

Myth: United States law has always treated hemp and marijuana the same.

Reality: The history of federal drug laws clearly shows that at one time the U.S. government understood and accepted the distinction between hemp and marijuana.

Myth: Smoking industrial hemp gets a person high.

Reality: The THC levels in industrial hemp are so low that no one could get high from smoking it. Moreover, hemp contains a relatively high percentage of another cannabinoid, CBD, that actually blocks the marijuana high. Hemp, it turns out, is not only not marijuana; it could be called “antimarijuana.”

Myth: Even though THC levels are low in hemp, the THC can be extracted and concentrated to produce a powerful drug.

Reality: Extracting THC from industrial hemp and further refining it to eliminate the preponderance of CBD would require such an expensive, hazardous, and time-consuming process that it is extremely unlikely anyone would ever attempt it, rather than simply obtaining high-THC marijuana instead.

Myth: Hemp fields would be used to hide marijuana plants.

Reality: Hemp is grown quite differently from marijuana. Moreover, it is harvested at a different time than marijuana. Finally, cross-pollination between hemp plants and marijuana plants would significantly reduce the potency of the marijuana plant.

Myth: Legalizing hemp while continuing the prohibition on marijuana would burden local police forces.

Reality: In countries where hemp is grown as an agricultural crop, the police have experienced no such burdens.

Myth: Feral hemp must be eradicated because it can be sold as marijuana.

Reality: Feral hemp, or ditchweed, is a remnant of the hemp once grown on more than 400,000 acres by U.S. farmers. It contains extremely low levels of THC, as low as .05 percent. It has no drug value, but does offer important environmental benefits as a nesting habitat for birds. About 99 percent of the “marijuana” being eradicated by the federal government-at great public expense-is this harmless ditchweed. Might it be that the drug enforcement agencies want to convince us that ditchweed is hemp in order to protect their large eradication budgets?

Myth: Those who want to legalize hemp are actually seeking a backdoor way to legalize marijuana.

Reality: It is true that many of the first hemp stores were started by industrial-hemp advocates who were also in favor of legalizing marijuana. However, as the hemp industry has matured, it has come to be dominated by those who see hemp as the agricultural and industrial crop that it is, and see hemp legalization as a different issue than marijuana legalization. In any case, should we oppose a very good idea simply because some of those who support it also support other ideas with which we disagree?

Myth: Hemp oil is a source of THC.

Reality: Hemp oil is an increasingly popular product, used for an expanding variety of purposes. The washed hemp seed contains no THC at all. The tiny amounts of THC contained in industrial hemp are in the glands of the plant itself. Sometimes, in the manufacturing process, some THC- and CBD-containing resin sticks to the seed, resulting in traces of THC in the oil that is produced. The concentration of these cannabinoids in the oil is infinitesimal. No one can get high from using hemp oil.

Myth: Legalizing hemp would send the wrong message to children.

Reality: It is the current refusal of the drug enforcement agencies to distinguish between an agricultural crop and a drug crop that is sending the wrong message to children.

Myth: Hemp is not economically viable, and should therefore be outlawed.

Reality: The market for hemp products is growing rapidly. But even if it were not, when has a crop ever been outlawed simply because government agencies thought it would be unprofitable to grow?

Investigators at the University of California, Los Angeles assessed the association between diabetes mellitus (DM) and marijuana use among adults aged 20 to 59 in a nationally representative sample of the US population of 10,896 adults. The study included four groups: non-marijuana users (61.0%), past marijuana users (30.7%), light (one to four times/month) (5.0%) and heavy (more than five times/month) current marijuana users (3.3%). Diabetes was defined based on self-report or abnormal glycaemic parameters.

Researchers hypothesized that the prevalence of type 2 diabetes would be reduced in marijuana users because of the presence of various cannabinoids that possess immunomodulatory and anti-inflammatory properties.

Investigators reported that past and present cannabis consumers possessed a lower prevalence of adult onset diabetes, even after authors adjusted for social variables (ethnicity, level of physical activity, etc.), despite all groups possessing a similar family history of DM. Researchers did not find an association between cannabis use and other chronic diseases, including hypertension, stroke, myocradial infarction, or heart failure compared to nonusers.

Past and current cannabis users did report engaging in more frequent physical activity than nonusers, but also possessed higher overall levels of total cholesterol and triglycerides. By contrast, the highest prevalence of marijuana consumers were found among those with the lowest glucose levels.

Investigators concluded, “Our analysis of adults aged 20-59 years … Showed that participants who used marijuana had a lower prevalence of DM and lower odds of DM relative to non-marijuana users.” They caution, however: “Prospective studies in rodents and humans are needed to determine a potential causal relationship between cannabinoid receptor activation and DM. Until those studies are performed, we do not advocate the use of marijuana in patients at risk for DM.”

Previous studies in animals have indicated that certain cannabinoids possess anti-diabetic properties. In particular, a preclinical trial published in the journal Autoimmunity reported that injections of 5 mg per day of the non-psychoactive cannabinoid CBD significantly reduced the incidence of diabetes in mice compared to placebo. Investigators reported that control mice all developed adult onset diabetes at a median of 17 weeks (range 15-20 weeks), while a majority (60 percent) of CBD-treated mice remained diabetes-free at 26 weeks.

by Paul Armentano, NORML Deputy Director http://blog.norml.org/2012/12/12/study-cannabis-associated-with-lower-diabetes-risk/

Full text of the study, “Decreased prevalence of diabetes in marijuana users: cross-sectional data from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (NHANES) III,” appears online here

By fully legalizing marijuana through direct democracy, Colorado and Washington have fundamentally changed the national conversation about cannabis. As many as 58 percent of Americans now believe marijuana should be legal. And our political establishment is catching on. Former president Jimmy Carter came out this month and endorsed taxed-and-regulated weed. “I’m in favor of it,” Carter said. “I think it’s OK.” In a December 5th letter to Attorney General Eric Holder, Senate Judiciary Chairman Patrick Leahy (D-Vermont) suggested it might be possible “to amend the Federal Controlled Substances Act to allow possession of up to one ounce of marijuana, at least in jurisdictions where it is legal under state law.” Even President Obama hinted at a more flexible approach to prohibition, telling 20/20‘s Barbara Walters that the federal government was unlikely to crack down on recreational users in states where pot is legal, adding, “We’ve got bigger fish to fry.”

Encouraged by the example of Colorado and Oregon, states across the country are debating the merits of treating marijuana less like crystal meth and more like Jim Beam. Here are the next seven states most likely to legalize it:

1) Oregon
Oregon could have produced a trifecta for pot legalization on election day. Like Washington and Colorado, the state had a marijuana legalization bid on the ballot in 2012, but it failed 54-46. The pro-cannabis cause was dogged by poor organization: Advocates barely qualified the initiative for the ballot, and could not attract billionaire backers like George Soros and Peter Lewis, who helped bankroll the legalization bit in Washington.

But given that Oregon’s biggest city, Portland, will be just across the Columbia River from prevalent, legal marijuana, the state legislature will be under pressure to create a framework for the drug’s legal use in Oregon – in particular if the revenue provisions of Washington’s law are permitted to kick in and lawmakers begin to watch Washington profit from the “sin taxes” on Oregon potheads. If lawmakers stall, state voters will likely have the last word soon enough. Consider that even cannabis-crazy Colorado failed in its first legalization bid back in 2006.

“We have decades of evidence that says prohibition does not work and it’s counterproductive,” said Peter Buckley, co-chair of the Oregon state legislature’s budget committee. For Buckley, it’s a matter of dollars and common sense: “There’s a source of revenue that’s reasonable that is rational that is the right policy choice for our state,” he said. “We are going to get there on legalization.”

2) California
California is unaccustomed to being a follower on marijuana liberalization. Its landmark medical marijuana initiative in 1996 sparked a revolution that has reached 18 states and the District of Columbia. And the artful ambiguity of that statute has guaranteed easy access to the drug — even among Californians with minor aches and pains.

In 2010, the state appeared to be on track to fully legalize and tax pot with Proposition 19. The Obama administration warned of a crackdown, and the state legislature beat voters to the punch with a sweeping decriminalization of pot that treats possession not as a misdemeanor but an infraction, like a parking ticket, with just a $100 fine. In a stunningly progressive move, that law also applies to underage smokers. And removing normal teenage behavior from the criminal justice system has contributed to a staggering decline in youth “crime” in California of nearly 20 percent in 2011.

The grandaddy of less-prohibited pot is again a top candidate to fully legalize cannabis. Prop 19 failed 53-47, and pot advocates are determined not to run another initiative in an “off-year” election, likely putting ballot-box legalization off for four years. “2016 is a presidential election year, which brings out more of the youth vote we need,” said Amanda Reiman, who heads up the Drug Policy Alliance’s marijuana reform in California.

Economics could also force the issue sooner. Eager for new tax revenue, the state legislature could seek to normalize the marijuana trade. There’s no Republican impediment: Democrats now have a supermajority in Sacramento, and Governor Brown has forcefully defended the right of states to legalize without the interference of federal “gendarmes.”

3) Nevada

Whether it’s gambling or prostitution, Nevada is famous for regulating that which other states prohibit. When it comes to pot, the state has already taken one swing at legalization in 2006, with an initiative that failed 56-44. “They got closer than we did in Colorado that year,” says Mason Tvert, who co-chaired Colorado’s initiative this year and whose first statewide effort garnered just 41 percent of the vote.

For prominent state politicians, the full legalization, taxation and regulation of weed feels all but inevitable. “Thinking we’re not going to have it is unrealistic,” assemblyman Tick Segerblom of Las Vegas said in November. “It’s just a question of how and when.”

4) Rhode Island
Pot watchers believe little Rhode Island may be the first state to legalize through the state legislature instead of a popular referendum. ”I’m hoping this goes nowhere,” one prominent opponent in the state House told the Boston Globe. ”But I think we’re getting closer and closer to doing this.”

Back in June 2012, lawmakers in Providence jumped on the decriminalization bandwagon, replacing misdemeanor charges for adult recreational use with a civil fine of $150. (Youth pay the same fine but also have to attend a drug education class and perform community service.)

In the wake of Colorado and Washington’s new state laws, Rhode Island has joined a slate of New England states that are vowing to vote on tax-and-regulate bills. A regulated marijuana market in Rhode Island could reap the state nearly $30 million in new tax revenue and reduced law enforcement costs. ”Our prohibition has failed,” said Rep. Edith Ajello of Providence, who is sponsoring the bill. ”Legalizing and taxing it, just as we did to alcohol, is the way to do it.”

5) Maine
Maine’s legislature has recently expanded decriminalization and is moving on a legalization-and-regulation bill that could bring the state $8 million a year in new revenue. ”The people are far ahead of the politicians on this,” said Rep. Diane Russell of Portland. ”Just in the past few weeks we’ve seen the culture shift dramatically.”

State legislators in Maine, as in other direct-democracy states, are actually wary of the ballot initiative process and may work to preempt the voters. A legalization scheme devised by lawmakers, after all, is likely to produce tighter regulation and more revenue than a bill dreamed up by pot consumers themselves.

6) Alaska
Alaska is already a pothead’s paradise, and the state could move quickly to bring order to its ambiguous marijuana law. Cannabis has been effectively legal in Alaska since 1975, when the state supreme court, drawing on the unique privacy protections of the Alaska constitution, declared that authorities can’t prohibit modest amounts of marijuana in the home of state residents.

That gave Alaskans the right to have up to four ounces – and 24 plants – in their homes. Following a failed bid to fully legalize pot at the ballot box in 2004 (the measure fell 56-44), the state legislature attempted to enforce prohibition, outlawing all weed in 2006. But citing the 1975 precedent, a judge later ruled the home exemption must be respected, though she sought to limit legal possession to a single ounce.

If taxation and regulation take root in nearby Washington, and perhaps more important in neighboring British Columbia (where legalization is also being considered), a ballot initiative in Alaska could win in an avalanche.

7) Vermont
Last year, Vermont finally normalized its medical marijuana law, establishing a system of government-sanctioned dispensaries. In November, the state’s Democratic governor, Peter Shumlin, just cruised to re-election while strongly backing marijuana decriminalization. The city of Burlington, meanwhile, passed a nonbinding resolution in November calling for an end to prohibition – with 70 percent support. The Green Mountain State has already embraced single-payer universal health care. Legal pot cannot be far behind.
Read more of the original artcle: http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/the-next-seven-states-to-legalize-pot-20121218#ixzz2FS5PavBn

To read more of Tim Dickinson’s article click here

Giving holiday gifts made from hemp is not only an eco-friendly option, but this cousin of marijuana is widely known for its positive industrial uses. Hemp fiber is the strongest, most durable natural soft-fiber on Earth, which can be used to create textiles, paper, clothing, biodegradable plastic, and so much more, without leaving a noticeable carbon footprint. Hempseed oil is also a favorite ingredient in body care products and health foods due to its high ratio of omega-6 to omega-3 essential fatty acids.

Overall, hemp is an overlooked plant that naturally keeps on giving, making it the perfect present for the holiday season. Ladies will love hemp beauty products, while tech gentlemen will appreciate hemp accessories. To help out with your Christmas shopping list, we’ve rounded up 12 of our favorite hemp gifts to give this holiday season!

The Body Shop Hemp Body Butter – $13.36

A best seller from The Body Shop

Nutiva Organic Hemp Protein 15G, 16 ounce canister - $11.89

Eco-Health!

Eco-nique Natural Hemp Autumn Brown Case Cover for Barnes and Noble Nook Color – Book Style – $29.24

Reading in style!

The Body Shop Hemp Hand Protector 3.3 fl oz (100 ml) – $16.50

Smooth Hands!

Sanuk Men’s Hemp Sidewalk Surfer – $30.77

Hemp and comfortable!

Bicycle Hemp Playing Cards – $2.71

We’ll see you and raise you…

Planet Dog 5′ Natural Hemp Leash with Fleece Handle – $21.95

Environmental Pooches!

Nutiva Organic Hempseed Shelled – $33.50

For the kitchen dwellers!

Hemp for Health: The Medicinal and Nutritional Uses of Cannabis Sativa - $11.77

To Health!

ColcaSac Uintah MacBook Pro Sleeve 15″ – $49.95

Eco-friendly and stylish!

Large Hemp Backpack - $34.99

Backpacking in style!

Dixie X Hemp Wellness Products – $33.00 – $160.00

Give the Gift of Wellness!

The other night we had both Colten and the baby sleep with us. It made it feel a little better and less spacious. Colty needed it. He misses his brother. He has woke up the last two nights and told me he’s been dreaming of you. He said that in his dream you were here in the house but I couldn’t see you only Colty could see you, he said you ran down the hall and came up to me and gave me a huge kiss and disappeared, but I couldn’t see or feel you only he could. In His dream last night he said you were here on your spot on the couch and yet again only he could see you. He said you were able to talk so clearly and well. This makes me happy that your coming to your brother in his dreams. He needs that, he’s so sad and it breaks my heart even more. (Which is almost impossible because its already broken into pieces).

We made it home from SLC on Tuesday night around 11. It sure was another long week without you. I swear if I watch that slide show of your sweet face one more time you might have to commit me to a looney bin. I do ok most the time but the second I see pictures of you and videos I’m a complete wreck.

Your funeral in SLC was nice. Lots of your family and friends attended. Even our neighbors Nathaniel’s and Liems parents came to it as they were in SLC for the holiday. John and Corinne flew in from Cali and CJ flew in from Texas.

The minute I walked up to your grave site for your burial I got an uneasy feeling and seeing how deep the grave was (it was nearly 12 feet or more deep) gave me chills and a vomit feeling came over my stomach and I felt dizzy. I held it together though. Thinking of you being down there in that cold dark grave forever really made things real. That you’re gone and I can no longer see your delicate face or hold your sweet hand anymore. There is room in your grave for two more coffins and 5 cremations. Ugh, the thought of more people dying and being put down there with you is unsettling. The ceremony at the grave site was beautiful though, which I’m sure you know because I know you were there holding our hands. We released a bunch of yellow, green and red balloons and as they took off in the sky a beautiful hawk soared near. We knew it was you with us that very moment, flying free. Like a free bird. Mike played that song as we sat on the couch the other night and I just broke down into tears. It’s like I literally can’t breath sometimes. God I miss you so much. The reception afterwards was lovely and grandma and everyone made some delicious food!

Sunday night we went up to primary children’s hospital where you lived for over 10 months of your life while we battled what ultimately took your life. We donated 6 reggae and rockin’ runners in your name buddy. It really hit home when we were up on the 4th floor and you weren’t with us. I started crying on our way out thinking, crap I’d give anything to have you up there fighting cancer, even if it was you getting chemo again. I’d live up there again forever if I could have you back. Even though I know it’s not what you wanted, and what kind of life would that be? I know you’re better off where you are, but that selfish part of me wants you here still fighting the fight. I left the oncology floor in tears and my heart in a million pieces. It felt good to leave a part of you up there again. I know you had a giant smile on your face and that you were so happy that your sissy tested and approved each of the runners. It’s her new job now!

Now we’re home, trying to get back in a normal routine. But what is normal without you here?? Nothing, I literally feel like I’m stuck in a torture chamber, looking at all your pictures, your toys, your dresser full of clothes. I folded the last of your dirty clothes that were laundered, no more washing your Jammie’s on quick wash. Now we just have 4 piles of clothes when I do laundry instead of 5. It’s just pure agony. I want so badly for you to be here with us forever.

I put your medicine box on top of the fridge. I can’t bare to throw it out yet and neither can daddy. I even yelled at it the other day. The oil and everything was supposed to make you better, make you well. We thought we were beating this, you seemed to be doing so well compared to how you were in July and August. Maybe we were just in denial. But I truly never felt like I would lose you. I always had that positive attitude and perseverance to keep going and I definitely thought you’d be here for Christmas this year. Our first Christmas home since you were 1 year old. I wanted you to be here and experience it.

I remember last Christmas while in California we took you to see Santa at the Bass Pro shop, we waited in line and you were so patient and also not feeling well as you had received radiation earlier that day. When we got up to take our turn you got up out of the stroller and ran up to Santa and hugged him. It was so cute. Now this year our Santa picture will be missing your beautiful smile and your little sissy will be there. Maybe we will skip the whole Santa thing this year, makes me nauseated to even think about it without you. I love you buddy. I hope your safe.

*******************

We were brought the most perfect Christmas tree on Saturday morning by a friend from work, (thanks Jen!) it was so sweet of her and her daughter to do, as picking one out myself would of been a waterfall of tears. So we set the tree up that night with Colty’s buddy Owen who came for a sleep over. (Colty needed that, he misses his buddy Owen). I tried to hide my tears as we put up the ornaments. I found the most perfect ornament for him , it’s a sock monkey with angel wings, seemed so fitting.

Everything just reminds me of Cashy. Everything I see or do. I think of him every second of the day. I seem to be able to hold it together when I’m around people and even when we talk about Cashy I’m always able to keep it cool. But when I’m alone, especially at home or in the car, I cry and I’m constantly telling you that I love you, that I miss you so much, and that I’m sorry that you suffered so much.” I pretty much repeat that over and over. I hope he hears me but I hope he isn’t sad that we are all so sad.

I get tears when I see things that he loved so much. Playdough and cars at Target (I couldn’t even go down the Matchbox cars isle) bug juice at the gas station. I even went as far as I bought him a bug juice on our trip to SLC. Weird and silly I know, but it would of been more painful if I ignored it and didn’t buy it and validated that he’s gone. Ugh. It’s all so new and raw and nothing seems right without him.

We even got rid of the minivan, Mike felt it was just way too hard to be in it. We let Mike’s cousin Jesse take it to help him get on his feet, he’s got a baby boy and he needs to be able to see him as much as he can. I know that’s what Cashy would have wanted, us to keep helping others even though we’ve lost everything.

So I’m really excited and grateful Mike has worked so hard on building Cashy’s Foundation. He’s done a great job. This way everything Cashy went through will not be in vain and we can keep spreading pediatric cancer awareness as well as spreading our knowledge on cannabis as a valid form of treatment. Even though it didn’t work for Cashy doesn’t mean it doesn’t work, we just need valid testing and research done so they can know exactly how much of a dose is needed and how often and ultimately different routes of delivery such as IV.

The time will come and I truly believe because of Cashy it will come sooner than later!

To learn more about or to help out the Cash Hyde Foundation, please visit www.CashHydeFoundation.com or to follow Cashy’s Battle Blog.

UnitedPatientsGroup.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight pediatric cancer! Thank you for your support!

UnitedPatientsGroup and The Cash Hyde Foundation:

• Our Journey has brought us some amazing stories…

• Doobons.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight Pediatric Cancer

• Medical Cannabis Resource Site Doobons.com Helps the Cash Hyde Foundation Spread Smiles

• Doobons.com Sends Out Plea for Cannabis Oil Donations for Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Victim Cash Hyde

• Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Patient Latest Casualty of Medical Marijuana Crackdown

• United Patients Group Spearheads Cash Hyde Foundation Medical Marijuana Reform Movement

Tonight I sat alone and listened to some of your videos that are on my phone, just so I could hear your sweet voice. Oh how I miss it so much. Sometimes I feel like I can hear you yelling for me. Then I remember your sweet body is gone. No more meds, no more forced bathes, no more juicing, no more Vitamixing, no more tube feedings, no more diaper changes, no more washing your monkey Jammie’s in a rush, no more cuddling on the couch holding your hand, no more trips to Walmart in the van with you dancing in the back, no more buying cars or little boy pj’s and little boy toys. What are we to do? Everything just seems so wrong without you. I’m so sorry we couldn’t save you.

I miss you so much that there will forever be a hole in my heart for you. Until we meet again little monkey man, be safe and I love you. Please come to me in my dreams, I need to see your sweet face.

To learn more about or to help out the Cash Hyde Foundation, please visit www.CashHydeFoundation.com or to follow Cashy’s Battle Blog.

UnitedPatientsGroup.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight pediatric cancer! Thank you for your support!

UnitedPatientsGroup and The Cash Hyde Foundation:

• Our Journey has brought us some amazing stories…

• Doobons.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight Pediatric Cancer

• Medical Cannabis Resource Site Doobons.com Helps the Cash Hyde Foundation Spread Smiles

• Doobons.com Sends Out Plea for Cannabis Oil Donations for Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Victim Cash Hyde

• Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Patient Latest Casualty of Medical Marijuana Crackdown

Well last Sunday night we were growing more concerned with how much longer we had with our beautiful boy. He was becoming more stuffier and the antibiotics didn’t seem to help. I want to emphasize that he was never was in pain, he was always comfortable. Four of the nights the week before Cashy was insisting on sleeping with his brother in his bed downstairs on the bottom bunk. They cuddled together most the night till 3am usually and then Colty would come up and tell us Cashy was ready to come back up to mom and dads bed. It was very precious and I’m glad Colty has that as a memory with his brother.

Monday I worked a day shift for a gal who needed Monday off so she would work for me Thursday night. Mike said he just slept most the day, he did our usual ritual get him up and give him a bath, get him dressed, wash his monkey Jammie’s on quick wash (only takes 15 min, thank you LG) while he screams at the washer for it to finish so he can have them back. But then we would have to dry them but he was usually ok with that as he didn’t want to wear wet monkey Jammie’s. He was such a character. So serious and adamant about certain things. It was always his way or no way, and you know we were ok with that, so was brother and even baby sissy.

Tuesday we packed up the minivan and all the kids and drove to Darby where we stayed at our friends John and Corinne’s guest cabin. What a beautiful place. Cashy planted on the couch and we all hung out and chatted for a little while, Colty and dad went on a four wheeler ride. We had talked about going up to lost trail hot springs, unfortunately they were closed but they said if we wanted to come still they would open it up for us. Cashy was always up for hot tubing so after being there for a bit Cashy kept asking to go “swimming” so we all loaded up and drove to the hot springs and we soaked it up for a half hour our so, Cashy included, after 15 min or so he was ready to get out so I took him and we got dressed. We drove back to the cabin and I got the boys ready for bed and they snuggled together upstairs while Mike and I talked with John and Corinne for a bit while I fed sissy. I stayed with kids, Cashy and Catherine and I all went down stairs to the king size bed and we all snuggled up and Cashy and I were singing songs, he sang the Barney I love you song, it was so cute, we giggled and laughed and went to sleep while I held his hand like he loved. His last night alive was not even in our home bed, in a beautiful cabin in Darby, MT.

We packed up and left in the morning, picked up a take out order of breakfast in Lolo and headed home. We ate and then Gave Cashy a bath with daddy, then he insisted brother get in with him as well. We forced him to brush his teeth, as it was always a battle with him. He was a strong little monkey, he could fight off that toothbrush like a ninja. Cashy then slept most of the day with waking up to eat Cheerios (which he hasn’t ate anything in weeks) Mike and Cashy laid on the couch and watcedh movies, Mike tried to turn off the TV so they could just cuddle but he kept saying “movie, daddy”. He wanted to listen to the movie and just snuggle. He even wanted to watch Sons of Anarchy, one of his favorite shows,( lol yes I know not the best kid show, but hey he was an old soul, he liked that stuff)!

Around 2 o’clock he started breathing a little labored, Mike gave him some extra oil and he dozed off peacefully and the labored breathing went away. Around 7pm the breathing started again and now it was a gasping type breath. Scared me so so much and ill never forget the sound, Cashy started acting anxious. We were so unprepared for this to happen we hadn’t needed any kind of pain medication throughout this whole process, well I panicked and though oh my god he needs morphine to help him pass away. I frantically called the on-call pediatrician which since I work in the hospital I got the number myself and called her, she refused to order Cashy any morphine and she couldn’t get a hold of his pediatrician, she told me I needed to take him to the ER. Which we obviously were trying to avoid. No more pokes remember. I was so appalled by how we were treated with trying to get some medication for him. I got Dr. Randall’s house phone number from the gals at work and called him three times at home, after the third call his angry wife answered the phone “is this the hospital?” I’m like no/kinda… I told her the situation and she goes well I guess I’ll wake him up and have him call you, this was 9pm, not exactly that late. We gave him more oil and Mike and I took turns holding Cashy, his last coherent thing he did was puckered up his little dry lips and gave me the sweetest kiss ever. I’ll forever remember that. Well he never called and Cashy quit doing the labored breathing again I passed him to mikes mom Julie so I could breast feed the baby because she was screaming. Well he started kicking his legs and you could tell he wanted Mike or I so mike came back and cuddled him on the couch. Well minutes later, I was standing in front of them and Mike goes he’s gone babe, I looked for a pulse amidst the tears and I didn’t even need to know I could tell he was gone. So still, yet unbelievably peaceful. 9:55pm. Mike said he literally felt Cashy enter his heart, it started rapidly beating and a strong burst of energy and he was gone. Cashy was surrounded by over 20 friends and family while he took his last breath on earth in his daddy’s arms. A selfish part of me was jealous that I wasn’t the one holding him during his departure from earth but I’m really glad Mike has that to cherish forever.

Cashy has taught me a lot of things throughout this journey and one of them is to be a better person and for that I am happy Mike has that special moment. I brought him into this world (which let me tell you he made quite the entrance, from a car accident while I was pregnant, a hearts are decels to having the cord wrapped around his neck twice and around his shoulder, and an eruption on the placenta, he never even required oxygen though, he’s that big of a stud, lol) and Mike held him on his way out, and that I am grateful for.

After he passed and we all caught our breath I gave him his last bath, we undressed his lifeless skinny, pale body and I held him up like a newborn in the tub and bathed him, washed his hair, and wiped his boogers (he would always say put it back mommy, so I would pretend to put back his booger) Mike goes, put it back mommy. We all laughed with tears in our eyes.

Well 40 minutes after he had passed away 5 policemen show up at the door to “investigate” the unattended death,. So I’m going to say this, we had never needed Hospice care, he was always comfortable, we didn’t anticipate his death to happen this week, and I had honestly never thought about his passing away, I guess maybe we were in denial, or we were just always so positive and thought that he was going to beat this tumor. So they barged in, the city cops and county sheriff and the county coroner was there. They insisted we show them some proof of him having cancer so we pulled out his giant chart we had of hospital records and such (remember this is after he just died, I had just bathed his little body and we were still in utter shock) they took photos of his records and then we argued with them as the tried to tell us that they were taking his body, after he only had been dead a hour!! My mom started getting heated with them as they also argued with her and told her that he wasn’t telling her how to do her job. They made me take his little body back to our room and I laid him on our bed. They undressed him and took pictures of his shell of a body. I bawled my eyes out in confusion, anger and how demeaning and uncaring this was to do to my 4 year old son who battled such a courageous battle for his life. They questioned me what his scars were on his face like I had done it to him or something. I explained in defense. Well after coming to a agreement after nearly an hour and half of them in and out of the front door, they went to their patrol cars and sat in them just a few houses down from ours. By the time they left his was stiff and hard, and rigor had set in. At 2 o’clock one of the officers or the sheriff I can’t remember, called and said that he was reading through his rules and regulations and that “Cashy’s body was their property” and that they could take him now if we didn’t pick a funeral home and they would take him to the county coroners office (serious!!!), we decided garden city funeral home because they have a excellent rep in Missoula. So the sheriff came back and called the funeral home and over the phone we agreed they would come and pick up his body at 6am. Thank God, 4 more hours with my boy to hold him and lay with him in our bed for the last time. Mike and I snuggled and cried and held his hand we didn’t even sleep. From 4 o’clock to 5:45 I sat on our bed with him in my lap and just talked to him and cried my eyes out. I told him how sorry I was that we couldn’t save him, that he was so courageous and strong throughout all of this, I told him he was my true hero and how much I love his little spicy monkey attitude. At 6:45 the funeral director came and Mike loaded his body on a stretcher and kissed him goodbye.

What a strange and awful feeling it was to not have to get up and give Cashy his daily meds, his daily juicing, make a Vitamix, fight giving it all to him because he hated all of it. The first day was a blurr of tears, extreme tiredness, but yet a sense of peace encompassed me knowing that he was free and no longer suffering. I can say from that instant now on I no longer fear death. I know now that Cashy will be there to greet me and all my fears of death and dying all flew away.
The last week has literally been a blurr of emotions, busy work, and planning the thing I had feared and dreaded most, a funeral for our sweet boy. Looking through thousands of pictures and videos just filled my heart knowing that he had a great life, we gave him everything we could, we tried so hard to save his life but god wanted him back. He was to precious and innocent for this earth. But it doesn’t leave me without wondering, who is holding his hand, who is rubbing his back, who is there holding him now. I don’t think anyone can care or love him more than Mike and I. So many questions, so much heartache. My friend Michele put it right when she texted me today, that I probably have a sense of relief that its over and he is no longer suffering but also guilt because I do have that sense of relief. Then comes the tears again, and your so blind from tears and hurt in your heart all you can do is smile and hope that Cashy is with you helping you along. If it wasn’t for all my friends and family this past week, I’d probably be confined to bed and comfy pjs everyday. I was able to go workout yesterday amidst the tiredness and fog. That was nice. It’s so strange not being tied down to the house like we were. There always had to be someone home with Cashy. Now it’s just us 4, not us 5 like it should be.

Cashys celebration of life was Monday, there were about 300 people who attended. It was an amazing beautiful service. We were blown away with the support our community showed our family. We are truly blessed with such great friends and family and people who cared for our amazing little boy of steel. Thank you everyone who attended and helped out. We appreciate everything everyone has done, the flowers, the meals, the cards, helping with the ceremony, the Cashy’s cranes, the slideshow, the ceremony handouts, and so much More and most of all, the prayers. We couldn’t of done any of this without all your help and support.

Yesterday was definitely a down day, quit around the house. We wrapped everything up in Missoula and then prepared for the next ceremony this weekend. I said goodbye to my best friend who was up here the day after he died from Phoenix, thanks Janess for all your help, I love you so much. My other best friends Lyndsey and Jacque were here sat and helped us dress him and prepare his coffin on Saturday. We dressed him ourselves in his little tuxedo and big boy underwear (even though he wasn’t potty trained, if it wasn’t for cancer he would be). I keep telling mike he’s probably pissed off as all hell wearing a tuxedo, he wants those monkey Jammie’s. lol. But then Mike reminds me when he was healthy he loved getting up every morning and getting all dressed up and ready to go.

So now were still driving to SLC about 2 1/2 hours to go. This has been a amazing beautiful drive even though its our first SLC trip without him in the back doing his fist pump to the music. I miss him so incredibly much, it’s impossible to even explain it in words, is how ill put it. Our bed is big and empty. Lonely.

I’m so glad I took so many pictures, there’s so many memories. We will have those forever. Tonight hold your babies close and kiss them for us. Ill update again after his next ceremony. Thanks again everyone, we are truly blessed to have you all. Sleep safely Cashy, I love you so much. I hope your happy and running free. One love!

To learn more about or to help out the Cash Hyde Foundation, please visit www.CashHydeFoundation.com or to follow Cashy’s Battle Blog.

UnitedPatientsGroup.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight pediatric cancer! Thank you for your support!

UnitedPatientsGroup and The Cash Hyde Foundation:

• Our Journey has brought us some amazing stories…

• Doobons.com and The Cash Hyde Foundation team up to fight Pediatric Cancer

• Medical Cannabis Resource Site Doobons.com Helps the Cash Hyde Foundation Spread Smiles

• Doobons.com Sends Out Plea for Cannabis Oil Donations for Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Victim Cash Hyde

• Four-Year-Old Brain Cancer Patient Latest Casualty of Medical Marijuana Crackdown

If the conversation at your Thanksgiving dinner gets boring, you should feel comfortable bringing up marijuana legalization. It’s been all over the news since Election Day and public opinion about marijuana legalization is changing rapidly — from 36 percent in favor and 60 percent opposed in 2006 to 50 percent in favor and 46 percent opposed as of 2011. That’s a 28 point swing in just five years. Your family may be more supportive than you think.

Here are five useful talking points for your dinner table conversation about marijuana:

1. As our executive director Ethan Nadelmann points out, “It would be a mistake to call these ballot initiative victories ‘pro-pot.’ Most of those who voted in favor don’t use marijuana… What moved them was the realization that it made more sense to regulate, tax and control marijuana than to keep wasting money and resources trying to enforce an unenforceable prohibition.”
2. The passage of these initiatives only marks the beginning of a long fight ahead. We are bound to see some sort of response from the federal government. For example, the feds’ ongoing war on medical marijuana dispensaries quietly continues to threaten patient access. There is a long fight ahead defending and implementing these measures.
3. Marijuana arrests are the driving force of the drug war — they make up half of the more than 1.5 million annual arrests for drugs. Legalizing marijuana means freeing up resources so law enforcement officials can focus on serious and violent crimes.
4. High school seniors continuously report that they find it easier to acquire marijuana than alcohol. Why? People who sell beer are forced to ask for proper identification but the illicit market doesn’t force people who sell drugs to ask their customers for I.D. Regulating marijuana will help ensure that only adults are able to legally purchase marijuana, making it more difficult to wind up in the hands of young people.
5. This is the same way alcohol Prohibition came to an end — seeing the incredible increases in violence and corruption after pushing alcohol into the illicit market, states experimented with new laws repealing prohibition and ultimately led to the repeal of federal Prohibition.

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect about the past, but it’s also an important time to discuss the future. Use this Thanksgiving as an opportunity to hear how your family feels about the war on drugs.

Derek Rosenfeld is internet communications associate for the Drug Policy Alliance.

This piece originally appeared on the DPA Blog: http://www.drugpolicy.org/blog/marijuana-conversation-thanksgiving-dinner